How I Became an Author

I was asked the other day to share the story of how I became an author, so today that's what I'm going to talk about.

I'll be the first person to admit I never thought this is what I'd be doing at this point in my life, although I can't say its entirely a shock either. When I was in high school I co-wrote an unfinished book with a friend and I was always writing poetry. But it's also true that writing and reading have never come easily for me and the idea of making a career of it wouldn't have been my first thought.

I am severely dyslexic as well as dyscalculaic; I didn't learn to read until I was in second grade, after years of special classes. It would be fair to say that my initial experience with the public school system was difficult and there were other bumps in the road as I went along. Once I did learn to read I very much enjoyed the ability to lose myself in other worlds and to learn from diverse sources, but writing, particularly spelling, never ceased to be a challenge. I don't know how to explain what its like to someone who isn't dyslexic but part of the challenge is that when I make an error no matter how many times I re-read the sentence or word I may not see the mistake. The only way I know to compensate for this issue is to proof read everything dozens of times (including books) and even then there will still be mistakes in them.

So perhaps you can see why if you'd asked me years ago if I thought I'd ever be an author I would have said no. Its not that I didn't think I could tell a good story or had anything valuable to say, but I am aware of the learning disability that I live with and how it effects my ability to communicate in writing.

Two things happened though which set me on the path of public writing. Firstly I was in a position where I was not writing everything by hand anymore (which I had done previously) and instead I was typing on a computer which offered spellcheck services that helped me greatly. Secondly I was a member of a Druid Order in the late 2000's which required dedicants to complete a project to become Druids. My project was to repaganize sections of the Carmina Gadelica, and my mentor for the project, Ellen Evert Hopman, suggested that the finished project would be valuable to put out as a book so that other people could also use it. I had never thought to do something like that before but self-publishing at that point in time made it feasible. And so I did it, realising a small book of repaganized prayers. I was so inspired by the project itself that I went on to do another selection from the same source this time aimed at charms as well as prayers; this was also released as a small book and then the two were combined into an omnibus edition.

I was emboldened by this writing success to begin a blog, this blog, as a resource for the community. I envisioned it as a place to share research I was doing and to offer good sources for people as well as just to share my thoughts on things. Its undergone different changes over the last 6 years, but I do hope that it has at least provided a resource for people, if nothing else.

In all honesty that probably would have been the end of it  - I had no further ambition beyond occasionally submitting poetry to magazines or anthologies - but shortly afterwards I was approached by small publisher through a friend because they were looking for someone to write a children's book on the Fairy Faith. It was my first publishing contract for a book. Not too long after that I had the idea, inspired by a book by Cat Treadwell, to use my blog material as the basis for a book. I put it all together and submitted it to a newer (at the time) imprint called Moon Books. Why Moon? Several reasons, including that I had friends who wrote for them at the time and that I liked the ease of their submission process online. My first full length non-fiction book came out of that, Where the Hawthorn Grows, which is a look at my thoughts on Druidism* and being a Druid in America. From there of course I have written other titles for Moon, and I found that I not only enjoyed writing but seemed to be good at it. I currently have seven books out with Moon, two more forthcoming in the next six months and three more under contract.

Once again though, it probably would have stayed with non-fiction if not for another friend and a conversation. I hadn't written fiction since high school but I had seen several friends on social media talking about doing National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo or NaNo) in November and I kept thinking it looked like fun. I am always coming up with stories in my head but I had never written any of them down, at least not since the 90's. But I was talking with my friend Catherine Kane in 2012 about a NaNo project she was doing that ended up as a published novel 'The Land that Lies Between'** and when I mentioned having some NaNo envy she strongly urged me to try participating just for fun. In 2013 I did give it a try and I quickly realized that I genuinely love writing fiction, specifically urban fantasy, and to my surprise what was supposed to be a project just for fun took on a life of its own. I had taken to posting little plot summaries and word counts on my social media as a motivator to hit my goal and 'win' NaNo and I had several people asking me when they could read the finished book. This led to a brief attempt to find an agent (lots of very polite responses saying they liked it but weren't interested) and then to submit to a trade publisher. I was offered a contract on the first book, but I decided to self publish because they wanted me to re-write something in the book which was intentionally being left a mystery and because I knew at that point it was meant to be at least a trilogy and I was afraid if it didn't sell well the other books wouldn't see print. I am really glad I chose to self publish my fiction as its given me the freedom to write the series up to book #6 and to release new books on my own schedule.

