The Morrigan's Call Retreat 2017

Last weekend was the 4th annual Morrigan's Call Retreat in Connecticut, an event that I have participated in since its inception. Founded by Stephanie Woodfield and Morrigu's Daughters the Retreat offers people a chance to get together and honor the Great Queen(s). It has always been somewhat unique in that its purpose is so specific to one group of deities - the Morrigan and her sisters, Badb and Macha. I've mentioned before, in my previous blogs on the Retreat, that one of the things I love the most about it is the inclusiveness of different spiritual points of view and paths; whether someone sees the Gods as archetypes or as individual beings, whether a person is Wiccan, or pagan or polytheist, all are welcome, provided they are willing to abide by the Retreat's ground rules and respect each other.

the river on camp grounds

The support staff and teachers arrived the day before the Retreat began, on Thursday. This gave us time to get settled in and get a feel for the place before the Retreat participants begin arriving, and I really like that. It also meant time to get the area cleansed and warded, the temple set up and blessed, and this year to have a ritual with the staff group before the full-on Retreat began. 

This year my friend and I were in the same cabin we'd been in two years ago, which I was happy about because, while its a hike to the main area and bathrooms, its right next to the river. We also lucked out with who our two cabin mates were (Peppermint cabin for the win!). The area we were in is at the edges of the activity, but feels closer to the heart of nature, and that's where I'd rather be. I love that little river and after several years of coming to that location it felt like seeing an old friend again. We settled in and then ventured out to say hello to everyone. There were some new faces this year, and a few missing from past years, but many, many familiar faces. The ritual Thursday night was low-key but moving.

Ritual fire

Day 1:

The first official day of Retreat began early for me, but I wasn't the only early riser. Its hectic on the first day, of course, because people are coming in and setting up throughout the day, but it was a good kind of hectic. Just as many of the support staff have returned to help out year after year, so too we have many people who travel to join the Retreat year after year and it makes me happy to see people that I only see once a year at this gathering. We had people coming in from the west coast and up from Florida, and we had people who joined us from Canada, and that's always a wonderful thing to see as well, the way that this event gathers people together from thousands of miles away, as much as from neighboring towns and states.  

I taught a class in the afternoon called Meeting the Morrigans. I have taught this at every Retreat since the first one, and it makes a good way to start things off, offering a basis for people who may have only a minimal (or no) knowledge of the Morrigans' history and myth. Our viewpoints and understandings of the Morrigan may vary widely, but the mythology is something that can be a touchstone for everyone, a way to connect us all together as we seek to better connect to and understand the Morrigan, Badb, and Macha. 

The rituals at this year's Retreat were slightly different than in the previous years. In the first three years one person designed all of the rituals and each one connected to the others, like a story arch, so that the three rituals become a journey in themselves for people. While that could offer some amazing connections and experiences, it also meant that it was problematic if anyone missed a ritual. So this year, instead, each ritual was designed by different people and was a stand alone. The ritual for Friday night was based on the idea of 9 different faces of the Morrigan and participants choosing one of these faces/aspects to take a message from (the messages were written on a piece of paper). I had the role of Morrigan of the Sidhe, and my message related to seeing both the dark and the light within the Fairy Queen. 

Another thing that was different this year was that we were offering oracle times in the temple. This was a period of a few hours set aside each day where a person who was experienced in channeling work would be in the temple space for anyone who may have questions or want a message. The person seeking to enter would be cleansed with smoke, then challenged before entering, then guided back to the person acting as oracle. Since I have been doing oracle work for over a decade I volunteered to serve in the temple as needed, which meant taking a shift each day it was offered. I admit that I underestimated how difficult that would be to do for extended periods of time, three days in a row, on top of everything else I was doing but since it seems to have been a valuable service to the community (based on people's comments later) I am glad that I chose to do it. 

Day 2:

I woke up painfully early Saturday morning, but there was a silver lining - while I was wandering around killing time before breakfast I ran into Segomâros Widugeni, one of my favorite humans and an all around interesting person to talk to. Which led to an hour and a half long conversation about everything from Gaulish deity names to the possible influences of Neolithic Irish pagan beliefs on the Irish Celts. I had an absolute blast talking to him, because it isn't often I can let myself full on nerd-out about my interests without feeling like I am horribly boring whoever is stuck talking to me. I think we could have talked for hours more, but as it was bacon is a prime motivator and breakfast called. 

