A Dream of Lughnasa

   I had a strange dream last night about a ritual at Lughnasa. In the dream the people had gathered to honor Macha and Nuada at the harvest, which they were calling Brón Trogain. Everyone had met at a recently harvested field, the earth exposed with only a stubble of stems left jutting up in ragged rows. Two horses had been harnessed together with someone walking behind them, driving them. Two older girls walked in front and to each side of the horses tossing handfuls of straw in their path. The horses were driven over the straw as someone prayed to Macha to bless the earth and Nuada to ward it. I do not remember all the words of the dream prayer, only this part - "...walking, may your steps be sacred steps, walking, may Macha, raven of fierceness, bless this earth, walking, may Nuada, hound of battle, ward what we hold dear...".

  When I woke up I remembered the imagery and feeling of the dream quite vividly. I thought it was very odd because, although I know Brón Trogain is an alternate name for Lughnasa* it's not one I ever use. Macha is tied to Lughnasa by the Aontaí (harvest fairs) at Emain Macha, but we don't have, as far as I know, any existing rituals or even hints of rituals for her at that time. Also although there were traditions in the spring of leading horses over fresh planted fields to make the crops grow better (O hOgain, Lore of Ireland mentions that) I don't know of any such rituals in the autumn.
   I decided to do some research into the different parts of the dream and as expected didn't find anything relating to the ritual itself. Weirdly I did find a study showing the agricultural benefits of covering fields in cut straw over the winter, but I don't believe this was an Irish practice in antiquity. Macha is connected to horses, so the idea of the horses as a blessing agent had a certain logic to it. What I found most interesting though was looking up Brón Trogain in Old Irish. Usually the name of the holiday is translated as "sorrow of the earth" because of the phrase given in the Wooing of Emer passage and it is firmly connected to the beginning of autumn and Lughnasa. I decided to look at what the words themselves actually meant to see if that could offer any insight. Brón means sorrow, grief, burden, or lamentation. Trogain not only means earth and autumn but also female raven, so it could be translated as "Sorrow of the (female) raven". Macha, of course, as one of the Morrigans is associated with both the hooded crow and the raven, forms that she was believed to take. Additionally Trogan is associated with childbirth through this expression "used as an imprecation [curse] troigh mhna troghuin foruibh `pangs of a woman in childbirth" (eDIL, n.d.). I have long held the imbas that it was at a Lughnasa aonach that Macha was forced to race the king's horses and gave birth to her twins, and cursed the men of Ulster, so the odd linguistic connections between the name Brón Trogain for the holiday and the translation of "sorrow of the raven", along with the connection of the word trogain, possibly, with a curse relating to women in childbirth seems far from coincidental to me.
   I still don't fully understand what this dream meant or why I had it. But I think I will be calling the holiday I celebrate on August 1st Brón Trogain from now on....

*From the Wooing of Emer:
55. To Brón Trogaill, i.e. Lammas-day, viz., the beginning of autumn; for it is then the earth is afflicted, viz., the earth under fruit. Trogam is a name for 'earth.'’

The Morrigan's Call: A Retreat Dedicated to the Great Queen

    I spent the last weekend at Temenos retreat center in Massachusetts, participating in a spiritual retreat dedicated to the Morrigan. The retreat itself ran from Friday afternoon through Sunday afternoon, but a lot was packed into that short amount of time. There were workshops, rituals each day, and a concert by Jenna Greene. We set up a temple in a screened in space at the top of a hill, and our temple had altars for an Dagda, Badb, Macha, Anu, Nuada, and the land spirits, as well as a large main Morrigu altar.

the main Morrigan altar

FRIDAY:
   I traveled up with my friend Melody. We arrived Friday afternoon and were directed to our cabin by Stephanie, who was organizing things. Temenos is off the grid so there is no cell phone reception, no electricity, and no plumbing. Our cabin, which we shared with two other amazing women, was beautiful; I could easily see myself living in that cabin year round. There was a kerosene lamp for light at night and a woodstove for heat, although we never needed to use the latter.