I never planned to be an author but writing is something I really enjoy doing. I seem to be reasonably good at it, and I hope that my work on both my blogs and my books has been useful to people. I used to say, after each book, that I felt like that would be my last one and I wouldn't write anything else but I think at this point I will write until I feel like I have nothing else to add and no more stories to tell.


*I don't actually consider myself a Druid anymore, as my path has diverged from there and returned to focusing solely on witchcraft, however I will say that I still think Hawthorn is a good book.
**I highly recommend it by the way if you enjoy urban fantasy that is light and fun to read.

Fairy Resource List

When it comes to studying fairy beliefs and trying to learn about fairies finding good resources can be real challenge. I've offered suggested reading lists before but this time I wanted to take a more multi-media approach. This is only a small list of suggestions, as a truly comprehensive one would take more space than I could fit in a blog.

Non-Fiction Books:
There are a lot of non-fiction books out there about fairies and many are best avoided, quite frankly. Some though are solid resources and worth reading.
A Dictionary of Fairies by Katherine Briggs - really anything by Katherine Briggs is good as she was an eminent folklorist of her time. This book is my choice to recommend because its one of my go-to's and is easy to use due its format.
The Good People: New Fairylore Essays edited by Peter Narvaez - a collection of more recent essays on the subject of fairylore from different Celtic countries, including a lot of anecdotal evidence. A modern version of 'The Fairy Faith in Celtic Countries'.
A Practical Guide to Irish Spirituality: Sli Aon Dhraoi by Lora O’Brien – a great overall introduction to modern Irish paganism that includes some good discussion on the Othercrowd. I’d also recommend the author’s older book, “Irish Witchcraft from an Irish Witch”
Fairy and Folktales of the Irish Peasantry by W. B. Yeats – a look at folklore and belief, especially fairylore.
The Gaelic Otherworld by John Campbell – an overview of Scottish folk beliefs and folk lore
The Fairy Faith in Celtic Countries by W. Y. Evans Wentz – the classic text on the Fairy Faith its a bit dated at this point having come out in 1911 but it includes fairy beliefs from a wide array of Celtic cultures.
Faeries by Brian Froud and Alan Lee – excellent artwork and some great tidbits of folklore sprinkled in
Elves, Wights and Trolls by Kveldulfr Gundarson – a look at Norse and German fairy beliefs and some comparison with the Celtic beliefs. Very useful for looking at how different closely related cultures viewed their fairies.
The Secret Commonwealth of Elves, Fauns and Fairies by reverend Robert Kirk – written in the 17th century its a short but fascinating look at traditional Scottish fairy beliefs
The Secret Commonwealth and the Fairy Belief Complex by Brian Walsh – a review and analysis of rev Kirk’s book but extremely insightful and should be read in addition to Kirk’s book for its commentary on beliefs about fairies
Meeting the Other Crowd by Eddie Lenihan and Carolyn Green – excellent book on Irish fairy lore


Fiction:
Most fiction that is based around fairies don't make a good resource here, for obvious reasons - its fiction. It was written by someone wanting to tell a good story not for the purpose of passing on actual belief or folklore. As much as we might like to think that fiction authors are actually inspired by real fairies or trying to tell a true story, much of the fairy fiction on the market is vastly at odds with traditional folklore. There are however some that are closer to traditional lore, and so I'm listing those here as resources.
The Faery Sworn Series by Ron Nieto - a trilogy about the granddaughter of a Fairy Doctor in Scotland who teams up with a kelpie to find her grandmother when she goes missing.
The Knowing by Kevin Manwaring - a story that builds off of the life and disappearance of rev. Robert Kirk.
Good Fairies of New York by Martin Miller - a bit whimsical but also gritty. Story about Celtic fairies coming to New York and those already there, how their lives collide with several humans.
Lords and Ladies by Terry Pratchett - part of Pratchett's Discworld series, and in fairness his other books are also good, but this one is my particular favorite for fairylore.