Immediately after breakfast I had a class on dealing with non-human spirits. It was scheduled in the smaller pavilion but it was quickly apparent that, 9 am or not, there were going to be more people than would fit in the space. So in true 'Celtic' fashion we raided the neighboring territory, otherwise known as taking over the larger pavilion (in fairness it was empty as mine was the only class that early). It was a fun class to teach, based on a blog I wrote last year, and hopefully it helped people get at least the basics of what is needed to safely deal with non-human spirits. 

up at 4:30 am on Saturday, admiring the full moon as he hovered just above the trees

My second class that day - and my final one at the Retreat - was 'Geasa, Buada, and Oaths' which discussed what exactly all of those things were in an Irish context, why they were significant to the iron age Irish, and ways that they may still be important today. We spent most of the time discussing geasa, but that probably wasn't a bad thing since its such a hefty topic. I also wanted to offer lots of examples of geasa, how they were acquired, and what happened when they were broken, and that takes time. 

The ritual for Saturday was centered on Macha, featuring the five different Machas that appear in mythology (probably to no one's surprise I had the role of Macha of the sidhe). In the ritual I told the story of Macha, wife of Nemed, and how she cleared the plains, and we as a collective group of ritual particpiants built a small cairn representing our desire to build community in the Morrigan's honor. This was my favorite ritual, and I really hope that other people got as much out of it as I did. 

After ritual there was dinner, conversation, and generally great fellowship. One thing I love about the Retreat is that it offers an opportunity to connect and reconnect with such amazing people. This year there was a lot of laughter and tears, and both felt needed and good. This year I also witnessed someone's personal dedication to the Morrigan in a small private ceremony in the Temple; last year I was honored to help facilitate a baby blessing and I loved that this year we had a dedication ceremony. It makes me feel like in some small way we really are building a community, transient and ephemeral as it may be. Saturday night ended with more time working as an oracle in the temple and then hanging out with some friends.

community built cairn

Day 3:
Sunday, the final day, was really bittersweet this year. It seemed like the time had flown by and suddenly we were in the closing hours. I had oracle duty right after breakfast, and when that was done, in all honesty, I was pretty wiped out and decided to go sit and just relax for a bit. Sunday was also the hottest day of the four, getting into the 90's, and between the two things I chose to sit out the final ritual (the one I wasn't in), which was dedicated to Badb. I feel some guilt for missing it, but on the other hand I'm fairly sure I'd have passed out standing in the sun for it so I think it was probably the better choice. Someone going face first into the turf (or river) is not the way to end a great Retreat. Instead I bartered several of my books for a massage from the fabulous massage therapist onsite, because people keep telling me how great this whole self care thing is supposed to be.

I spent the final day then simply being with people, talking to anyone who wandered by where I was sitting in the main hall and wanted to talk. I am an introvert by nature, and I usually feel really socially awkward in the best of circumstances but by Sunday I had hit that zone where I was actually feeling comfortable - or maybe delirious. People who had lingering questions from my workshops, people who had random questions that they thought I might be able to answer, and people who just wanted to chat; friends and new faces. I even got over my own self-consciousness enough to ask my friends for pictures of us together before we all left. In retrospect it seems like the perfect note to end on; fellowship and friendship.

Another view of the river

The Morrigan's Call Retreat has become a touchstone of my year, and a cornerstone of my public practice as a priest/ess. I came into it this year deeply uncertain about many things, as my own spiritual path has undergone so many changes since Ireland. Yet only once in all of it did I feel strongly prohibited from participating in something, and the Macha ritual especially was deeply meaningful to me. There was a lot of silliness right alongside the deep devotion, spontaneous song parodies as much as serious in ritual singing. There was as much fun as there was effort, as much of a feeling of blessings as of work. I came in wondering if this was something I was meant  to continue doing, as I move away from so many public things and into a more solitary and private practice. What I found here this year was amazing conversations with people that I feel truly honored to know, a sense of intersectionality that I badly needed to be reminded of - and with it a feeling of acceptance and belonging that I hadn't even realized I needed to feel - and a reminder that there is value in community building, even when it feels painfully hard. I found magic and mystery in the smell of peppermint. I heard Her voice in the morning song of the river and of crows. And most of all I saw people coming together in Her name and building, stone by stone, the hope of what honoring Her in community can be.