our cabin

 After unpacking and a quick side trip to the temple space to drop off some altar items, we hiked the half mile or so to the main lodge  over the dirt trail with its roots and stones and undulating rise and fall, watching carefully to avoid stepping on the little salamanders we'd been warned would be out and about. The main lodge was like a large version of our cabin but with a kitchen and limited running water; the water at Temenos is mineral water laced with iron, magnesium, and sulfur so there was also an abundance of bottled water around. Most people were staying at the lodge so on Friday afternoon it was a hub of activity as people arrived and settled in.
   Eventually, when it seemed that everyone who was coming had gotten there, we all processed up to the temple space - and I mean up, up a winding, steep, rocky path that I jokingly called a goat trail - to bless the space and invite in the different Powers. Blessing the space was a special experience, and I am glad I got to be part of it. The altars were a joint effort, created by people who brought different items to add, but the end result was cohesive and beautiful.
   At this point, if memory serves there was a break for dinner and then those of us participating in the first night's ritual headed down to the ritual space to get ready. Stephanie and Mayra Rickey had designed the rituals together and several of us had volunteered to help out by taking parts in them. This first one invoked Badb as the Washer at the Ford and was focused on cleansing and releasing the past. I cannot possibly do justice to the ritual by describing it in words; it was intensely moving and powerful and I truly believe that She was present with us and that we each got what we needed from the experience.
  After ritual, as the moon rose and the sunlight faded to darkness, we made our way back to the lodge and Stephanie and I taught our workshops. Her's was an introduction to the Morrigan and mine was about the Morrigan in the Invasion myths and what we could learn about Them and how They related to other Gods in those stories.

SATURDAY:
    Saturday morning started early, as we all woke up just after 6 a.m.; nonetheless we were slow getting going out of the cabin. The four of us spent a couple hours talking, reflecting on the first day, getting to know each other, and generally socializing in the cabin.

the view from our cabin

As the sun climbed higher though I finally had to excuse myself to go to the temple for my morning devotionals before breakfast. Morning devotional prayers are a daily practice I find deeply fulfilling and which I always find some way to do, although its much better to have a dedicated temple space to do them in. I went up, prayed, introduced myself to the local land spirits and daoine sidhe before heading down to the lodge looking for something to eat. The atmosphere in the lodge was open and friendly, with people hanging out and chatting in small groups. I made my way to the kitchen where one of my cabin-mates, the amazing Natalie, was cooking and I quickly acquired some pancakes. It was wonderful to stand and eat and get to know my fellow retreat members, especially talking with people that were from very different places that I had an unbelievable amount in common with.
   There were some great workshops Saturday, including a class by Stephanie on Babd, one by Ed Rickey on the warrior mindset, and one by Michelle Skye on connecting to Macha. All of them provided insight and moments to connect to the Goddess in profound ways. I taught one on honoring the Morrigan in difficult times as well. And in between there was lunch and labyrinth walking and more socializing.
   The highlight of Saturday for me was a ritual devoted to Macha, who of course I am dedicated to. The ritual was designed as a challenge, to confront people and ask them what was worth fighting for. I had the role of Macha of the Battlefield and the job of challenging each participant with my sword during the center of the ritual. I consider it a very great honor to have been able to do this as part of my service to Her and I hope that I did that job well. The ritual itself I cannot describe, but I will say that it was one of the most intensely spiritual experiences of my life.
  Afterwards the group headed back to the lodge for dinner and I and a couple others went up to the temple space. Honoring Macha is an honor to do, but it is not always easy nor simple, and certainly not always what I expect it to be. I let go of one of my greatest fears this weekend and embraced an aspect of service I have always balked at doing, always pulled back from. I let go of my fear and faced my own challenge, my own question of what was worth fighting for, and set my feet on a path that I cannot turn back from now. Because there is dedication in word and there is dedication in deed...
    After temple we went down to the lodge with everyone else and ate and enjoyed Jenna Greene's concert. I have heard Jenna many times but it is always a treat to listen to her play her harp and sing, especially this time with Brian Duguay joining in - they duet beautifully. It seemed like such a perfect ending to a day that was both intense and moving, although in fairness my day ended not with gentle music but with a rather amusing trek through the dark, following a flashlight beam and my intrepid cabin-mate Ivy with my other cabin-mates trailing behind. There was a certain symmetry in the day ending as it did, with music and song and fellowship followed by a challenging journey on a rough and unpredictable path through the tenebrous woods.

