Walburgisnacht by Any Other Name....

   Like the Irish the pagan Germans originally seem to have acknowledged only two seasons: summer and winter. In Teutonic Mythology Grimm discusses at length the way that these two halves, personified as "Herr Summer" and "Herr Winter" battle against each other with each one winning dominance over half the year (Grimm, 1888). Grimm emphasizes May Day as the beginning of summer, "Again, as summer begins with May, we have that month acting as its representative, and just as full of life and personality." (Grimm, 1888). And also discusses its importance as a holiday, "Everything goes to prove, that the approach of summer was to our forefathers a holy tide, welcomed by sacrifices, feast and dance, and largely governing and brightening the people's life." (Grimm, 1888). 
  In modern parlance the German pagan holiday is usually called Walburgisnacht or Walpurgisnacht. This name is certainly related to a saint and her saint's day* and possibly to an older pagan Goddess. The holiday is usually dated beginning on April 30th and going into May 1st, and this date is the one most widely used. In Teutonic Mythology however we see that the celebration was based on the blooming of certain flowers or the return of certain birds. This may show that originally the celebration's timing was based on environmental signs that would have varied by region, explaining why Grimm mentions May 1st but also gives no specific date and talks about some of the associated traditions being seen as early as March in southern areas. As Grimm says, "But the coming in of Summer did not happen on any fixed day of the year, it was determined by accidental signs, the opening of flowers, the arrival of birds. This was called finding Summer: 'ich hân den Sumer vunden,'" (Grimm, 1888). 
    I have never been comfortable using the name Walpurgisnacht because of the strong Christian connotations. (For the record I have the same reservations about the use of names like "hlafmas" and "candlemas" in a pagan context). Grimm tells us that "Now the arrival of Summer, of May...was kept as a holiday from of old. In the Middle Ages this was called die zît empfâhen, welcoming the season; den Sumer empfâhen [literally the summer receiving]" (Grimm, 1888). An alternative might be to call it Sommer Empfangen, or Summer Receiving, although the more eloquent English might be Summer Welcoming. As I quoted above Grimm also refers to "finding Summer"; I like this name and find it very pagan in tone so I am choosing to call this holiday Sommer Entdeckung (Summer Finding), although I'm aware that some Asatru groups use this name for the spring equinox holiday. 
    The focus of May Day is on welcoming back summer and celebrating the return of warm weather and its life affirming qualities. At this time some believe that the Wild Hunt leaves until the next winter, leaving behind a single hound called the Windhund who brings good weather, fertility and luck (Hodge, n.d.) This hound may be associated with several different goddesses including Frau Gode, Berchta, and Frikke and is offered a slice of bread with butter and honey on May Day to ensure its blessing on the home (Hodge, n.d). The night of April 30th is particularly associated with witches, who were said to gather to celebrate and in a modern context is considered a time of magic and enchantment. These witches were seen as honoring or belonging  to Holda (Grimm, 1888). Any or all of these goddesses might be honored by modern Germanic Heathens at this time. 
    There are many traditions associated with this holiday, too many for me to discuss here. We can however break the traditions down into roughly two types: those that banish winter and welcome summer, and those designed to bless or protect in the new season. Some of the first type are mentioned by Grimm and include wagon processions welcoming summer, the ritual drowning of winter personified as "death", a mock fight between two people dressed as Winter and Summer where summer prevails, and the singing of songs (Grimm, 1888). These songs may be short chants, such as "'Sommer' rein, Winter' naus!'" - summer come in, winter go out! - or may be longer (Grimm, 1888). The second type of tradition includes offerings to the spirit hound left by the Wild Hunt, burning old worn out tools, blessing bonfires which may be jumped over, the creation of May bushes - that is a small bush or decorated branch covered in yellow ribbons, flowers, and eggshells - and the gathering of flowers brought in to bless the house (Grimm, 1888; Hodge, n.d.) 
    There is a possibility that like Yule, Walburgisnacht was originally a 12 day holiday. This would be in keeping with  the amount of material that Grimm includes in his section on Summer, traditions which would be hard if not impossible to celebrate in a single day. Grimm also specifically mentions, in his section on witches: "The Witches' Excursion takes place on the first night in May... They ride up Blocksberg on the first of May, and in 12 days must dance the snow away; then Spring begins." (Grimm, 1888). This may indicate a belief that the welcoming of summer was a process of banishing winter, and only after rituals being done over the right amount of time - 12 days - would winter actually retreat and summer begin. In the German-American practice of Urglaawe the holiday includes the 12 nights of Wonnetdanz where certain frost giants fight against the thawing of the land and are repelled each night (Schreiwer, 2013). Looking at the wider scope of German practices from March to May, beginning with the holiday of Ostara and ending with Walburgisnacht (Sommer Entdeckung) we might also conclude that finding and welcoming summer is a process which begins with symbolic fertility and renewal and ends with the triumph of summer over winter.

  Its clear that this holiday was an extremely important one based on the amount of folklore associated with it. For modern Heathens there is an abundance of material to work with in creating rituals and building a set of traditions to follow. We should celebrate the return of summer with joy just as our ancestors did.
   In my next blog I will share my family's experiences celebrating this year.

References:

Grimm, J., (1888). Teutonic Mythology
Schreiwer, R., (2013) The 12 Nights of Wonnetdanz. Retrieved from  http://urglaawe.blogspot.com/2013/04/twelve-nights-of-wonnetdanz.html

Hodge, W., (n.d.) Waelburga and the Rites of May. Retrieved from http://www.friggasweb.org/walburga.html

* editing to clarify: May 1st isn't Saint Walburga's saint's day but rather the day she was canonized in the Catholic church (http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=209) which is where it is theorized the name Walburgasnacht for that date comes from. According to Hodge's 'Waelburga and the Rites of May' it is also a day associated with healing miracles of saint Walburga. Several sources theorize that Walburga may be the name of an older pagan Goddess, particularly one named Walburga Frouwa, but it is difficult to prove.

Winter Entdeckung - Winter Finding

Winter endeckung -The "Vergōdendēl‟
ritual centres around the harvest and the felling of the final sheaf of rye, which isdecorated. When the rest of the work is done, the workers all gather around the final, decorated sheaf,take hold of the ears of rye and shout the following three times:
"Friggöu, Friggöu, Friggöu! Dütt Jahr up'r Kare‚t andre up'n Wagen!"
(Friggöu, Friggöu, Friggöu! This year on the wheelbarrow, the other up on the wagon!"

References:

 Grimm, J () Teutonic Mythology

 Heath, C., (2013) From Fairytale to Goddess

Shifting Focus

 I've talked before about the fact that I follow a spiritual path that incorporates both Irish and Norse practices, but I tend to blog mostly about the Irish. Part of the reason for that is a struggle with talking about the personal aspects of my Heathenry; the other part is that my real connection is with Germanic Heathenry not Norse, but I defaulted to Norse early on because of the difficulty finding accessible modern Germanic Heathen material. I never felt quite at home in Asatru but hesitated to try to shift to the Germanic because I knew on some level that I'd end up having to do my own reconstruction of it, similar to what I do with the Irish.
   In the last year I've been drawn more and more to exploring that end of things though, and particularly to the goddess Frau Holle/Holda, but I always managed to talk myself out of it. Now, though I've finally decided to take the plunge and I committed myself to a year focused on Germanic Heathenry, officially starting on May 1st. What this means for my spirituality is that I will still honor the Irish Gods and celebrations, but that my main focus will be on the Germanic end of things. I want to really push myself to fully connect with this and experience it, even if the process means piecing things together as I go.
  I don't want to change the style or tone of my blog and I will still include Irish and Druidic material, but I want to use the blog to share my discoveries and experiences with Germanic Heathenry as I go along. This means that where before the content was something like 90% Irish and 10% Heathen that will likely reverse for at least the next year. I'm hoping those of you who follow my blog will enjoy going along with me as I learn about the Germanic Gods, spirits, holidays, cosmology, and magic. I'll share my experiences reconstructing the path as I'm doing it, and we'll see where it takes me.