pre-ritual selfie

Plans for 2018; Ireland and Iceland

I've had a lot going on lately, some of which I've written about here. One thing I think I haven't discussed yet is that next year is going to be a big travel year for me; I'm not planning to do many events or conferences but I do have two bigger trips planned.

The first, 'Bealtaine; Kindling the Flame of Devotion', will be happening in April and May of 2018. It's a sacred sites tour of southwest Ireland which I am doing with Stephanie Woodfield and Land Sea Sky Travel. I'm very excited to be teaming up with them again after our Morrigan Sacred Sites tour which went so well in 2016. We'll be going to the Burren, Lough Gur, and the area around the Beara Peninsula and we have some fun things planned to celebrate Bealtaine while we are there. We are also fortunate enough to have Lora O'Brien as our guide for part of the trip, which will offer people an amazing chance to learn from Lora in person. And for this trip we are offering a special scholarship opportunity for people who might not otherwise be able to go on the trip.

I'm very excited to be going back to Ireland again, and especially to have a chance to visit the southwest, an area that doesn't get as much sacred sites tourist attention as other areas seem to. There is a lot of rich mythology in that area, particularly relating to Goibhniu and the Cailleach, but we also see a range of stories about other deities and about many of the daoine sidhe.

Later in September of 2018 I'll be hopping a plane again, this time to go to Iceland, which will be a first for me. I'm teaming up with the always amazing Land Sea Sky travel and the fabulous Cat Heath to present 'Hiddenfolk, Witches, & Elves: A Pagan Pilgrimage Through Iceland's Magical Landscape'. I have long been fascinated by the folklore and mythology of Iceland, and my own approach to Heathenry is decidedly Alfatru based so I'm really looking forward to getting to see and feel the land there. I've known other people who have gone to Iceland on trips but I'm not aware of any other Sacred Sites tours so I can't wait to experience everything there.

2018 is going to be a busy year for me, but I'm looking forward to it. As someone who has never before done much international travelling having two trips like this seems like a rare and wonderful opportunity and I intend to make the most of it. I'll certainly write about my experiences here on my blog.

Behind the Scenes with My Fiction

I started writing fiction about 3 years ago, after a friend encouraged me to give National Novel Writing Month a try that November. I did it purely for fun, a break from my usual non-fiction, and never intended to publish it. But as I worked to reach NaNoWriMo's goal of 50,000 words in a single month I started trying to motivate myself by posting daily word counts and little plot summaries on my social media account. Much to my surprise it caught people's attention and my friends started asking me when they'd be able to read the story.

Because of the interest in the book - which ended up at around 84,000 words when it was finished - I decided to publish it. At that point I already knew it was going to be a trilogy (now a series going on 6 books) and I was nervous to see how it would be received. Because you see the same friend who had encouraged me to write the novel to begin with had also given me the sound advice to write what I would like to read. So the book was a cross-genre piece blending urban fantasy, new adult, paranormal romance, and alternate reality, and it was my attempt to take on, and overturn, some popular tropes that really annoyed me. It was based heavily on Celtic mythology, but also on asking myself a series of 'what if?' questions and then imagining answers. But it was also not a story that was fully told in that one book, it was something that would sprawl out over three books, and it was messy in the sense that I wasn't writing to give readers what they wanted but to try to create a story that was fantastical but also felt real. I knew that not everyone was going to understand or like that.

So, I mention overturning tropes. My favorite genre to read is urban fantasy, and there are lots of these to be found there. The ever present Mary Sue protagonist, the Deus ex Machina ending, the pure evil antagonist. There are also some other tropes that seem to exist as unwritten rules in themselves: the protagonist never really gets hurt unless that's their tragic backstory; if they do get hurt that's okay because tomorrow everything will be fine again; rape is only ever used to either gain sympathy for a character or give them (or those around them) motivation or justification; romance is fine as long as its unstable and temporary; protagonists can't get married or have families unless the series is ending.