SUNDAY:
   The morning of the final day dawned bright and hot. Morning devotionals were followed by breakfast and socializing, very much like the day before, the routine already feeling comfortable and normal. It quickly became clear that the original schedule for the day was going to have to be rearranged to accommodate several unplanned for situations that had arisen, but the entire group rolled with it in a marvelously convivial fashion. We moved the final ritual, a blessing dedicated to Anu, up and shifted the workshops back, moved the location of the ritual closer to the lodge to accommodate some mobility issues and worked in a small mini-ritual before hand to include a couple people who had missed the first two rituals but wanted to come to the final one. I reprised my role as Macha in the mini-ritual and participated in the Anu ritual as Anu of the sidhe, handing out the blessed tokens. The energy of this final ritual was calm and solid - I felt like a standing stone through most of it - and entirely perfect to end the retreat with.
  After the final ritual we had a raffle to raise money for the Wounded Warrior Project, with lots of great items going to support the cause. Then Michelle did a workshop on bird omens, I taught one on Morrigan and the Fair Folk, which ended up more as a class on the Fair Folk with some discussion of how that relates to the Irish Gods (and apologies for my atrocious accent in Irish to the lovely girl from Roscommon), and Natalie did a crafting workshop. And then it was a rush to pack and head off the site to get home....

Temenos

    People came to this retreat from as far away as Canada and Florida, from California and Virginia. People came representing many different pagan paths and belief systems. Women and men, old and young, different ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds, different education and life experience backgrounds, different beliefs and approaches - a diverse group of people, all coming together for one purpose, to honor the Great Queen. Without melodrama, without interpersonal conflict or ego, without tension between the many, many different people's differences. We came together to honor Her, and we did; in word, and song, in ritual, and prayer, in communion with each other and by sharing our experiences and insights with each other. And it was an awesome and amazing thing to experience.   

Random Morrigan Shenanigans

 Recently a new book was released: By Blood, Bone, and Blade, a tribute to the Morrigan. This is an interesting work with an assortment of material from many different contributors and like all anthologies some of the material is really good and some is less so. I personally have an essay and several prayers in the book.
  On another Morrigan related note I will be at a Morrigan Retreat in Massachusetts this weekend teaching workshops, helping with rituals, and generally honoring the Great Queens. I'm excited for this opportunity to honor Her/Them and to spend time with other people who honor Her. My workshops look at the Morrignae in the Lebor Gabala Erenn and what that tells us about Them, the Morrigan as a goddess for difficult times, and the Morrigan in relation to the daoine sidhe.
  When I get back I'll share my experiences here.

Ethics of Divination

  In most modern pagan paths divination plays an important role. This is true in modern witchcraft and in Druidism, where divination might be used in ritual to predict a group's immediate future or to tell if offerings were accepted. Divination in witchcraft might be used before or after spellwork or more broadly to help a person find guidance or communicate with the Gods and spirits. In Heathenry we see divination used sometimes at baby blessings or namings, where a rune might be drawn to predict the child's luck, or as part of some rituals by adult participants for a similar reason. Besides ritual applications divination is also used more broadly by people seeking answers and looking for insight.