Youtube:
Ah Youtube. There's some really interesting stuff on there. Here's a couple videos I'd recommend
The Fairy Faith - a documentary that looks at fairy beliefs and anecdotes in America, Ireland, and the UK
Irish Fairylore: An Interview with Folklorist Dr. Jenny Butler - a great interview with someone who knows the subject well from an academic perspective
Folklore Collections by Michael Fortune - Michael Fortune is a treasure; he has spent time and effort recording interviews with people about their beliefs in different parts of Ireland.
Eddie Lenihan - there are a few videos of Eddie Lenihan on youtube and I highly recommend them. He is an amazing storyteller and very knowledgeable

Vimeo:
Not on youtube but really, really worth watching is the kin fables series on Vimeo.

Television and Movies:
Secret of Roan Inish - a movie about a family's multi-generational relationship with selkies, called rón in Irish.
The Spiderwick Chronicles - aimed at a very young audience, but seems to capture the idea of some traditional fairies
Pan's Labyrinth - fairly accurate, although very grim, depiction of fairies
Labyrinth - more lighthearted but truer to older folklore. A story of a girl trying to regain her baby brother from goblins; reminiscent of old changeling stories.

Online Morrigan Resources

I often see people asking for recommendations for online accessible resources for the Morrigan, so I thought today I'd offer my personal suggestions. None of these are necessarily blanket endorsements but these are resources that can be found online, are free, and are worth reading. As with anything else in life remember to use critical thinking and to keep in mind that on this subject there can be a variety of opinions.

Dissertations and Papers - There are some great academic works out there on the Morrigan worth checking out. There are also some that I don't entirely agree with but still recommend because they add important layers to any discussion about this complex deity/deities.

1. War-goddesses, furies and scald crows: The use of the word badb in early Irish literature by Kim Heidja  
2. The 'Mast' of Macha: The Celtic Irish and the War Goddess of Ireland by Catherine Mowat
3. War Goddess: The Morrigan and Her Germano-Celtic Counterparts by Angelique Gulermovich Epstein
4. Demonology, allegory and translation: the Furies and the Morrigan by Michael Clarke
5. The ‘Terror of the Night’ and the Morrígain: Shifting Faces of the Supernatural. - by Jacqueline Borsje 

Blogs - There are a lot of people who blog about the Morrigan these days and I will admit my own suggestions will be limited to people I know, and read regularly. I don't go out looking around for new Morrigan bloggers because I just don't have time. You'll also note this only includes written blogs, which isn't an intentional snub to vloggers or youtbers just a reflection that I hardly ever have time to watch videos on my pc so I can't recommend them (since I haven't really watched many).

1. Call of the Morrigan: A Community Blog for the Great Queen - a great community based blog that offers a variety of views and opinions by different authors
2. Dark Goddess Musings - the blog of author Stephanie Woodfield. Not updated regularly, but has interesting content
3. Lora O'Brien - Author and Freelance Writer - what it says on the tin. Not Morrigan specific but there are Morrigan posts to be found and Lora's writing is always good and worth reading. Lora also offers paid courses on the Morrigan and several other related topics that I highly recommend.
4. Under the Ancient Oaks - the blog of Druid and author John Beckett. Not Morrigan exclusive either but she is a frequent topic. 

Websites - An assortment of Morrigan related websites out there that I am aware of and whose content is generally reliable

1. Scath na Feannoige - Morrigan content and content focused on the warrior path. Some free and some paid access, but excellent material. 
2. Mary Jones Celtic Literature Collective - as advertised, a resource for all things Celtic. your best source for myths on the Morrigan (in the Irish lit section) and also offering an encyclopedia section
3. Story Archaeology - A great resource for newer translations of the myths and discussion of the stories in context. if you search the site/podcast you'll find multiple results relating to the Morrigan 
4. Coru Cathubodua - a site by a group dedicated to the Morrigan, with articles and a resource list 

Artwork - Some of my personal favorite sources for Morrigan artwork I like. Your mileage may vary. These are not free - obviously - but I can't list Morrigan resources without including them

1. the Ever Living Ones, art of Jane Brideson 
2. Lindowyn @ Deviantart, art of Ashley Bryner
3. Gemma Zoe Jones
4. Dryad Design - statuary and jewelry by Paul Borda 

Music - We can't forget about music, after all! Its a great resource and a great way to feel connected