Blessing the Growing Season

Preparing seeds to plant in the spring was something that was approached with great solemnity and ritual. The seeds to be planted would be sprinkled with water, in a sunwise motion, while a blessing charm was recited (Carmichael, 1900). This was done on a Friday, as it was seen as the day best for any action not needing the use of an iron tool (Carmichael, 1900). Interestingly Friday is also the day that the Good Neighbors were thought to be most active - they who are said to abhor iron - and in Irish belief the growth and success of crops is intertwined with the favorable interactions of the Good People.
  As we move into spring and get ready to plant this year's seeds, I'm offering a pagan version of a planting prayer from the Carmina Gadelica. It includes within it actions to be taken while saying it and ends with a mention of a blessing charm and divination act to be done at harvest time. I hope you may get some use from it.

Blessing the Seeds
I will go out to sow the seed,
In the names of the spirits of the land;
I will face boldly into the wind,
And throw a gracious handful on high.
Should a seed fall on a bare rock,
It will have no soil to help it grow;
The seed that falls into the earth,
The dew will make it full.
Friday, auspicious day,
The dew will come down to welcome
Every seed that lay in sleep
Since the coming of the merciless cold;
Every seed will take root in the earth,
With the blessing of the Good People,
The seedling will come forth with the dew,
It will inhale life from the soft wind.
I will come round with my step,
I will go rightways with the sun,
In name of the Goddess of the land,
In name of Gods of my people.
Blessing for abundance and health,
Be giving growth and kindly substance
To every thing that is in my ground,
Till the harvest day comes.
On the day the autumn equinox arrives,

Beneficent day,

I will put my sickle round about
The root of my plants as is needed;
I will lift the first cut quickly;
I will put it three turns round my head,

Saying my rune as I do,
My back to the airt of the north;
My face to the fair sun of power.
I shall throw the handful far from me,
I shall close my eyes twice,
Should it fall in one bunch
My harvest will be productive and lasting;
No old woman will come with bad times
To ask charity from us to take our luck,
Neither rough storms nor frowns will come
Nor stint nor hardship shall be on us.

The original is as follows:

THE CONSECRATION OF THE SEED 88
I WILL go out to sow the seed,
In name of Him who gave it growth;
I will place my front in the wind,
And throw a gracious handful on high.
Should a grain fall on a bare rock,
It shall have no soil in which to grow;
As much as falls into the earth,
The dew will make it to be full.
Friday, day auspicious,
The dew will come down to welcome
Every seed that lay in sleep
Since the coming of cold without mercy;
Every seed will take root in the earth,
As the King of the elements desired,
The braird will come forth with the dew,
It will inhale life from the soft wind.
I will come round with my step,
I will go rightways with the sun,
In name of Ariel and the angels nine,
In name of Gabriel and the Apostles kind.
Father, Son, and Spirit Holy,
Be giving growth and kindly substance
To every thing that is in my ground,
Till the day of gladness shall come.
The Feast day of Michael, day beneficent,
I will put my sickle round about
The root of my corn as was wont;
I will lift the first cut quickly;
I will put it three turns round
My head, saying my rune the while,
My back to the airt of the north;
My face to the fair sun of power.
I shall throw the handful far from me,
I shall close my two eyes twice,
Should it fall in one bunch
My stacks will be productive and lasting;
No Carlin will come with bad times
To ask a palm bannock from us,
What time rough storms come with frowns
Nor stint nor hardship shall be on us.

Reference:

Carmichael. A., (1900). Carmina Gadelica

Find Your Passion

  When I was in high school I first ran across the maxim "carpe deim" - seize the day. I remember reading it and feeling how much the idea resonated with me, but I was unable to actually take the advice. My life for a long time revolved around doing what I needed to do and trying to conform to what others expected me to do - none of which involved seizing the day or embracing the moment. I was a people pleaser, even in my non conformity. How that changed is a long story, but I think we all at some point come to a place where we realize that making ourselves happy matters as much as making other people happy and that we need balance between the two. Whether we choose to act on this realization or not, and whether we over-react and go to far towards only pleasing ourselves, will depend on the individual. 
   Its an interesting thing in life that we so often choose not to do what we feel drawn to do, but rather try to do what we feel other people want or expect us to do. We make ourselves unhappy in a constant quest to please others, instead of spending our time and energy on what makes us feel fulfilled. This life we are living is a unique thing, the only time we will be here in this exact form and these exact circumstances. It is a shame to waste our chances at joy and fulfillment, to miss opportunities to experience life and the numinous, because we are trying to make ourselves into some thing we aren't. 

Waterhouse, "The Flower Picker" 1895

   I believe all of us have something we are truly passionate about, something that drives us and that gives us a feeling of completion. It is part of our true self, part of the person we are inside who we don't always let other people see or know, but who is at the core of our being. What this something is will be different for different people, and it may not be limited to one thing - we may find several things that invigorate and inspire us. I feel this way about my family, about my writing, and about my spirituality, for example, and I couldn't say that one is a greater drive than the others. I think what matters though is finding what drives you and embracing it. Make your passion part of your life and let yourself be a priority for you - instead of an afterthought. Amazing things happen when people put their time and energy into what they love to do instead of just into what they have to do. 
   Stop and smell the spring flowers. Dance in the rain. Write a novel just for yourself. Accept the pain along with the joy, the disappointment and the success. Reach for your dreams, no matter how impossible they seem. Be who you truly are and love your life.

"Ut melius, quidquid erit, pati. Seu pluris hiemes seu tribuit Iuppiter ultimam, quae nunc oppositis debilitat pumicibus mare Tyrrhenum. Sapias, vina liques et spatio brevi spem longam reseces. dum loquimur, fugerit invida aetas: carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero."  - Horace, Odes 1:1

Finding Balance

   The spring equinox is upon us once more, a holiday that I celebrate several ways. Today, the equinox itself, I will honor Artio and leave offerings out for the Good Neighbors. This sunday I'll honor Idunna and my children will enjoy coloring eggs and hunting for treats.
   Since there is no strong evidence that the Irish celebrated the equinox I use this holiday to honor the Germano-Celtic goddess Artio, who I have worshiped for many years. I call it, rather informally, Waking the Bear and celebrate it in honor of spring and the return of warmer weather and new growth. I offer Artio honey, bread, and apples to represent the sweetness of spring after winter, the transformation of old into new, and renewal and regeneration. I also use this time to reflect on what my goals for the coming seasons will be and to decide what I want to accomplish by the fall.
   As part of a long standing personal practice I will also leave out an offering for the daoine sidhe. I once believed that this was a traditional custom but even after realizing it wasn't I decided it had personal value to me. Making bigger formal offerings to the Other Crowd every six weeks is a good pattern to be in, I think, and one that serves me well.
   I also honor Idunna at this time. It seems appropriate to me to choose now to honor the goddess who keeps the gods healthy and young with her apples, because springtime to me is so much about youth and vigor. I honor Idunna with a blot where I offer apples and apple cider. It may seem strange to be offering a fall fruit in spring but my thought is that apples can last about 5 months in storage so offered in spring would represent gifts of the precious fruit of the last harvest. And of course apples are especially Idunna's, being the fruit she uses to give immortality to the gods.
   My children color eggs and eagerly await a visit from the Osterhase (Ostara hare, more or less) who leaves a basket of treats and hides eggs for them to find. This year my 6 year old has been counting down the days to the equinox, confident that the first day of spring will bring warmer weather, while my 10 year old has focused on the visit from the hare. They are both excited about the prospect of celebrating the different aspects of the holiday and look forward to our family ritual tonight and Idunnablot this weekend.
   It is funny that this holiday which represents balance in so many ways ends up being one where I balance each of the things that influences me, honoring my Celtic, Norse, and Fairy Faith sides fairly equally in ways that I cannot always do at other holidays. Indeed the two equinoxes are perhaps the easiest holidays for me to celebrate and the spring equinox with its colored eggs and treats is one of the most fun. Spring is in the air and everything feels alive with potential and possibility; we should all try to enjoy it.