When I set out to write my books I wanted to tackle a lot of these head on. I may not have fully appreciated how difficult that would be. I wanted a main character who was smart and resourceful but was also a person with reasonable limitations, someone who did not in fact have her life together but was fairly happy with her dysfunction. In other words someone who was as ordinary as possible, given she lived in a world that was stuck between mortal earth and Fairy. I wanted her existence to reflect her world, so I made her half human and half elven, and I gave her the sort of childhood and life that I felt both fit her story arch and would be relateable to people. She lives in a world where magic is a real, tangible force so I wanted her to have a foot in both worlds there too; I made her a witch in the human sense and I also gave her a magical ability that spanned both worlds, something that made her a bit of a misfit on both sides. There are points where she's in trouble and she needs other people to save her, and part of why that happens is because I didn't want her to be a Mary Sue who miraculously started spewing fire just in time to save the day. Especially at the beginning of the series she needed a starting point to grow from.

I get really annoyed reading books where characters get hurt, in any context, and then get up and walk away as if nothing happened. Yes, my characters are injured in these books, and no they don't just shrug that off and go on with life. Major injuries change a person. Yes, rape is something that occurs to main character in my books and part of why I did that was because I hated seeing it treated the way it was in other books. I hated seeing it used as either a way to make a reader pity a character or a way to justify why a character had suddenly become very bitter and/or homicidal. I wanted to write a piece of fiction where someone is hurt once, and then again - because life is painful and scary like that sometimes - and she walks away from it with scars, physical and mental. But she also heals from it, over the course of several books, because healing is a process not the turn of a couple pages. I wanted to show that even in fiction life can go on and people can still love you and support you and you can be strong again.

I also wanted to include romance as an aspect, but not the rather frustrating back-and-forth never really settled romance that most other books have. I knew going in that my protagonist had a certain unique quality, based on modeling her after a very specific being from Celtic mythology, but I also knew that she - and the reader - weren't going to learn that fact for several books. But it played into the way that her romantic life shaped up and I hope that I managed to build it up in a way that readers felt an 'a-ha!' moment in the third book. I also wanted to have her in a relationship that ended up being solid, although not typical. Including a variety of sexual orientations, lifestyles, and viewpoints was another thing that was important to me, as someone who knows what its like to feel like my own demographic has very little representation in fiction.

I tried hard in my fiction to make make my characters as real as possible and to let them act as naturally as possible within the narrative. They have problems and they make mistakes. Sometimes they make poor choices in how they deal with situations, and that leads to consequences. Some of the protagonist's friends aren't always good people, and some of the antagonists aren't entirely bad people. And ultimately I hope that readers feel like they understand why most of the characters do the things they do, whatever those things are.

I'm just starting to write book number 6 and I'm excited to share the next part of the story with the people who have been enjoying the series. And to end this with a fun fact - I base the words in my Elven language on Old Irish (probably no big surprise there).

Excerpt from Pagan Portals Odin

Today's blog is an excerpt from my forthcoming book Pagan Portals Odin, which will be released in March 2018

artwork by Ashley Bryner

Powers and Associations

Odin, like any deity, can and will influence whatever he chooses to but there are particular areas that he is especially associated with. I might not go so far as to say that he is the god of these things in the traditional sense², but they are certainly things that he seems to have an especially keen interest in or knowledge of.

Poetry – Odin is known as the god of poets and poetry, although he is not the only one. It is Odin who possesses the mead of poetry, Odreorir, which gives inspiration, and Odin himself is known to inspire those who he chooses to. His direct inspiration is the sort that is rooted in the meaning of his name ‘frenzy’ and perhaps should best be understood in that context. He inspires through passion, both the obviously good sort that motivates the creation of epic writing and songs as well as the kind that drives warriors to rush headlong into battle.