1. Omnia 'Morrigan'  (or this slower version)

     2. Darkest Era 'The Morrigan'

     3. Cruachan 'The Brown Bull of Cooley'
     4. Cruchan 'The Morrigan's Call'

     5. Heather Dale 'the Morrigan'

      6. Mama Gina 'Ruby' 

Books - I should probably mention here that generally I am not aware of any decent books on the Morrigan, specifically, that are available free online. You can access some older public domain works including Hennessey's 'War Goddess' on Sacred Texts but books that old have issues with some seriously outdated scholarship and need to be read with a big grain of salt. They are worth reading with some critical thinking and discernment but I wouldn't give them a blanket recommendation

Cliodhna: Goddess and Fairy Queen

The Following is an Excerpt from my book Pagan Portals Gods and Goddesses of Ireland

Cliodhna -
Cliodhna, also known as Clíona, is considered both one of the Tuatha Dé Danann in older mythology and a Fairy Queen in modern folk lore. Her name may mean ‘the territorial one’, likely reflecting her earlier role as a sovereignty Goddess; her epithet is Ceannfhionn (fair headed or fair haired) and she is sometimes called ‘the shapely one’1. In many stories she is described as
exceptionally beautiful.

Her sister is said to be Aibheall, and her father is Gebann, the Druid of Manannán mac Lir2. There are no references to who her mother might be or to her children among the Gods. Several mortal families trace their descent from her including the McCarthys and O’Keefes and she was well known for taking mortal lovers.

Cliodhna is said to have taken the form of a wren, a bird that may be associated with her, and she is also often associated with the Otherworldly Bean sidhe. By some accounts she herself is considered to be such a spirit, or their queen, although in other folklore she is more generally the queen of the fairies of Munster. She has three magical birds that eat Otherworldly apples and have the power to lull people to sleep by singing and then heal them3.

She is strongly associated with the shore and with waves, and the tide at Glandore in Cork was called the ‘Wave of Cliodhna’4. In several of her stories she is drowned at that same location after leaving the Otherworld either to try to woo Aengus or after running away with a warrior named Ciabhán. She has a reputation in many stories for her passionate nature and love of poets in particular, and in later folklore when she is considered a Fairy Queen she is known to abduct handsome young poets or to appear and try to seduce them. In folklore she has a reputation for seducing and drowning young men5.

Cliodhna is particularly associated with the province of Munster and especially with Cork, where she resides at a place called Carraig Chlíona (Cliodhna’s rock)6. It is likely that she was originally one of the sovereignty Goddesses of Munster and that her survival in folklore to the present period reflects how deeply ingrained she was in local lore.

Modern practitioners may choose to honor Cliodhna for her role as a sovereignty Goddess or as an ancestral deity related to specific families. I might suggest, given her more recent folklore related to the Bean sidhe and her penchant in stories for harming young men and poets, that she should be approached with caution. Offerings to her could include the traditional milk or bread given to the Gods and fairies, as well as poetry, of which she seems fond.

Citations
1. O hOgain, 2006; MacKillop, 1998
2. Smyth, 1988; MacKillop, 1998
3. ibid
4. O hOgain, 2006
5. Smyth, 1988
6. O hOgain, 2006


References
O hOgain, D., (2006) Lore of Ireland
Smyth, D., (1988) Irish Mythology
MacKillop, J., (1998) A Dictionary of Celtic Mythology

Reshaped Living: Food and Drink ~ An Excerpt from my WIP

 I have recently signed a contract for a new book, a third in my Fairycraft series, and for today's blog I wanted to offer an excerpt from the draft,to give people a taste of where this one is going. It's much more personal than the others, and while it does quote sources and include the usual references (I am the one writing it after all) it also offers insight into the deeper layers of my own practice, specifically with the Othercrowd.

local apples, 2012

Reshaped Living: Food and Drink

As I moved deeper into working with the beings of the Otherworld I hadn't expected the way that it would impact unexpected  parts of my life. I suppose I assumed that as I learned and moved deeper into the work I was doing there would be a cost but it would be something straightforward like blood or physical effort; and certainly there has been that too. But I didn't expect the way that Themselves would come in and start re-shaping my life in practical ways, including what I could eat and drink and things I could or could not do.

There's something really, deeply alienating in this, or at least I found it so. It's hard enough to start with being on a spiritual path that many people don't understand, that is disconnected from mainstream modern paganism because of its emphasis on traditional folklore and beliefs. When you add in a variety of restrictions in how you have to live, particularly with the diet for me as I already had a few food allergies going on, it ends up making a person feel very at odds with the rest of the world. I'm also a stubborn person and I fight hard against the urge to resist when I am told not to do things.