Interfaith and Workshop plans

  Today's blog will be a brief one, as my daughter has a same day surgery procedure tomorrow and I have a lot to do today, but I read an interesting blog by Jason Mankey discussing his views on interfaith work which he ended by saying that he prefers to focus on building within the pagan community rather than working on interfaith outside it.
  By definition interfaith work is rooted in looking for common ground between diverse religions. Ideally it goes beyond tolerance and nurtures acceptance and the acknowledgement of commonalities. For my own part I think understanding and tolerance are the first step we need to achieve before we start working on anything more grand. With so much work left to do in even getting people to understand what reconstructionism really is, I worry about putting the cart before the horse by emphasizing the common ground we share with other groups.
  Interfaith of all sorts is a something I find to be very important, not only so I can learn about other traditions but so I can give a voice to mine. I see interfaith work as a chance to educate others about my beliefs and traditions, whether those others are monotheists or other pagans. The goal of education is simply to spread sound information to dispel the fear and mistrust that comes from ignorance. Whether people like what I do, or agree with it, is inconsequential to me if they can come to a place of understanding and tolerance similar to what I have for them. And I think that interfaith work, sharing what I really do and why, is essential to the long term success of the both my own community and a wider, diverse pagan community.
   For reconstructionists, especially, I think its vital for us to get out there and have a voice. We are a minority within the minority, often misunderstood, maligned, and mocked, and that will only change if we actively work to change it.  Ignorance doesn't go away on it's own; ignorance must be changed through action, both the effort of the speaker to teach and the listener to learn. If we don't make that effort, if we don't try, and just remain within our own insular communities then nothing changes. As part of that we also have to work on being more tolerant of those we disagree with.
  As a follower of the traditional views about fairies, that viewpoint deserves equal time and respect too. Without a voice the old understandings are lost under the crush of new opinions and trends. And while it may be much easier to be silent, it is ultimately far more expensive.
  In the spirit of this, and more widely of my intent to serve my Gods and spirits, I am going to be fairly busy this year at events and conferences. I'm speaking at Connecticut Pagan Pride's Beltane event in April, at ADF's Wellspring event in May, a Morrigan retreat in Massachusetts in June, Connecticut's Pagan Pride Day in September and  the Changing Times Changing Worlds conference in November. I'm excited to have so many opportunities to meet people and talk about things I'm passionate about.

Spiritual Devotion and Small Children

   I remember the days, 20 years ago, 15 years ago, when spiritual devotion was an easy, flowing thing. If I wanted to stop and pray, or make an offering, or meditate on something I had the flexibility to do so. If I wanted to spontaneously drive out to a state park or to the ocean, I got in my car and went. If I was invited to attend an event or a group celebration I went. the only limitation I had was my work schedule. My focus when I prayed or conducted a ritual was to make it as perfect as possible. I had scripts to follow and high expectations.
   And then, ten years ago, I had my first child, and all that changed. My schedule wasn't my own anymore because there was no telling an infant to wait until I was done or finding that still meditative place in myself with a fussy toddler pulling at my hand. My previous approach to spirituality had been based around my own internal rhythms and patterns; what worked for me and when I felt pulled to do things. I had a very spontaneous spirituality, even in my set devotional work. When I planned things I had time to prep for rituals, to go over exactly what I was going to do until I was sure it could be executed perfectly. But all of that changed when children were involved.
  There was a time when I chaffed a bit at the feeling of restriction, especially after my second child, who has several chronic medical issues, was born. The way I did things - the way I had done things for years and years at that point - suddenly had to be completely revised. It was a challenge, to be sure, but I believed from the beginning that it was vitally important that my children be included and that what I was doing be something they could also appreciate instead of something they would see taking my attention away from them.
  We learned together how to form an organic approach to devotion and ritual. I had to accept that the idea of perfect prayers, recited with my full attention on worship, were right out the window; with small children you always have some small part of your attention on them and what they are doing. My offerings became more creative and also simpler, and I grew to understand that the Gods and spirits want our best efforts, but our best efforts in that moment not perfection. I re-read the Carmina Gadelica seeing it not as a simple prayer book but as a record of a living tradition practiced by people just like me, mothers praying their devotion within the daily round of feeding their families, bathing their babies, and worrying about the safety of those they loved.
    I learned that it was better to try than not to do at all, even if the result was comical or rushed or interrupted. My devotional work became a study in perseverance, a type of devotion in its own way. If my morning prayers are interrupted by a hungry infant I sit down and nurse him and keep right on praying. If my Lughnasa ritual falls on an especially hot day then we celebrate inside so that my younger daughter can participate too without getting sick. We adapt, we work with what we have, and we give the Gods our best effort in that moment. Because I am sure the Gods and spirits - and I know for certain my ancestors - understand about hungry babies, and sick children, about life and human limitations.

Beltane 2013

   My reward for adopting this approach is not only being able to continue my devotional practice no matter how chaotic my life may be on any given day, but more importantly inspiring my children to want to do what I do. My oldest daughter came to me of her own accord and asked if we could start saying my night prayers together, so now we do them as a family. They look forward to each holiday as something fun they will participate in, and they are proud to be part of the traditions we celebrate. I look back at myself 20 years ago and I see someone who was free to totally devote herself to her religion; I realize now that I still have that freedom if I choose to see my circumstances as a gift and not a burden.

   Fragment 216 (modified)

As it was,
As it is,
As it shall be
Evermore,
O Ancient Gods
Of Skill!
With the ebb,
With the flow,
O Ancient Gods
Of Skill!
With the ebb,
With the flow.

  - based on material from the Carmina Gadelica volume 2

An Essay on the Instruction of King Cormaic Mac Airt

      There are several Irish texts that offer instructions on how a King should live in order to be a good King, and these texts serve as good instructions for anyone to study on how to live a good honorable life. One of the best of these is the Instruction of King Cormaic Mac Airt, a dialogue that occurs between Cairbre and Cormac, where Cairbre is quizzing Cormac about the proper qualities of a King. The answers given describe the characteristics a King should embody, but these characteristics are equally applicable to any  person seeking to live a good life. These characteristics can be divided into two categories: ways that the person should act towards others, and ways that the person should uphold themselves.

     The dialogue response begins with Cormac describing ways that the King should act in order to uphold his own honor. The first of these is by having good geasa, or ritual taboos that are positive. This could apply to anyone who has a geis on them, if only in the way we choose to look at the ritual taboos that bind us; we can choose to see our taboos as positive or negative and how we react to them shapes their nature on some level making them either a gift or a burden. The next line advises the King to be sober, good advice since drunkenness is often a source of trouble. The King is advised to be an invader as well, which is a slightly more obscure line; however I believe that this advice pertains to ambition and the need for any person to have a healthy sense of what they can achieve. Only by pushing outward and seeking to expand can we truly achieve our own potential. The following lines suggest a good King should have good desires and be affable, telling us that people should seek to want what is best for themselves and have a friendly nature. A good King should be both humble and proud, meaning that we should be humble in knowing our own limits and admitting to our own mistakes but also proud of what we do achieve and owning our own success; only through a balance of these two can true success be found. In the same way we should be quick and steadfast, meaning we should act quickly when speed is needed but also have the stamina to stick with anything and see it through.  A good King, or a good Druid, should be a poet, versed in legal lore, and wise, as well as temperate. All of these qualities should be embodied in the King, or person, for them to find the inner strength to live honorably in all these ways, because these external expressions reflect the character within.