Madness and Ecstasy – Odin is a God whose very name is rooted in the Old Norse word óðr ‘furious’ and Adam of Bremen said of him, “Woden id est furor” [Woden, that is madness] (Simek, 1993; translation Daimler, 2017). As with his aspect as a God of poets Odin’s power as God of madness is rooted in his ability to inspire, in this case inspiring fury and frenzy. We see this in particular in the way he inspirers the Berserkers to battle-frenzy where they feel no pain and fight relentlessly. Simek suggest that ecstasy may have played a vital role in Odin’s cults during the Heathen period (Simek, 1993). Kershaw posits that this madness was directly related to divine possession and ecstasy, and connects it to a type of inspiration (Kershaw, 2000).

Battle – Odin is a god of battle who can influence every aspect of battle from inspiring or stirring up wars, to encouraging warriors to fight to their utmost, to choosing who gains victory and who dies. Ynglinga Saga relates that Odin brought war to the world, and we are told that at the beginning of a fight a spear would be cast over the opposing army to dedicate it as a sacrifice to Odin (Simek, 1993). In a story in the Eddas where Freya obtains a magical necklace named Brisgingamen, Odin has Loki steal the necklace and will only return it if Freya causes two kings to go to war with each other (Crossley-Holland, 1981). Odin was also the one who could give or withhold victory depending on who he favored, and those who lost or were killed in battle were seen as having lost Odin’s favor. In the Saga of King Hrolf Kraki, after King Hrolf and his men refuse a gift offered them by Odin in disguise and figure out it was in fact Odin offering it, one of the men comments, “I suspect that we have not behaved very wisely in rejecting what we should have accepted. We may have denied ourselves victory.” (Byock, 1998, p69). During wars sacrifices were made to Odin for victory, both by pouring out drink and offering blood (Tourville-Petre, 1964).

The Dead – Odin’s connection to the dead is a complex one. There is some suggestion that the main colors associated with him, particularly dark blue and blár, were colors of death that were symbolic of corpses (Gundarsson, 2006). His hall in Asgard was home to some of the dead, especially the heroic battle dead called Einherjar, and several of his by-names relate to the dead. Besides being associated with the battle dead though he was also connected to those who died by hanging, and some of his other names refer to this, making him a god of the gallows. Additionally we see him seeking out the dead, as will be discussed in the section on prophecy, in order to obtain information on future events, showing that he had the power and knowledge to call the dead forth from their burial mounds and communicate with them in Helhiem.

Magic – Odin is associated with several types of magic, most notably runic magic and seidhr, both of which we’ll discuss in greater depth in a later chapter. In the Havamal Odin discusses the various magical uses for runes that he knows and in Baldrs Draumar Odin is called the father of magic chants (Simek, 1993). We may also see an echo of his magical powers in his ability to shapeshift, as Odin is known to take multiple human disguises as well as the form of an eagle.

Wisdom – Odin as a God of wisdom could also be described as a God of cunning, because he is associated with both knowledge for its own sake and with the clever use of it. It should be kept in mind that his pursuit of wisdom is ruthless, to the point that he hangs on the World Tree without sustenance for nine days to find the runes and gives an eye for a drink from Mimir’s Well. Odin does not just passively collect this knowledge either but rather uses what he gains, such as the knowledge of runes for magic, and the information in prophecies to affect the future. And no matter how much he knows he continues to seek more knowledge, trying to see whatever it might be in creation that he does not know (Bauschatz, 1982).

Prophecy – Odin has strong connections to prophecy, both as a deity who sees the future himself and as a God who is known in the stories to seek out those who can see the future to tell him what will come to pass. From his throne, Hlidskjalf, it is said that he can see all things, and we know that to obtain the prophecy about Ragnarok he traveled to the boundary of Helheim to speak to a dead Seeress. The practice of prophecy itself in a modern context is one that is strongly associated with him.

2 By this I mean that people tend to understand Gods as ‘the God of X’ and then pigeonhole the deity into that role. However that approach doesn’t work especially well with the Norse pantheon (or several other pantheons for that matter) because they have a flexibility to them in what they can and will do. There is a great deal of cross-over between the different Gods, and overlap, in who is the God of what, so that we see Odin as a God who foresees the future but we see Frigga doing this as well. Odin is a God of warriors, especially berserkers, but Thor is also a God of warriors, although perhaps of a different sort. In this way there is no true specialization in the Norse pantheon, only those who favor certain perviews over others. 