I can't eat most processed foods (think frozen dinners and dried fruits, for example) or breads, pasta, or cereal (because of additives I have issues with). Outside of that though I was good, and my preferred diet before was heavily weighted towards coffee, soda, and convenience foods. So when the specific Good People who I deal with told me, about 5 years ago now, that I needed to change that entirely and focus on fresh fruits and vegetables, dairy, limited white meats and fish, nuts, drink water and fruit juice, and cut out all caffeine I was not thrilled. This represented a seismic shift for me, especially the caffeine.

Here's the thing though, about getting into this sort of spirituality. If you choose to do this kind of work then there's an understanding that you are agreeing to all the terms, including the ones that haven't been specified beforehand. And if you try to get around something they are emphasizing as important, often enough, they may give you a bit of time to toe the line voluntarily then they will step in and influence things themselves. Case in point - the caffeine. I fully admit to being a coffee addict and I don't say that lightly. When the no caffeine edict came down I was not happy, and initially I really struggled with it. It took me years to cut out caffeinated soda, and then I found myself stuck on coffee. Finally I reluctantly switched to decaf. And then, I suppose predictably, I began drinking a half dozen cups or more of decaf a day, defeating the entire purpose of it since decaf coffee does have some caffeine. So one Bealtaine morning when I poured my usual cup and added the cream, the cream disappeared; stirring it revealed that the in-date, unspoiled cream had curdled and was massed in a lump at the bottom of the cup. Not to be daunted - or to take a hint - I poured a fresh cup and added milk. It curdled as soon as it hit the surface. And I admitted defeat. I haven't touched a drop of coffee since, although I still crave it.

Initially I had no frame of reference for any of this outside of my own personal gnosis, nothing except the knowledge that they wanted certain things done or not done. Finally though I ran across this in a book by Yeats, and it made me feel less unusual in what was being asked of me:

“Those we speak of have for their friends the trooping fairies--the gay and sociable populace of raths and caves....The fairies are, of course, visible to them, and many a new-built house have they bid the owner pull down because it lay on the fairies' road. Lady Wilde thus describes one who lived in Innis Sark:--"He never touched beer, spirits, or meat in all his life, but has lived entirely on bread, fruit. and vegetables. A man who knew him thus describes him--'Winter and summer his dress is the same--merely a flannel shirt and coat. He will pay his share at a feast, but neither eats nor drinks of the food and drink set before him. He speaks no English, and never could be made to learn the English tongue, though he says it might be used with great effect to curse one's enemy. He holds a burial-ground sacred, and would not carry away so much as a leaf of ivy from a grave. And he maintains that the people are right to keep to their ancient usages, such as never to dig a grave on a Monday, and to carry the coffin three times round the grave, following the course of the sun, for then the dead rest in peace...."

-      ‘Witches, Fairy Doctors’ Fairy and Folk Tales of the Irish Peasantry Edited by W. B. Yeats [1888]

Reading this passage was very important for me because, above all, it made me feel less alone and at odds. Here was a historic account of someone who died long before I was born, but their life as it's described here resonated with me. Not every detail, of course - I eat some meat and don't eat bread, for one thing - but the broad strokes really spoke to me. I don't drink alcohol, as a rule, and my wardrobe is rather monochromatic, as it were. Despite the pressure of modern magical ways it's the older practices that speak to me, and about which I find myself compelled to speak out. And of course there's the bit about seeing the Daoine Uaisle, who I certainly try to stay on friendly terms with, for my part.

For a long time I didn't talk about these things, especially the diet, except to a very few people, not only because it seemed an awkward thing to discuss but also because I felt like they were such strange things to have restrictions on. Reading this as well as a chapter in the book 'Trojan Feast' that touched on people's food intersecting with non-human beings and seeing that other people who were connected to the Good People had also historically been known to have restrictions, or to live in ways that were at odds with those around them, even if there's no direct indication it was at Their direction, made me feel better.

I also want to be clear that while these dietary things may have some health benefits - particularly given how unhealthy American processed foods are - that was not the reason behind them, at least not for me. I have never had a sense that the Gentry were particularly concerned with my physical well being, unless I was doing things that actively and immediately harmed myself and then they were always pretty clear that I needed to stop for that reason. What their motivation was in asking me to eat or not eat certain things wasn't initially clear, although I began to suspect it had to do with getting me into a more, shall we say, psychically receptive state? This suspicion would later be reinforced after talking with a couple friends.