    Cormac also touches on ways that a good King should interact with others, beginning with being generous, decorous, and sociable. These three features all intertwine to support each other, and to support the proper social order where the King sets the tone for the Kingdom, but it is possible for anyone else to also live by these maxims and seek to express these things as well. Along with this go other suggested actions according to Cormac, such as feeding orphans, giving good judgments, raising up the weak, quelling wrongs, and loving truth while hating falsehood, all of which can be embraced by anyone seeking to live in honor. To seek to live these qualities is to seek to live Truth and support the right order of the world. The truth of this statement is seen in the final passage where Cormac describes what will occur in the kingdom of a good King, should he follow all this advice. We see the description of a good King ruling over a fertile land, with oak trees full of acorns, fruitful earth and rivers full of fish. In the same way if we as individuals seek to embody these characteristics and live these actions then we can also bring blessings upon the world we live in. 

Recommended Reading for Irish Druids

Irish Druid's reading list:
The Mysteries of Druidry by Brendan Myers - a great book that discusses Druidism from a specifically Irish perspective including both history and modern practice
Celtic Flame: An Insider's Guide to Irish Pagan Tradition by Aedh Rua - a greta look at one person's attempt to create a modern Irish pagan tradition. Useful for an Irish Druid on several levels, including ritual structure and thought provoking ideas on theology
The Apple Branch: A Path to Celtic Ritual by Alexei Kondratiev - not Irish specific but a must read fo rthe histrory of the different holidays; also full of important mythology and folklore
The Sacred Isle: Pre-Christian Religions in Ireland by Dáithí Ó hÓgáin - one of my personal favorites, a great look at the pagan Irish and Druids; the author does tend to look for a classical model for the Gods, so some of his ideas should be taken with a grain of salt, but overall very useful.
The Lore of Ireland: An Encyclopaedia of Myth, Legend and Romance by Dáithí Ó hÓgáin - essential quick reference for different Irish material, especially deities, heroes, places, and holidays
The Druid's Primer by L. Eastwood - again not Irish specific but an excellent look at the basic history of Druidism and a possible modern structure for it
Blood and Mistletoe: The History of the Druids in Britain by Ronald Hutton - an in depth look at the history of Druidism, particularly the revival period
The World of the Druids by Miranda J. Green - focused more on the history of Celtic religion and Druidism, including archaeological evidence
Druids, Gods & Heroes from Celtic Mythology (World Mythology Series) by Anne Ross - a basic introduction to Celtic mythology
Celtic Heritage by  Rees & Rees - an indepth look at Celtic culture
A Druid's Herbal of Sacred Tree Medicine by Ellen Evert Hopman - lots of herbal lore, but also tidbits of Druidic history and lore about the holidays
Druidry and the Ancestors by Nimue Brown - not specifically Irish, but an excellent look at how to incorporate ancestor honoring into modern practice
War, Women, and Druids by Philip Freeman - a concise collection of ancient references relating to Celtic culture including Druids and bards
Druids Sourcebook edited by John Matthews - a collection of a variety of early and later references and articles about Druidism.
I'd also repeat my Irish recon reading list as it includes a lot of the important mythology:
Festival of Lughnasa by Maire McNeill - an in-depth look at the historic and modern celebration of Lughnasa, including a good deal of folklore and mythology
 The Lebor Gabala Erenn - the story of the invasions of Ireland by the Gods and spirits and eventually humans.
 Cath Maige Tuired - the story of the battle of the Tuatha de Danann with the Fomorians.
 the Year in Ireland by K. Danaher - an overview of holidays and folk practices throughout the year.
 The Silver Bough (all four volumes) by F. MacNeil - Scottish but extremely useful for understanding folk practices and beliefs
Fairy and Folktales of the Irish Peasantry by Yeats - a look at folklore and belief, important for including the Daoine maithe in your practice
 Lady with a Mead Cup by Enright - useful look at ritual structure and society in both Celtic and Norse cultures
 Celtic Gods and Heroes by Sjoestedt - discusses both the gods and tidbits of folklore and mythology
I'd suggest my own books as well, but that seems a bit self serving..

A Family Imbolc

   This year's Imbolc was a special one for me, celebrating with the children, for two reasons. Firstly, because my oldest daughter, who is 10, has taken an active interest in participating over the past year. Secondly because I spent last Imbolc in the hospital recovering from a near fatal postpartum complication. This Imbolc I am home with my family, healthy, and have my children fully joining in with what I am doing. Life is truly good.
   Kevin Danaher in his book the Year in Ireland explains in detail about different Imbolc celebrations and I take some of my inspiration for practice from him. I start my holiday at sunset on January 31st, Imbolc eve, when it would have been traditional for families to prepare a big dinner, welcome Brighid in, make new Brighid's crosses, and set out a brat Brighid, Brighid's mantle, for the goddess to bless when she visited over night. In the morning omens were looked for to confirm Brighid's blessing on the home, athletic games might be enjoyed and the community would gather to celebrate.
   Last night we prepared the leaba Bhrighid, Brighid's bed, placing it in front of the fireplace. My oldest daughter took the Brideog (a small doll representing Brighid) outside and knocked on the door, announcing "Open the door and let blessed Brighid in"
  Holding the baby I opened the door with my younger daughter at my side and we said "Welcome! Welcome! Welcome! We welcome in Brighid to our home, your bed is ready."
  We all walked up to where the leaba Bhrighid was waiting and placed the Brideog inside, tucking her in and placing a small willow wand, the slat geal, in with the doll.

 We sang a little song we made up:
  "We welcome you in
   We welcome you in
   We welcome you in
   Blessed Brighid is here

   Your bed is ready
  Your bed is ready
   Your bed is ready
   Blessed Brighid is here

  Please bless our home
  Please bless our home
  Please bless our home
 Blessed Brighid is here"
  The children really enjoyed the pageantry of it all and especially the signing. I told them a few stories about Brighid and who she was and we talked a little bit about her symbols and the different things, like the leaba Brighid, that we were using. After getting the Brideog set up I placed my brat Brighid out on the windowsill, and we went to bed.

  This morning we woke up to bright sun and mild temperatures. We looked for omens of Brighid's visit and received several positive ones, including the sight of a rare Horned Lark; larks being birds associated with Brighid, and their song as an omen of good weather to come. I also noted the lack of wind, tying into another traditional Imbolc omen:
"As far as the wind shall enter the door
On the Feast Day of Bride,
The snow shall enter the door
On the Feast Day of Patrick." (Carmina Gadelica, 1900)

  Later today we shall make new Brighid's crosses, and tonight we will end our celebration with a dinner of pork and colcannon, and another Imbolc will have come and gone....