References:

Bauschatz, P., (1982). The Well and the Tree

Byock, J., (1998) The Saga of King Hrolf Kraki

Gundarsson, K., (2006). Our Troth, volume 1 

Kershaw, K., (2000). The One-eyed God: Odin and the (Indo-)Germanic Mannerbunde

Simek, R., (1993). Dictionary of Nothern Mythology

Tourville-Petre, G., (1964) Myth and Religion of the North

Dangerous Fairies and Knowing Your Limits

When I was at Pantheacon this year I taught a class about the Unseelie Court. It was a fun class to teach, late at night and with a good crowd. I may have been slightly delirious from jet lag and sleep deprivation. I may also at one point have uttered the now somewhat infamous line in response to what to offer them 'I wouldn't offer meat because then you're going to attract the sorts of things that eat meat. And you know, we're made of meat.' So it was that sort of class, which is really the best sort of class in my opinion.

My purpose in teaching it was to address some of the misinformation that goes around about the Dark Court, painting them as more sympathetic and more kind than they generally are, but also to discuss ways that we can work with the more dangerous members of the Othercrowd safely. That may sound like a contradiction, but it isn't - like most things in life it isn't that all of the dangerous beings should be avoided completely but that they should be understood for what they are and respected. Part of dealing with dangerous Otherworldly beings safely, probably the most essential part, is knowing your own limits, because we have to know where and what our boundaries are in order to know how we can safely push those limits.

In the course of the class I mentioned that in the area I live in I am aware of the presence of an Each Uisge [water horse] in a local reservoir* that has drowned many people over the years. These types of fairies are definitely considered Unseelie Court and have a penchant for tricking people into riding them and then drowning and eating the person. Someone asked what I had done about the Each Uisge being there and I told them I tried to spread the word that it was a dangerous place. But people wanted to know why I didn't try to go in there and actually get rid of the Water Horse or fight it, so I said, rather bluntly, that a Water Horse was beyond my ability to safely deal with. People were quite surprised to hear this and wanted to know how I could know it was there and dangerous and not try to do something about it. I had to try to explain that even in folklore that sort of being is notoriously hard to deal with and extremely dangerous. It's a thousand-plus pound animal with human intelligence. Its fierce. It's fast. And if you touch it you can't let go again.

Let's be realistic here, I may be fairly experienced with these sort of things but I'm not Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And I'm not stupid. I know my limits and taking on a homicidal fairy horse on its own turf is not going to end well.

A local water-horse free lake

For those who seek to truck with uncanny things, to create allies among the Otherworldly folk, to work with the Good Neighbors one of the most important things you must always keep in mind is your own limitations. Magically and physically know exactly what you are capable of doing. Especially when you're dealing with things that are known in folklore to consider humans a food source. Because this isn't a fun exercise in visualization, a game, or the plotline of a teen novel, and there can be some real and serious consequences when you mess up. You can be hurt physically, you can be hurt emotionally, and what I've seen most often is you can be deeply wounded in the soul or spirit. And sometimes those consequences are permanent and sometimes those consequences are fatal.

This is true with any kind of magic or working with spirits (angels scare me spitless, quite frankly with their Old Testament activities) but it should be common sense if you know you're intentionally going to be dealing with something dangerous to treat it as something dangerous. In the mundane world you wouldn't walk up to a wild bear or wolf and try to pet it, and in the same way in the non-mundane you should approach Other Folk with caution. But just like you can handle a wild animal safely if you know how and you know exactly what you personally can and can't do, what your physical limitations are, just so you can often handle spirits and Otherworldly beings as long as you know your capabilities. And even in unexpected situations you can bluff or manage your way out provided you know your own limitations - and a good grounding in folklore doesn't hurt.

There's a certain amount of risk that's required of anyone who seeks to connect to the Good People. But be wise in what you risk, and know exactly how far you can push.


*I call it an each uisge because that's the name that seems to describe it best. Its a large dark horse that lives in the water and drowns people. It doesn't physically consume them as far as I know, but it does feed on their emotions and spirit - if it isn't an actual Celtic water horse then I don't know of any local folklore that explains what it could be.