A friend at one point had mentioned that my diet as it was being shaped was strongly reminiscent of a Sattvic diet, an approach to eating found in the Ayurvedic system. A traditional Sattvic diet, broadly speaking, includes fruit and fruit juice, above ground vegetables and carrots, nuts, seeds, dairy products, honey, and grains (Cutchin, 2015). Not knowing anything about the subject I asked another friend who was fairly knowledgeable about it and he not only agreed with my first friend's suspicion but mentioned that Sattvic diets are often used by people seeking higher spiritual states because they open a person up to connecting more easily to spiritual energy (I'm paraphrasing here). This idea was echoed in a book I read recently, 'A Trojan Feast' which discusses in one section the Sattvic diet, its odd and apparently unconscious predominance among modern people who experience contact with non-human beings, and its reputed ability to raise psychic awareness or clairvoyance (Cutchins, 2015). I am by no means claiming that my food do's and don't's are Sattvic, as I do not follow nor know very much about Ayurveda, however I did find the connection interesting. Cutchins suggested that there may be a connection between the concept of sattva and its emphasis on freshness in food and the idea of the toradh or foyson, the essence, of food that the Good Folk were reputed to consume when given food offerings. By his theory it is the toradh of food that can be equated to its Sattvic quality, making this diet perhaps the closest to what one might hypothesize the Daoine Maithe themselves might consume.

I cannot say that like Lady Wilde's friend of the fairies I have had these preferences all my life, or that from childhood I was guided to seek out or avoid certain foods. But for the last five years or so, as I have stopped resisting the growing dominance of the Good People in my life and have instead embraced it, I can say with certainty that their influence has touched on unexpected areas, including my diet. This has been a hard change, and I fully admit that I fight against it as often as I go along with it, but ultimately I do think there is a purpose to it, and that the purpose has value not only to Themselves but also - I hope - to me.

References:
Yeats, W., (1888). Fairy and Folktales of the Irish Peasantry
Cutchin, J., (2015). A Trojan Feast

The Morrigan's Call Retreat 2017

Last weekend was the 4th annual Morrigan's Call Retreat in Connecticut, an event that I have participated in since its inception. Founded by Stephanie Woodfield and Morrigu's Daughters the Retreat offers people a chance to get together and honor the Great Queen(s). It has always been somewhat unique in that its purpose is so specific to one group of deities - the Morrigan and her sisters, Badb and Macha. I've mentioned before, in my previous blogs on the Retreat, that one of the things I love the most about it is the inclusiveness of different spiritual points of view and paths; whether someone sees the Gods as archetypes or as individual beings, whether a person is Wiccan, or pagan or polytheist, all are welcome, provided they are willing to abide by the Retreat's ground rules and respect each other.

the river on camp grounds

The support staff and teachers arrived the day before the Retreat began, on Thursday. This gave us time to get settled in and get a feel for the place before the Retreat participants begin arriving, and I really like that. It also meant time to get the area cleansed and warded, the temple set up and blessed, and this year to have a ritual with the staff group before the full-on Retreat began. 

This year my friend and I were in the same cabin we'd been in two years ago, which I was happy about because, while its a hike to the main area and bathrooms, its right next to the river. We also lucked out with who our two cabin mates were (Peppermint cabin for the win!). The area we were in is at the edges of the activity, but feels closer to the heart of nature, and that's where I'd rather be. I love that little river and after several years of coming to that location it felt like seeing an old friend again. We settled in and then ventured out to say hello to everyone. There were some new faces this year, and a few missing from past years, but many, many familiar faces. The ritual Thursday night was low-key but moving.

Ritual fire

Day 1:

The first official day of Retreat began early for me, but I wasn't the only early riser. Its hectic on the first day, of course, because people are coming in and setting up throughout the day, but it was a good kind of hectic. Just as many of the support staff have returned to help out year after year, so too we have many people who travel to join the Retreat year after year and it makes me happy to see people that I only see once a year at this gathering. We had people coming in from the west coast and up from Florida, and we had people who joined us from Canada, and that's always a wonderful thing to see as well, the way that this event gathers people together from thousands of miles away, as much as from neighboring towns and states.  