   Although not every Druid, witch, or Heathen uses divination, for many it can be a central tool for the practice of their faith. Divination then is an important thing to consider within a spiritual context and looking at it in this context raises important ethical questions. As a diviner what responsibility do we have to relay the messages we receive in an ethical manner, knowing that divination is an often imprecise and vague art?
   The first way that this can come up is when we are taking omens in ritual and the omen appears as a negative one. If it applies to a person care must be taken in how the omen is relayed so that it doesn't seem overwhelmingly bad, but at the same time we don't want to soft pedal the message so much that the meaning is lost. I've seen both extremes happen, once where a negative omen was given very bluntly in a way that frightened some people, and another time where a negative omen was actually rejected and a second omen taken so that the message would be better. Neither of these is constructive; rather I think we have an obligation to say what we see in a neutral way that shares the content but without passing on a sense of judgment of good or bad. This can of course be challenging if the omen itself is very negative, but even in that case the response can include further divination to find out if anything can be done to mitigate the situation. This is where interpreting the omen comes in and the interpretation should rely on both intuition and an ability to craft the message in a constructive way. Even a bad omen serves a purpose and should be interpreted and considered, rather than ignored or rejected.
    The second way I think that ethics can come into play is when we are doing more general divination and the reading is showing information that is important but will also certainly negatively impact the person hearing it. I have read tarot semi-professionally for over 10 years, and runes for more than 5 and I have had an amazing array of things come up in readings. I've had people ask about infidelity, parentage of children, pregnancy, and serious illnesses - and I've had all of these things come up for people who were not asking about them and had no idea there might be any such problems. What is the ethical thing to do? Do we tell a person a what we see when it might motivate a divorce or initiate an affair? My own approach to this, as with omens, is a middle road. I emphasize the uncertain, shifting nature of any divination tool and the need to really think about and process any information. I talk about possibilities and potentials rather than certainties, but I don't change the actual message of the divination tool, be it cards or runes.
   In the same way we should be cautious about over-emphasizing the positive in a reading. Making a moderately good reading into an extremely great one is not only unfair because it distorts the message but may also mislead the person into choosing an option they mistakenly believe is much better than it really is. Just as with negative messages, positive messages should be relayed in a straightforward manner that emphasizes the changeable nature of all divination.
   In my experience people will ultimately only listen to what they want to hear, no matter what you say or how you say it. But to be an ethical Seer or diviner is important and we should strive to be honorable in how we read for others. Being honorable means being honest and presenting the message without distortion, but also being clear that no message is written in stone. We should be sensitive to the feelings of the person or people we are reading for without letting ourselves be influenced to tell them what they want to hear. In the end we should approach reading for others as we would want someone else to read for us.

Wellspring 2014

 I returned home yesterday from my first national festival, Wellspring, an event put on by ADF.  This is ADF's 30th year, and although I've been a member since 2001 I've never attended an ADF gathering before. This year though I was asked if I'd be interested in doing a few workshops at Wellspring and after discussing the logistics with my Kindred sister, decided that it would be fun to go and bring the kids. I put in proposals for a selection of workshops and was set to do three: honoring the Other Crowd as a modern pagan, living Celtic Reconstructionism, and the Hidden Folk in Norse and Irish culture.

Thor shrine in the Runestead

   There was some point then were putting 5 children ages 10 through 1 in a car together for close to 9 hours was a good idea. In retrospect I don't know when that point was, but we did it, and after an epic drive through the night to avoid holiday traffic we arrived at Brushwood. We chose a campsite located strategically close to the bathrooms (5 small children, remember?) and also on the fringe where crying baby at 6 am was less likely to bother people.
  There were a couple downsides to the weekend. We had been warned to be prepared for cold weather; we failed to anticipate it getting down to the mid-40's (Fahrenheit) at night and so did not have enough blankets. The kids were okay, of course, but the adults did not sleep well - and teaching workshops on little sleep makes for interesting times. I may have done an impression of Fonzie from Happy Days in one workshop. We also forgot to pack our bottled water so its safe to say dehydration was an issue.
  That aside I can honestly say Wellspring was an amazing experience. Brushwood itself is a wonderful place with a permanent nemeton and runestead where people can go to worship. I attended a moving Morrigu devotional at the nemeton the first day; during a portion of the ceremony where personal omens were being taken the temperature suddenly plunged so that our breath was a visible plume in the air and then just as suddenly warmed again. Every morning we would walk to these sacred places with the children to do our devotional prayers, which was powerful not only for my friend and I but also for the children.