Aoibheall, Fairy Queen of Clare

Many of the Irish Fairy Queens were once Goddesses and we know this because they are listed among the ranks of the Tuatha Dé Danann, the Gods of Ireland. However not all of them are so easily traced back to deities, although there may be an argument that they all have their roots in previous land and sovereignty Goddesses. One such more obscure Fairy queen is Aoibheall of Clare, whose folklore goes back to at least the 11th century but who is not found directly among the Tuatha De Danann. 

Bonfire at the Morrigan's Call Retreat 2016

Her name is from the Old Irish word oibell for 'spark, flame, heat' and as an adjective means 'bright or merry'. There are many variants of the spelling of her name including Aoibhell, Aoibhil, Aíbell, Aebill, Eevell, and Ibhell; it is pronounced roughly 'EEval'. By some accounts her name was once Aoibheann [EEvan], which is said to mean beautiful or lovely, from the Old Irish oíbhan 'little beauty'. Understanding the meaning of her name gives us the first clue as to her nature and temperament. 

She is not found named among the lists of the Tuatha Dé Danann, but we may perhaps see a connection there as by some accounts her sister is Clíona, and while folklore does not tell us about Aoibheall's parentage we do know that Clíona's father was Gabann, a druid of Manannán mac Lir. The two are also rivals, specifically over the affections of a man named Caomh; because of this rivalry at one point Clíona turned Aoibheall into a white cat. In folklore Aoibheall was said to have control over the weather and she possesses a magical harp whose music kills those who hear it. Her harp may be why she is considered by some in more recent folklore to be an omen of death.

She was likely originally a territory and sovereignty goddess of Clare, associated with mortal kingship and succession, and is later known as a fairy queen and bean sí. Her sí is at Craig Liath [Craglea] which is also called Craig Aoibheall [Crageevel]. Nearby there is a well associated with her called Tobhar Aoibill. Her presence is connected to the area of Slieve Bearnagh and more generally around Killaloe. One later bit of folklore says that Aoibheall left the area after the wood around Craig Laith was cut down. She is often called the Fairy Queen of Tuamhain [Thomond] which was a historic territory of the Dál cCais that is now modern day Clare, Limerick, and some of Tipperary. 

She is known as the protector of the Dál gCais, and so the O'Briens, and she is called both their bean sí and the banfáidh ó mBriain [prophetess or seeress of the O'Brien's]. It is said that she appeared to Brain Boru in 1014 the night before the battle of Clontarf and predicted his death as well as who his successor would be; she was also said to be the lover of one of his sons. Her involvement with the king, predicting his death, and naming his successor, may all be seen as functions of a territorial or sovereignty Goddess.

She appears as the judge in Merriman's 18th century poem An Cuirt an Mhéan Oíche, hearing the complaint of women that men do them wrong in not marrying them and taking advantage of them. In that poem she is called "the truthful" and "all-seeing". She sides with the women, ruling that men must marry by 21 or are open to women's reprisals. She also appears in the folk song An Buachaill Caol Dubh where she asks the spirit of alcohol, personified as a 'dark, slim boy', to release a person under his sway.

Aoibheall is a complex folkloric figure. If she was once a Goddess the proof of it has now been lost although hints remain in her powers and activities. Her actions in poem and song seem benevolent, yet in folklore she is associated with death, both through its prediction and causing it with her harp music. Like many Fairy Queens she takes human lovers, and we might associate her with cats, especially white ones, and with fire. Like the flame itself she is named beautiful, yet can be either terribly destructive or a great blessing. Ultimately she is as much mystery as certainty. 

References:

Marshall, R., (2013). Clare Folk tales

MacKillop, J., (1998) A Dictionary of Celtic Mythology

O hOgain, D., (2006) Lore of Ireland
Westropp, T., (1910). Folklore of Clare

Merriman, B., (2006) The Midnight Court - translated by Ciaran Carson

An Buachaill Caol Dubh - folk song

Shifting Spirituality

This is going to be complicated. Also mysticism and personal experiences ahead. Proceed at your own risk.