Ode to Caring for a Chronically Ill Child ~ for Paige

Sometimes I feel like the ocean

My waves fighting against

a relentless shore that refuses

to yield to my determination

High tide follows low in an endless

cycle of loss and gain and loss again

and you float upon the water, mo ghra

a tiny currach, without oars,

at the mercy of wind and wave

and the remorseless pull of land

blissfully unaware, you rest, held

up on the surface of my concern

What you are not able to feel, 

I will feel for you, mo ghra,

the heat of day, the cold of night,

the pain of injury and illness

your heartbeat, irregular as

my waves breaking on the shore

I will feel them all for you

As I feel each pounding wave

Do not fear the drag of land, mo ghra,

I will keep you from the jagged rocks

My surging sea will keep you safe

My waves will cradle you gently

And I will sing to you of stars and love

and if I cannot save you from the shore

then I will hold you all the way in

Sacred Horses

  Horses have long been seen as sacred animals in Irish paganism. Evidence shows the presence of horses in Ireland as far back as 3000 BCE and we know that during the Celtic period they played an important role (O hOgain, 2006). Horses were a status symbol, a very practical means of transportation, work animals, and also served in warfare, the Irish fighting mounted and with chariots. Many Irish Gods are associated with horses, including Macha, Aine, Dagda, and Manannan, and tests of mythic kingship often feature horses (O hOgain, 2006). Aine, for example, was said to take the form of a red mare and travel around the area near Knockainey. Horses often figure in mythological tales; for example Cu Chulain's horses played a role in the Tain, with one of them, the Grey of Macha, weeping prophetic tears of blood before the hero's death. The horses of Donn are said to escort the dead to the Otherworld, by some accounts, and horses were believed to be able to see ghosts and spirits (O hOgain, 2006). Horse skulls and long bones, like human ones, were preserved in ossuaries and there have been archeological finds that included the ritual burial of horses that are believed to have died naturally, showing the importance that the Celts gave to horses (Green, 1992).
    Even up until more modern times horse symbolism was important, and we see things like the Lair Bhan, (white mare) a person dressed up in a white sheet holding a carved horse head or skull who led a procession from house to house at Samhain. Holidays like Lughnasa prominently featured horse racing, which might be a race over a flat course or involve the riders swimming the horses across a river. An very old Irish belief was that horses had once been able to speak as humans could and that they were still able to understand people, making it important to always speak kindly to them (O hOgain, 2006). There are also a wide array of beliefs relating to Otherworldly horses like the Each Uisce and Kelpie; the movie Into the West deals with the story of an Otherworldly horse's relationship with two children in modern Ireland. It was believed that the seventh filly in a row born of the same mare (with no colts in between) was a lucky and blessed animal, called a fiorlair, a true mare (O hOgain, 2006). A true mare was naturally exempt from witchcraft and fairy enchantments, and this protection extended to her rider (Monaghan, 2004). Horses in general were lucky and would be walked over newly plowed fields, on the belief that a horse trampling freshly planted seed would make the crops grow better (O hOgain, 2006). Many protective charms and superstitions are aimed at protecting horses from the evil eye, fairy mischief and general ill health.
    At least one author suggests that eating horse meat was taboo in Ireland except under rare ritual circumstances; although we know that horses were eaten in Gaul and southern England they did not seem to be considered a food animal in Ireland (Monaghan, 2004; Green, 1992). Reflecting the sacred and important place that horses had in the culture, sites in Gaul that include the remains of sacrificed horses usually also include human sacrificial remains (Green, 1992). We know that in specific cases in Ireland horses were sacrificed and eaten,  in association with the crowning of a king. Ceisiwr Serith posits that horse sacrifices at ritual inaugurations are related to similar Indo-European practices, especially Vedic (Fickett-Wilbar, 2012). A ritual was enacted in Ulster, according to Gerald Cambrensis writing in the 13th century, where the new king had sex with a white mare who was then killed and stewed; the king bathes in the stew and then eats it as do the gathered people (Puuhvel, 1981). This ritual likely had  ties to the horse's symbolism and represented the king joining with the goddess of sovereignty (whichever one that may have been, I suspect Macha, although killing a horse wouldn't make sense when that was the animal that may have represented her).
     Although I support traditional religious animal sacrifice in a Celtic and Norse context I am absolutely against sacrificing or eating horses. This is a controversial topic, but my opinion on this is firm. At one time I had held a different view on this born, I must admit, out of a hesitance to judge modern cultures that still eat horses. But the reality is I can judge the practice as wrong - like eating whale, dog, or tiger - without condemning the entire culture that does it. The ritual recorded by Gerald is a main one used by modern people wanting to do horse sacrifices to defend the idea, however it should be obvious for several reasons why this ritual does not justify modern horse sacrifice. Firstly, it was rarely done, as far as the evidence we have shows, and only on the most significant of events, the crowning of a king and his marriage to the land. We have no modern equivalent to this. Secondly the ritual also involved public bestiality and bathing in the food before it was served; I hope the reasons not to do this is self-evident. Beyond this, as can be seen by the Gaulish examples of interred horse and human sacrifices, the killing of horses seems to have been viewed as an occasion of the utmost gravity, on par with offering a human life. Green theorizes that these events related to the fulfillment of battle pledges, where a warrior going to fight promised to give to the Gods all the spoils of war, including weapons, horses, and human captives in exchange for victory (Green, 1992). Just as we no longer practice human sacrifice because it goes against our social norms and morality, so too should we leave horse sacrifice in the past. Horses, like dogs, are animals that we have domesticated to work with us and as pets; they are not food. In the past our ancestors may have eaten them, but they also had far fewer options than we do; they needed to eat their domestic pets - we don't.
   I also feel strongly that it is wrong to sacrifice horses to Macha especially. In Irish myth it is almost always geis to eat the animal that represents or is connected to you; Cu Chulain has a geis against eating dog, Dairmud has a geis not to hunt the boar that is magically bound to him, and Conaire cannot hunt birds, to give some examples. Since horses are Macha's animal it follows that killing or eating them would be offensive to her. I personallt received a geis against eating horse when I became her priestess. We do not have a single example from myth or folklore of horses being sacrificed to Macha and we do have evidence that killing or eating a symbolic animal was taboo.

http://networkedblogs.com/S04ay

   There's a great group on Facebook called Pagans and Heathens for the Horses for people interested in taking a public stand against horse slaughter. You can also consider petitions like this one or this one to sign, speaking out against legalized horse slaughter in the United States.
   There are also more direct ways to help, if you feel moved to do something in honor of horses or in the name of a horse related deity. You can donate to a horse related charity such as Equus, or find a local horse rescue in your area. A friend's uncle has been giving homes to abandoned horses for years and is now struggling to feed them - if you want to help there is a page set up for donations here. If its possible you can consider finding a local stable and taking riding lessons, or just visiting to spend some time around the animals. Getting to know horses in the real world will give you a much better understanding of their importance and sacredness in the ancient world, in my opinion.

References:
O hOgain, D., (2006) The Lore of Ireland
Monaghan, P., (2004). Encyclopedia of Celtic Mythology and Folklore
Green, M., (1992). Animals in Celtic Life and Myth
Puuvel, J., (1981) "Aspects of Equine Functionality," in Analecta Indoeuropaea , pp. 188–189
Fickett-Wilbar, D (2012). Ritual Details of the Irish Horse Sacrifice in Betha Mholaise Daiminse, Retrieved from http://www.clarkriley.com/JIES4034web/04Fickett-Wilbar(315-343).pdf