Nemeton

My oldest daughter especially found the experience to be profound, as there was a small shrine to Brighid she went and prayed at every morning. She feels a strong connection to Brighid, which was made stronger by this devotional practice. I suspect she's trying to think of how to make something like this at home now.

Brighid's shrine

 Speaking of children - Wellspring had a great kids program with lots of fun activities. We'd been a little worried about keeping the kids occupied and happy, but they all enjoyed themselves - enough that they are asking to go back.
   There was a potluck dinner the second night we were there and I have to say I have never had so much fun at a potluck before, even if I was wrestling tired kids most of the time. The food was great, the company was great - Stone Creed Grove kindly invited our rolling circus to sit with them - and the atmosphere overall was convivial. And after dinner the Dragon Ritual Drummers performed, which was amazing to listen to - even from a quarter mile away, in a tent, with a sleeping infant.
  I saw an old friend and was able to spend a little bit of time with her, met several people in real life that I had previously only known online, and made several new friends over the course of the weekend. I think my workshops went well, and I enjoyed the ritual I was able to attend. I certainly wish I'd had more time to spend talking with people but overall I think Wellspring was a successful experience for us, and I came home feeling physically tired but spiritually revived.

Creating a German Heathen Cycle of Holidays

  One of my first steps in approaching Germanic Heathenry has been to look at what holidays to celebrate. Up until now I've divided my holidays between the Norse and Irish, with the solar holidays - the equinoxes and solstices - being Norse, so this represents an entirely new approach. I believe though that its important to have a solid idea of what is being celebrated, when, and why because it not only connects us to the cycle of the year but also creates a pattern of offerings and reciprocity with the gods and spirits. 
   If the year is divided into two halves, as Grimm describes, and May begins Summer then we may surmise that November begins winter; this lines up perfectly with my own regional environment so I am comfortable going with it. For my purposes then I have Summer Finding in May and Winter Finding in November, representing the shift between the two seasons; in each case the season that is ending would symbolically be defeated by the one that is beginning. Both also have different associations with the Wild Hunt. So we have just celebrated Summer Finding, Sommer Entdeckung, representing the beginning of summer and defeat of winter. 
   After summer begins we have the summer solstice, Mittesommer or Midsummer, when we honor Frau Sonne at the height of her power. Much like May Day this holiday was traditionally associated with Maypole dancing and revelry.
   We know from Grimm that the elves - alfar in Old Norse or German alpen or elben - were given offerings ceremonially in what he equates to the historic Norse alfablots. We just don't know if this was done at specific times of year, or when there was a need, or regularly. I decided to place this celebration at the beginning of the harvest season because the elves were associated with luck, health, and prosperity - all things that also go well with the symbolism of the harvest. I'll call it Elben Segen, or Elf Blessing. 
    I also wanted to include a celebration that focused just on remembering and honoring the ancestors; autumn seemed like the best time for that, but there was other symbolism already associated with the November 1st holiday, Winter Finding as I call it, that I felt detracted from the focus I was looking for. So on the fall equinox I'll celebrate Erntedankfest - Harvest Festival, Thanksgiving - which like the secular American Thanksgiving will emphasize family and harvest foods, but also include a ritual to honor the ancestors.
  Winter Entdeckung, Winter Finding, on November 1st will celebrate the passage of summer and return of winter. Wodan and Frau Holda will be honored, symbolizing the return of the Wild Hunt. 
  Julfest is a 12 day celebration running from approximately December 20th through January 1st. I've blogged about my yule celebrations before here. This year I will of course be looking at how to shift to a more Germanic approach, like including Holle Nacht, but I think many of the traditions will probably be fairly similar. 
   After Julfest, at the beginning of February, I want to keep the modern Heathen celebration of disirblot, but call it Idisi Segen, or Idisi Blessing. The Idisi are protective ancestral spirits, women who have died but continue to watch over the family line. Its important to properly honor the Idisi and I think its very appropriate to have a holiday just for them. 
   In March, at the spring equinox, I celebrate Ostara in honor of the German goddess of spring. She's an obscure one, but there is enough evidence of her to convince me and I think its important to honor her as the initial force of growth and renewal in the land. I have also previously honored Artio, a Germano-Gaulish goddess at this time. 
   And that brings us back to May Day - Sommer Entdeckung, Walpurgisnacht - which I just wrote about in depth and celebrated. 
    So from what I've gleaned from Grimm and incorporated from modern Heathenry I'm looking at:
Sommer Entdeckung - Summer Finding - May 1st - Frau Holda
Mittesommer - Midusmmer, June - Frau Sonne
Elben Segen - Elf-blessing, aka Alfarblot, august 1st - the Elben
Erntedankfest - Harvest Festival - September - honoring the ancestors
Winter Entdeckung - Winter Finding - November 1st - Wodan and Frau Holda
Julfest - aka yule, the night of December 20th through morning of January 1st - many different Gods and spirits
Idisi Segen - Idisi blessing, aka Disirblot, February 1st - the Idisi
Ostara - March, welcoming spring - Ostara