I taught a class in the afternoon called Meeting the Morrigans. I have taught this at every Retreat since the first one, and it makes a good way to start things off, offering a basis for people who may have only a minimal (or no) knowledge of the Morrigans' history and myth. Our viewpoints and understandings of the Morrigan may vary widely, but the mythology is something that can be a touchstone for everyone, a way to connect us all together as we seek to better connect to and understand the Morrigan, Badb, and Macha. 

The rituals at this year's Retreat were slightly different than in the previous years. In the first three years one person designed all of the rituals and each one connected to the others, like a story arch, so that the three rituals become a journey in themselves for people. While that could offer some amazing connections and experiences, it also meant that it was problematic if anyone missed a ritual. So this year, instead, each ritual was designed by different people and was a stand alone. The ritual for Friday night was based on the idea of 9 different faces of the Morrigan and participants choosing one of these faces/aspects to take a message from (the messages were written on a piece of paper). I had the role of Morrigan of the Sidhe, and my message related to seeing both the dark and the light within the Fairy Queen. 

Another thing that was different this year was that we were offering oracle times in the temple. This was a period of a few hours set aside each day where a person who was experienced in channeling work would be in the temple space for anyone who may have questions or want a message. The person seeking to enter would be cleansed with smoke, then challenged before entering, then guided back to the person acting as oracle. Since I have been doing oracle work for over a decade I volunteered to serve in the temple as needed, which meant taking a shift each day it was offered. I admit that I underestimated how difficult that would be to do for extended periods of time, three days in a row, on top of everything else I was doing but since it seems to have been a valuable service to the community (based on people's comments later) I am glad that I chose to do it. 

Day 2:

I woke up painfully early Saturday morning, but there was a silver lining - while I was wandering around killing time before breakfast I ran into Segomâros Widugeni, one of my favorite humans and an all around interesting person to talk to. Which led to an hour and a half long conversation about everything from Gaulish deity names to the possible influences of Neolithic Irish pagan beliefs on the Irish Celts. I had an absolute blast talking to him, because it isn't often I can let myself full on nerd-out about my interests without feeling like I am horribly boring whoever is stuck talking to me. I think we could have talked for hours more, but as it was bacon is a prime motivator and breakfast called. 

Immediately after breakfast I had a class on dealing with non-human spirits. It was scheduled in the smaller pavilion but it was quickly apparent that, 9 am or not, there were going to be more people than would fit in the space. So in true 'Celtic' fashion we raided the neighboring territory, otherwise known as taking over the larger pavilion (in fairness it was empty as mine was the only class that early). It was a fun class to teach, based on a blog I wrote last year, and hopefully it helped people get at least the basics of what is needed to safely deal with non-human spirits. 

up at 4:30 am on Saturday, admiring the full moon as he hovered just above the trees

My second class that day - and my final one at the Retreat - was 'Geasa, Buada, and Oaths' which discussed what exactly all of those things were in an Irish context, why they were significant to the iron age Irish, and ways that they may still be important today. We spent most of the time discussing geasa, but that probably wasn't a bad thing since its such a hefty topic. I also wanted to offer lots of examples of geasa, how they were acquired, and what happened when they were broken, and that takes time. 

The ritual for Saturday was centered on Macha, featuring the five different Machas that appear in mythology (probably to no one's surprise I had the role of Macha of the sidhe). In the ritual I told the story of Macha, wife of Nemed, and how she cleared the plains, and we as a collective group of ritual particpiants built a small cairn representing our desire to build community in the Morrigan's honor. This was my favorite ritual, and I really hope that other people got as much out of it as I did. 

After ritual there was dinner, conversation, and generally great fellowship. One thing I love about the Retreat is that it offers an opportunity to connect and reconnect with such amazing people. This year there was a lot of laughter and tears, and both felt needed and good. This year I also witnessed someone's personal dedication to the Morrigan in a small private ceremony in the Temple; last year I was honored to help facilitate a baby blessing and I loved that this year we had a dedication ceremony. It makes me feel like in some small way we really are building a community, transient and ephemeral as it may be. Saturday night ended with more time working as an oracle in the temple and then hanging out with some friends.

community built cairn

Day 3:
Sunday, the final day, was really bittersweet this year. It seemed like the time had flown by and suddenly we were in the closing hours. I had oracle duty right after breakfast, and when that was done, in all honesty, I was pretty wiped out and decided to go sit and just relax for a bit. Sunday was also the hottest day of the four, getting into the 90's, and between the two things I chose to sit out the final ritual (the one I wasn't in), which was dedicated to Badb. I feel some guilt for missing it, but on the other hand I'm fairly sure I'd have passed out standing in the sun for it so I think it was probably the better choice. Someone going face first into the turf (or river) is not the way to end a great Retreat. Instead I bartered several of my books for a massage from the fabulous massage therapist onsite, because people keep telling me how great this whole self care thing is supposed to be.