Book review - Tvaer Galdraskraedur or Two Icelandic Books of Magic

  I haven't done a book review in a while, so I thought it was time to offer one. I recently read Tvaer Galdraskraedur or Two Icelandic Books of Magic, a book offered by Strandagaldr (Icelandic Musuem of Sorcery and Witchcraft). Since I very much enjoyed it I thought it would be a good choice to review.
    This is a fascinating work that is, effectively, excerpts from Icelandic grimoires. Each rune stave is shown with a short description in Icelandic and English which describes how to use it and what it does. The book itself is a consolidation of several surviving grimoires from 17th and 18th century Iceland and includes staves for a variety of things, often with multiple staves for any single purpose. These include everything from winning in court or catching a thief, to testing a woman's virginity or turning her heart to you, to casting out spirits and protecting from witchcraft. Two versions of the somewhat infamous "Fretrúnir" are given, which I was pleased to see, as they comprise one of the more interesting aspects of Icelandic rune magic. There are also several prayers listed, all thoroughly Christian, although in other sections the Norse Gods - particularly Baldr, Thor, and Odin - are invoked. There is a section which offers a variety of seals, along the lines of what one might find in a ceremonial magician's text, like the Lesser Key of Solomon. I will warn readers though that at one brief point several descriptions/prayers are translated not into English but in Latin, so if you don't speak either Icelandic or Latin you won't be able to understand what those few runestaves are for.
   The book's biggest drawback is that it does not get into the theory or history of the runestaves or runic magic, although it does briefly discuss a history of the grimoires in Iceland during the introduction. However there are other books on the market that one could buy that do get into the theory if you want that end of things. I'd recommend having at least a basic knowledge of runic magic or runestaves if your interest in this book goes beyond curiosity. That said though, the collection of staves offered is impressive and the descriptions attached to each - although short - are very interesting and include details like what materials to use, what (if any) words to say, and where to place the stave.
   This book is a good investment for anyone interested in runestaves or in the history of Iceland, as a lot can be gleaned from looking at the topics of the staves. For example, apparently people were mostly concerned with fishing, lawsuits, women, thieves, trading, evil spirits, overcoming enemies, and hexing livestock. And occasionally cursing their enemies with dysentery. For modern runic practitioners having access to such a wide collection of staves with the attendant descriptions is invaluable. Definitely worth getting a copy while they are available.

Fun with Novel Writing

Just thought I'd share: I participated in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) for the first time last November and wrote an urban fantasy novel. After a few friends read it and encouraged me to publish it I decided to go ahead and go for it. I'd been editing and revising it but, in attempting to get one of the NaNo prizes - a free hardcover - I appear to have just accidentally published my novel on Lulu. Ummm. Oops? LOL So here it is - my first ever novel http://www.lulu.com/shop/morgan-daimler/murder-between-the-worlds/paperback/product-21381405.html

Believing in Santa – a Pagan’s perspective

Today I'm linking to my blog over on Hartford FAV's http://hartfordfavs.com/2013/12/22/believing-santa-pagans-perspective/ where I discuss Santa Claus in today's world. Personally I believe Santa plays a huge role this time of year - as he should - and deserves to be honored. Of course I also think if you squint really hard he resembles a certain Norse God...

The Alfar and the Fair Folk

 I've mentioned before that the main focus of my practice are the spirits of the Otherworld and I honor both an Irish and Norse/Germanic cultural paradigm. I thought it might be helpful to explain a bit more about how those two cultures' views on both the spirits of the land and on the Otherworldly spirits are similar and different, specifically how the Norse alfar (elves) are like and unlike the Irish  daoine sidhe. I'll handle the land spirits part in a separate blog. I'd like to get into the actual comparison of the alfar and aos sidhe here; this should help illustrate how I can honor both the alfar and daoine sidhe.
   Both the Alfar and Fairy People, the daoine sidhe, are described as tall, beautiful, and shining, although in later folk stories they are also seen as looking like ordinary humans except with an Otherworldly aura about them. both were later said to have diminished in stature and are often conflated with smaller Otherworldly beings which may be called by the same name but appear distinct in folklore. The Irish use euphemisms, such as Good People, Fair Folk and Gentry when speaking of the people of the sidhe to avoid offending them and in the same way the Icelanders call the Alfar Huldufolk (hidden folk) because its believed that it offends them to be called Alfar (Sontag, 2007).
     In Ireland the daoine sidhe live in the hollow hills, mountains, and lakes; in Iceland the Huldufolk similarly live in natural features like boulders and cliffs; both cultures believe that construction which destroys a place belonging to the these beings will bring great misfortune. In the Irish it is believed that the Fair Folk live within the fairy hills but also that they make their home in the Otherworld, while the alfar similarly live in natural features but also have their own world, Ljossalfheim. Both worlds have a different flow of time that can affect those who visit.
  Both groups are known to ride out, the alfar in processions, the daoine sidhe on fairy rades, and both are connected to the Wild Hunt. Arguably the Irish Fairy Rades, encomapssing the Slua sidhe, are more dangerous, although it is never safe to cross paths with an alfar procession either. Both groups are known to ride out especially on certain days; however the Irish Fair Folk are believed to be most active on the quarter days of Beltane, Lughnasa, Samhain, and Imbolc, while the Norse alfar are most active on or around the solstices.
  In the Norse material we often see references to the Gods and Alfar (example from the Voluspa: "48. How fare the Aesir? How fare the alfar?") and in the Irish we have the phrase "deithe agus an-deithe" (Gods and not-Gods). I tend to see parallels between these two concepts, with both cultures seeming to have an idea of the Gods and the alfar/daoine sidhe as related but separate groups. this separation is more clearly defined in the Norse material than the Irish which shows a much less firm delineation between gods and daoine sidhe.
   Both the Alfar and the Aos Sidhe are intricately bound up with the dead, and it is not uncommon in stories to see the dead, especially the recently dead, among the ranks of both cultures' Otherworldly beings. In the Norse and Germanic cultures the dead might join the alfar in the mounds and conversely the alfar were believed to have many similar abilities to ghosts or spirits. In the Irish the dead often appear among the daoine sidhe, usually explained as people who did not die but were taken. In both cultures the ancient burial mounds are believed to be supernatural homes of these Otherworldly beings.
   Both groups are known to steal certain types of humans and to mix bloodlines with people. In both cases brides and newborns are considered tempting targets for abduction, but in the Norse it is also possible for a human to win their Otherworldly lover as a bride (most often) by casting iron over them (Gundarsson, 2007). In the Irish it is more likely for the human to be taken, with a changeling left behind to wither and die, although there are a few stories of men who took fairy wives, something that usually didn't end well. Both culture's hidden folk are prone to taking midwives as well, and the Norse may take wet nurses, while the Irish may also take musicians. The Irish daoine sidhe are also known to take horses, cattle, and steal a family's luck by borrowing or tricking a family member out of milk or fire from the home.
    Both the Alfar and the daoine sidhe are offered to by the common people, usually to earn their good will or to avoid strife or ill luck. In both cases milk is found as a traditional offering, although otherwise offerings can vary.  Generally offerings are left outside, usually in a place associated with the alfar, such as a boulder with a depression in it or a hill, or with the daoine sidhe, such as a fairy hill, lake, or solitary tree. A positive relationship grants blessing, luck, and prosperity. With both groups the consequences of angering or offending those powers is very similar and can include illness, madness, and death. Interestingly, while both groups have alfshot or elfshot (invisible projectiles) the Irish version are more mild, causing cramping or inexplicable pain, while the Norse version is thought to cause far more serious maladies like arthritis and cancer.
   While the gifts of the Irish daoine sidhe are often not what they appear to be in a negative way - a fistful of gold might be revealed at dawn to be worthless leaves - the gifts of the alfar go the other way, with leaves turning into gold. Generally speaking the alfar are also more generous and benign in nature than the Irish sidhe (Gundarsson, 2007). Similarly the alfar seem slightly more forgiving and more willing to overlook human faux pas than the daoine sidhe who operate with a rigid etiquette that accepts no excuses.
   Iron and rowan are good protections against both groups, although exactly how the iron is used varies slightly. The Norse also see sulphur and juniper as  good protections, while the Irish see hazel as having some protective qualities along with several other herbs, including Saint John's Wort and Mothan. There are numerous charms in both cultures to defend against these beings; in the Irish there are specialists called fairy doctors or bean feasa as well to help people afflicted by the daoine sidhe.
  The best way to get a firm grasp on the qualities of the hidden people - of either culture - is to read the mythology and folklore relating to them. While it is largely true that both groups have many things in common they also have key differences which make it clear that they may be closely related but are not identical in nature. Someone choosing a blended or syncretic approach would do well to carefully study both sides of the supernatural aisle in order to best honor these important spirits in their practice; similarly someone honoring only one culture should realize that while they have much in common they are not entirely the same and should be careful not to assume that what is acceptable or viable with one would be the same for the other.