Sommer Entdeckung - My Family's First Walburgisnacht

   The evening of this past April 30th my family celebrated our first German-oriented May Day. It has been an interesting experience so far shifting focus with the children; their questions are pushing me to clarify and have an understanding of what I am doing that I probably wouldn't worry about otherwise. 
    We dedicated our celebration to Frau Holda and to welcoming back the summer. We invited in our ancestors, the friendly Huldufolk, and Frau Holda. We sang "Winter out, summer in" and I told the children about how we were at a turning point in the year, shifting from winter to summer. The children were curious about the ideas of summer and winter fighting each other and expressed hope that now our weather would finally turn. I pointed out that our local signs of spring/summer finally arriving included the forsythia and azaleas blooming.  We also talked about some of the history of the holiday and its association with witches. We made offerings of cedar to the landspirits, burning them on our altar, and offered bread to our ancestors. For Holda we offered flax seed, because its said that she brought flax to people. Finally we prepared a slice of oatmeal bread with butter and honey as an offering for the Windhund* and left it outside. 
    I had planned to include two things that we ended up not doing because of a cold steady rain: making a May Bush and ritually "drowning" winter. The first is actually a tradition shared by the Irish and one that the children and I have done before - it's always fun. We take a branch from a tree and set it up by the door and then decorate it with yellow ribbons and flowers. The second I read about in Grimm and I loved the symbolism; an effigy of Death, representing winter, is created and then ceremonially drowned in a lake or other body of water. My oldest daughter made a paper figure representing winter and we planned to drowned it in the swamp behind our house. After death/winter is banished we would have sung:
"Wir haben den Tod hinausgetrieben,
den lieben Sommer bringen wir wieder,
den Summer und den Meien
mit blümlein mancherleien"
 (We have driven out Death
  brought back the dear summer
  the summer and the May
  with little flowers of many kinds)
   All of this had to be saved for another day, probably next weekend, which will put it close to the end of the 12 day Wonnetdanz of Urgalaawe. I suppose that's fitting enough.  
  After the children went to bed I did a small personal rite to Holda on my own, committing to one year of honoring her and studying German Heathenry. It seemed fitting to do from one May Day to another. 

Duncan Royale Frau Holda statue

*the Windhund is a hound of the Wild Hunt left behind during the summer who may bring luck, prosperity, and protect from bad weather