I went to Ireland six months ago, and its been a time of transition and refocusing since then.

I don't tend to always share a lot of really deep personal stuff, for various reasons, including worry about how my experiences will be perceived. I've been reflecting a lot on that lately, but its kind of a side issue. People in my life have asked what's going on with me spiritually and I've mentioned that I'm working on processing a lot of things. I wrote a bit about the more spiritual side of my trip last year after I'd come back in my blog Muddy Boots or Setting My Feet on the Path and that did show that things had taken an unexpected turn. I'm sure people who read my blog have noticed a shift in what I write about, and that also is a bit indicative as I always write about whatever is interesting me at the moment.
I went to Ireland, considering myself someone who was very focused on the Daoine Eile but who was also largely a polytheist working on honoring the Gods and doing their work as best I could. I had been dedicated to Odin for a decade within a Heathen context and was dedicated to Macha, and had a strong relationship with the Morrigan and Badb as well. Not to mention the other Gods I regularly honored. The entire point of the Ireland trip was a pilgrimage to honor the Morrigan. If I had to give numbers to things I would have said my practice broke down to like 55% Othercrowd, 45% Gods and 10% ancestors. The Good People were what gave everything cohesion and held the diversity of my practices together, but they were still only a portion.

Then Ireland.

I wrote about it in the blog linked above, so I'll spare you the tl;dr re-hashing but it changed everything, while simultaneously not changing things. My personal experience of that trip was entirely Daoine Sí focused. There are some details I haven't told many people before, although these are things a few people are aware of or became aware of separately. That doesn't entirely matter. On the dark moon in October, in Uaimh na gCat I saw the sí of Cruachan open and I had an aisling there. Not of the Morrigan, which is what I had expected, but of a different Queen, from Elsewhere. The next night at Tlachtga in ritual I was named a priestess of the aos sí, a title I chose to accept. This has had some repercussions which I'm still sorting out.

Upon arriving home I was fairly seriously ill for several months with respiratory infections that just wouldn't quit. During this period everything has shifted to focus on the aos sí. That may not sound like a big shift for me, but it really is; its profound. Odin, after 10 years of dedication, severed my oaths to himself, which was a really difficult thing for me. I currently have no clear idea of where I stand with Macha, and while I don't think that's come to an end, it feels different now. The Gods in general still feel present but not nearly as immediately as they always have. For the first time in over 25 years the gods, in one form or another, by one name or another, are not a significant aspect of my daily or even general spirituality. Those numbers I mentioned before? They've shifted at this point to something closer to 90% Othercrowd, 5% Gods, 5% ancestors. That's a seismic shift for me and I feel like I'm floundering trying to find a balance with it.

The Tuatha Dé Danann are among the aos sí, and that's a layer of complication I'm still sorting out. Because its not simple or straightforward. As an animist I've always seen the Gods as just a powerful type of spirit, and I still think that is so, yet this is showing me there is also a distinction here, almost a tribal division going on somewhere dividing groups of spirits, of Gods from not-Gods. Of Aesir from alfar. I haven't sorted it all out yet, and honestly I think it's going to be a slow process as I feel my way along. Because as I mentioned the Gods aren't gone, its just that my relationship to them has changed.

What I do know is that I'm in service to a Fairy Queen, and have been since last Samhain. And that's something new I have to figure out as well. At the time she didn't tell me her name, only that I wasn't to cut my hair anymore (yay for personal geasa). I thought I had figured out who she was over the last six months, but I was wrong. She finally did tell me her name and she is someone I know literally almost nothing about, which if you know me you'll know is pretty unnerving for me. But there's been independent confirmation from two sources - friends who I trust and who are talented with psychic things, although they may not phrase it that way - who described her and told me details about her without my telling them anything about what was going on, so its hard for me not to trust this.

So that's where I'm at. Moving forward one step at a time, doing what I've always done and trying to rely on both academic resources and mysticism to see me though. I've let go of a lot of labels recently which has been an enormously difficult thing. Labels, in there own way, are an aspect of self-definition, so letting go of those words has been a process of letting go of pieces of myself that don't fit any more.

Still a witch. A priestess of the Good People. No idea about any of the rest of it.