Further reading:
  Grimm's Teutonic Mythology  http://www.northvegr.org/secondary%20sources/mythology/grimms%20teutonic%20mythology/01701.html
 Yeats' Celtic Twilight http://www.sacred-texts.com/neu/yeats/twi/twi39.htm
Briggs, Katharine (1978) The Vanishing People: Fairy Lore and Legends.
Evans-Wentz, W. Y. (1966, 1990) The Fairy-Faith in Celtic Countries.
Sontag, K (2007). Parallel worlds : fieldwork with elves, Icelanders and academics. University of Iceland. pp. 13–14.
Vincenz, M. (2009) To Be or Not to Be http://www.grapevine.is/Features/ReadArticle/Article-To-Be-or-Not-to-Be
 Gundarsson, K., (2007). Elves, Wights, and Trolls
 Kirk, R., (1893) The secret Commonwealth of Elves, Fauns, and Fairies http://www.sacred-texts.com/neu/celt/sce/index.htm
Croker, T., (1825). Fairy Legends and Traditions http://www.sacred-texts.com/neu/celt/flat/index.htm
Assorted Norse mythology http://www.sacred-texts.com/neu/ice/index.htm

What is Service?

  I've talked a couple times now about the idea of service and I've realized that maybe I need to clarify what I mean by that.
   Most people who honor the Gods and spirits* do so as the equivalent of what might be called laymen: someone whose religious activity is a part of their life but who would look to others to lead or for specialized help. Some people, in my view, end up being called by the Gods and powers to serve the role of being those leaders and specialized helpers. This is a logical process and its how most things work, really. I use a computer, but I look to a more tech savvy person when I need help with my computer, whether that's getting my pc and printer to talk to each other, removing a virus, or updating something. In the same way religious communities naturally are mostly people who are content to practice the religion without wanting the responsibility or hassle of having the specialized knowledge. Now obviously not all leaders in paganism are leaders because they are called to it by higher powers, but I do think many are.
  So, I've talked in my last blog abut how people who are called by the Gods are called to serve - what does that mean? I would say that it means to serve that God or those Gods within the community, either directly or indirectly. How this will actually work will be different based on each person's skill set, but some people may be called to be ritual leaders, some to write prayers (or books), some to teach; all iterations though on the theme - re-building the worship of that particular God, or more broadly that religion, in the world. Even the people who end up with a more reclusive approach tend to contribute to the broader community in some way, usually through their writings.
   Those who serve fill a need, one that is painfully present in our modern community - call it Deity outreach. Because someone has to do it, has to be out there rebuilding the broken connections and teaching the new generations how to interact with the Old Powers. Someone has to step up and create community; someone has to be a guide for beginners seeking something they don't fully understand; someone has to teach us how to connect to our own roots; someone has to bring back the honoring of Gods and Powers almost forgotten. And that is, I think, ultimately the types of service I see people being called to.  When the Gods find a person suited to serve their purpose they push, nudge, poke, inspire - aka call - that person to that work. It isn't fancy or glamorous, its mostly just hard work, and I often wonder why anyone would do it if they didn't feel called to do it.
   Now, having said all that in my own cynical, it-must-be-done, way, I'll add that it isn't all hard work and no play. There is plenty of joy and just plain fun in doing what needs to be done. There's moments that are absurd and ridiculous, particularly if - like me - you do much with the Fey. There are beautiful and moving experiences and there are indescribable moments of Mystery that are invaluable. The Gods are all about reciprocity; it isn't all just giving, giving, giving on our end and nothing back. I can honestly say that I would never have personally chosen to do many of the things I've done in service, but I have truly enjoyed the experiences I've had along the way and I'm glad I took the road less traveled by.

* really this could be Gods, a God, daoine sidhe, ancestors, anything like that but for simplicity here I'm just going to say "Gods" and you can switch in or out whatever specific term you want to.

Why None of Us are Special Snowflakes

This blog should probably have a blogging while ill warning label. So you've been warned.

      There's an expression in modern pagan communities: special snowflake. It's used for people who are very vocal about having a strong connection to the Gods, or who claim unusual knowledge, power, or authority or otherwise seem to be trying really hard to get attention. It's based, of course, on the idea that all snowflakes are unique while simultaneously being uniform but the special snowflake believes they deserve extra attention and praise for being themselves. In paganism there's a wide array of ways that people fall into special snowflake categories, but the one that I probably see the most often, and hence that annoys me the most, are the ones who feel that they have been called to some unique service that deserves automatic, unquestioning respect.
   You know what though? Many of us, myself included, are called to serve; service doesn't make you special, it makes you useful. The fact that people don't like to acknowledge is that we are all extremely temporary to the Gods and spirits. Our mortal lives are moments in their far broader reality. Do we have value to them? I 'm certain we do, even on an individual level, but that value is not eclipsed by their wider need to accomplish certain things and keep an eye always to greater goals. I won't ever pretend to understand the wheels within wheels of Odin's plans - I know I have a value to him and serve a purpose, but I am also keenly aware that when I am gone someone else will take my place. We are none of us special in the grand scheme of things because we are all ultimately utilitarian. We serve our purpose, either well or badly, and when we fall to time's inevitable limits the next one will come along to serve the next step. No matter how knowledgeable, how powerful, how skilled, or how well a person serves the Gods their time is limited and the importance of their power, knowledge, skill, and service in their life is not measured by how special they think they are, but by how they effect the lives of other people and how well they serve their purpose. And that, ultimately, is only truly measured and judged with time.
   Special snowflake syndrome annoys me because it distracts from the important issues. The things that matter, that we should be discussing as a community, don't revolve around cult's of personality and one individual's (or many different individuals') need for special attention. As a community we waste far too much time and energy encouraging or fighting special snowflake syndrome when we should just be ignoring it. There is so much work to be done and we need to focus on doing it, not trying to prove how much more important we are to deity X or spirit Y, or conversely that some other person isn't. If a person is actually a special friend in that way to a God or spirit then it is the God or spirit that will make it plain, not the person - that's how its always worked in mythology and folklore and I don't see any reason why the internet would change anything. In fact if one were cynical, which I clearly am today, one might point out the many prohibitions in some cultures, like the Irish, about talking or bragging about special consideration you receive from the daoine sidhe, for example, lest you lose that friendship...
   None of us are special snowflakes, and we need to stop encouraging people to try to be.

Nation Novel Writing Month

 I am doing Nation Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) this year for the first time. The past few years I have sat and watched many of my friends do it and felt rather envious of how much fun they seem to be having. All the talk of word counts and plots; even the wailing over blocks and rewrites seem like a great time. Me, I write non-fiction or on occasion poetry. I enjoy it, but its definitely more work than any kind of fun.
   This year I am going totally out of my own comfort zone and writing a novel. I haven't written fiction in almost 20 years and my own taste runs to an ultra niche genre that isn't likely to interest a huge audience. So I decided not to write it for anyone but myself; I'm doing it just for the pure joy of telling the story. I'm not worrying about how well or badly I'm doing it or whether other people will like it. I'm not planning to publish (although I think I will take it all the way through to a final draft) so I'm not writing it with an eye to marketing it or making it appealing to the public. After talking with a few friends I even stopped my own inner critic who automatically tries to write for what I think others want to read.
   So far I've found it to be an amazingly liberating experience. I'm remembering why I used to love writing, why I have so many notebooks from high school full of tediously handwritten stories. I'm telling a story I want to read, and its fun.