I spent the final day then simply being with people, talking to anyone who wandered by where I was sitting in the main hall and wanted to talk. I am an introvert by nature, and I usually feel really socially awkward in the best of circumstances but by Sunday I had hit that zone where I was actually feeling comfortable - or maybe delirious. People who had lingering questions from my workshops, people who had random questions that they thought I might be able to answer, and people who just wanted to chat; friends and new faces. I even got over my own self-consciousness enough to ask my friends for pictures of us together before we all left. In retrospect it seems like the perfect note to end on; fellowship and friendship.

Another view of the river

The Morrigan's Call Retreat has become a touchstone of my year, and a cornerstone of my public practice as a priest/ess. I came into it this year deeply uncertain about many things, as my own spiritual path has undergone so many changes since Ireland. Yet only once in all of it did I feel strongly prohibited from participating in something, and the Macha ritual especially was deeply meaningful to me. There was a lot of silliness right alongside the deep devotion, spontaneous song parodies as much as serious in ritual singing. There was as much fun as there was effort, as much of a feeling of blessings as of work. I came in wondering if this was something I was meant  to continue doing, as I move away from so many public things and into a more solitary and private practice. What I found here this year was amazing conversations with people that I feel truly honored to know, a sense of intersectionality that I badly needed to be reminded of - and with it a feeling of acceptance and belonging that I hadn't even realized I needed to feel - and a reminder that there is value in community building, even when it feels painfully hard. I found magic and mystery in the smell of peppermint. I heard Her voice in the morning song of the river and of crows. And most of all I saw people coming together in Her name and building, stone by stone, the hope of what honoring Her in community can be.

pre-ritual selfie

Plans for 2018; Ireland and Iceland

I've had a lot going on lately, some of which I've written about here. One thing I think I haven't discussed yet is that next year is going to be a big travel year for me; I'm not planning to do many events or conferences but I do have two bigger trips planned.

The first, 'Bealtaine; Kindling the Flame of Devotion', will be happening in April and May of 2018. It's a sacred sites tour of southwest Ireland which I am doing with Stephanie Woodfield and Land Sea Sky Travel. I'm very excited to be teaming up with them again after our Morrigan Sacred Sites tour which went so well in 2016. We'll be going to the Burren, Lough Gur, and the area around the Beara Peninsula and we have some fun things planned to celebrate Bealtaine while we are there. We are also fortunate enough to have Lora O'Brien as our guide for part of the trip, which will offer people an amazing chance to learn from Lora in person. And for this trip we are offering a special scholarship opportunity for people who might not otherwise be able to go on the trip.

I'm very excited to be going back to Ireland again, and especially to have a chance to visit the southwest, an area that doesn't get as much sacred sites tourist attention as other areas seem to. There is a lot of rich mythology in that area, particularly relating to Goibhniu and the Cailleach, but we also see a range of stories about other deities and about many of the daoine sidhe.

Later in September of 2018 I'll be hopping a plane again, this time to go to Iceland, which will be a first for me. I'm teaming up with the always amazing Land Sea Sky travel and the fabulous Cat Heath to present 'Hiddenfolk, Witches, & Elves: A Pagan Pilgrimage Through Iceland's Magical Landscape'. I have long been fascinated by the folklore and mythology of Iceland, and my own approach to Heathenry is decidedly Alfatru based so I'm really looking forward to getting to see and feel the land there. I've known other people who have gone to Iceland on trips but I'm not aware of any other Sacred Sites tours so I can't wait to experience everything there.

2018 is going to be a busy year for me, but I'm looking forward to it. As someone who has never before done much international travelling having two trips like this seems like a rare and wonderful opportunity and I intend to make the most of it. I'll certainly write about my experiences here on my blog.