Celebrating Samhain

   I've blogged about this before, but several people have asked this year so here is how I celebrate Samhain:

  For my family Samhain is a three day holiday which begins on October 31st. Although I tend to favor the idea that originally the holiday was agrarian based and timed depending on environmental signals which would have brought the herds in from summer pastures, I chose a set time for convenience and so my children could look forward to the date. Since generally the four fire festivals are dated on the kalends of the month, which would make Samhain on November 1st, I start my celebration the day before and end it the day after that date.
  The first day of the holiday is dedicated to the daoine sidhe and wandering ghosts. Since we also celebrate secular Halloween with trick or treating my children give the sidhe a tithe of candy from their take at the end of the night. Porridge is offered as well, left out near the woods and I tell the kids fairy-stories. After the kids go to bed I also re-swear my oath to my Druid Order because this is the anniversary of my dedication as a Druid in White Oak.
   The second day is dedicated to the Gods. Usually an Morrighan and an Dagda, but this year I am honoring Macha and Nuada instead. As part of this I tell my children stories about the Gods or spirits and things that happened on Samhain, of which there are many to choose from in Irish myth. This year I'm planning on talking about the second battle of Moytura and the Tuatha De overcoming the Fomorians. As part of my ritual I extinguish all the candles on my altar and relight them to symbolically re-enact the Samhain fire lighting at Tlachtga. We have a small ritual feast as well, of pork and apples with seasonal vegetables, some of which is offered to the Gods, spirits, and ancestors. 
   The third and final day is for the ancestors. I light candles on my ancestor altar and tell my children stories about the family members who have passed from this life. We set an extra place at dinner and leave out a plate of food for the dead. I also often talk to my children about the turning of the seasons and the approach of winter now. We take our Halloween pumpkins and offer them to the woods to feed the deer and other wildlife. 

Patrons and Priestesshood

     Recently I was reading John Beckett's essay "Hearing the Call" and I think he raises several good points about the way that modern pagans approach the ideas of patron* deities and dedication. Obviously I can only speak about this from a more Reconstructionist-flavored viewpoint, but I do think its a valuable discussion to have. I want to say up front though that this is a topic that I'm very ambivalent about. Despite being dedicated to a Norse God and Irish Goddess, and having a relationship with the daoine sidhe that is very similar, I am not a big advocate of patronage or dedication.
   Firstly modern pagans do tend to immediately assume everyone should have a patron. One of the most common questions I see asked on discussion groups and in classes is how a person can find their patron or know who their patron is. The common perception seems to be that all pagans have patrons or are dedicated to a specific deity and that, therefore, finding and declaring yours somehow makes you more pagan. Of course that isn't true; many polytheists don't have patrons, some don't even believe in the concept, and whether one has one or not has nothing to do with how pagan a person is or isn't. 

   Secondary to this is a pervasive idea that a person's patron is simply the deity they happen to like the most or, in some cases, feel is the most impressive. I think this comes from a common misunderstanding because people who have patrons do tend to talk more about their patrons than other deities they may honor, giving an impression that their patron is their favorite deity. In this case though it isn't a case of choosing the one you liked the most, but rather that a certain one is the closest to you and so gives the impression of being a favorite. It's also not as simple as choosing your own patron in some cases, unless you are choosing one based on a career or specific activity; there are some people who choose to permanently or temporarily oath to a patron of a certain activity that they participate in, usually with a formal ritual contract. Outside of that though many people believe that you should not choose your patron they should choose you; I can say that I did not choose mine, nor was I looking for patronage of any sort. I believe that, ideally, patronage should be something that grows organically as a person develops their personal practice, rather than a matter of selecting deity x from column b. It's also important to remember that the choice to enter into patronage requires agreement on both sides. Just because you want a deity to be your patron does not mean that the deity will actually be, anymore than asking a famous person to show up at your house means they will be knocking on your door. Of course the flip side to that is sometimes you can enter into such a situation blindly or without enough thought, the deity will accept the offer, and you may regret your impetuousness.
   The reality is that polytheism does often have general patrons for trades or careers, but the idea of personal patrons is more complex. Does it happen? Yes - historically as well as now - but so often the modern view lacks the understanding of service that goes along with it. Patronage, like so many other things, is a reciprocal relationship. To have a personal patron means to be give something back to that deity. Patronage can also be either temporary or permanent, and it is generally a good idea to clearly specify which one you intend. 

    Beyond patronage, and something that is often confused or conflated with it, is dedication. To me dedication is the choice to enter into the service of a deity; in modern pagan terms this might be described as being the clergy - the priestess or priest - of that deity. In my experience many people who talk about having a patron deity are not actually talking about having a deity that is a special guide or protector, but are actually talking about being or wanting to be a priestess of that deity. It is true that patronage can and sometimes does evolve into dedication, and perhaps this contributes to the confusion between the two, but whereas patronage (in my opinion) is like having a good friend among many casual friends, dedication is like joining the military, at least in as much as you are turning part of your life over to the service of that deity. 

    Being dedicated to Macha, and Odin, makes my life very very complicated and means that I serve their purpose as best I can. Being dedicated to a deity on a personal level, to me, means acting as clergy for that deity, especially. It means making offerings, conducting rituals, prayers, and generally being willing to fill whatever role ultimately serves that deity. I have done many, many things in service I never would have done otherwise, from writing and teaching certain subjects, to officiating weddings and founding groups, to helping total strangers. Service has been about literal blood, sweat, and tears at times. Its part of being a Druid in my opinion, beyond serving the community as clergy, but it isn't simple or easy. Its not something to choose lightly and it changes you. There's a price to be paid, and its hard to understand what that price will be until you are living it. I don't think its possible to fully understand what it means to be dedicated (just like you can't know what its like to join the military) until you're on the other side of it. Its always, at best, a leap of faith. Some people take that leap with as much preparation as possible. Others do it on a whim. The one's motivated by whim baffle me, in a way, especially when its purely human motivation - no "calling" from the God, the person just decides it's super cool - because whatever the motivation is the offer can be accepted. And sometimes it is. 

 Quite frankly I don't know why anyone would want to do it, except that obviously it has to be done. The idea that its glamorous or makes a personal special (or should I say Speshul?) just strikes me as ridiculous. I am not special; I am utilitarian, serving a purpose in the world. It's work, and the work never ends.

   

*Patron: 1 a :  a person chosen, named, or honored as a special guardian, protector, or supporter http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/patron This is the definition most closely in line with the modern pagan usage of the term; a deity who is believed to have a special connection to a person through the person's dedication or oath which forms a reciprocal relationship

Faith

  I was reading a blog by Nimue Brown that discusses uncertainty, something which for me is the only constant. I believe that the quest for truth, the search for spirituality, is always a matter of questions and not answers. I don't mean so much the experiential side of it, which is a solid thing to me, but the philosophical side, the questions we ask that can never be answered except with guesses and theories. I know my Gods exist, but I will never have certainty that Nuada is Elcmar, for example, or whether Odin really is Wodan. I have my own imbas about these things, but there is that endless thread of uncertainty that keeps my belief flexible instead of fixed. There are some things which are rock solid, but everything else is a matter of faith and perpetual questioning.
  Reading Nimue's words reminded me of a poem I wrote almost 10 years ago, which I'd like to share.
   Faith
My inconstant heart yearns
for the solidity of truth
for firm ground beneath me
What seems certain today
I doubt tomorrow
and yet I long to believe
I search for light in the dark
but see nothing except shadows
Where is the sure path to follow?
where is the clear truth to believe?
I have faith that these things exist
yet all my evidence is faithless,
I tear to shreds my own belief
yet cannot stop believing