A Prayer to an Cailleach During Storms

Cailleach, Lady of Winter,
Winter of hard snow,
Snow driven by wind
Wind roaring, fierce,
Fierce Hag, I pray to you
You, who can be gentle
Be gentle to my home
My home and my family
My family and little children
Children who offer to you
You, Cailleach of Winter,
Winter hard and cold
Cold kept back by warmth
Warmth that we share
Share what we have with you
You, who can be gentle
Be gentle with those
Those who offer in your storm
May your storm pass us by
pass us by unharmed

The Morrigan and Plans for 2015

   I'm sure many of you would rather see more translation here, and don't worry I'll get some more done soon. I'm working on a new manuscript at the moment which is taking up some time, but hopefully next week I'll get to some of the other fun untranslated bits of the Cath Maige Tuired...
  I dreamed last night of the Morrigan, and this morning I was asked to do a workshop about her (them) next month so I thought it might be good to offer a short blog today just outlining some of this year's plans, where I'll be and what I'll be doing.
  I'm going to Pantheacon next month which is a very exciting first for me. I'll get to meet a lot of awesome people and spend time with some friends, including Stephanie Woodfield who is dragging me out there with her (I haven't been on a plane since I was 10 years old). It will be an adventure. While I'm at the con I'm going to be doing an informal workshop in the ADF hospitality suite, on Friday at 4, about the Morrigan in different myths. I'm really looking forward to it and think it will be a lot of fun, and I'm honored to have been asked to do it. So if you happen to be at Pantheacon and in the mood to hang with some Druids and talk Morrigan, come check it out.
  In June I'll be at the second annual Morrigan's Call Retreat teaching a workshop or two and helping with rituals. Last year was amazing and I'm sure this year will be even better. We have Jhenah Telyndru from the sisterhood of Avalon as a speaker and Mama Gina as a musical guest, as well as the usual suspects and some new faces.
   At the end of October I'll be participating in Seeking the Great Queens: a Sacred Sites Tour in Ireland. It is a sacred sites tour focusing on sites associated with the Morrigan and her mythology and includes celebrating Samhain at Tlachtga. There will be workshops, discussions, and rituals, and I have no doubt it will be a once in a lifetime experience.
   It's going to be a busy year, and very Morrigan-focused, but I'm excited about it.

Goodbye 2014, Hello 2015

  Last year was a very busy one for me. I had four books published - Fairy Witchcraft and Pagan Portals: the Morrigan through Moon Books and the first two in my urban fantasy series Murder Between the Worlds and Lost in Mist and Shadow (self published); I also had pieces in three anthologies this year. I wrote for the blog as well as guest blogging on Raise the Horns, and writing articles for journals and e-zines, including one for Goddess Pages on the Morrigan. I taught at ADF's Wellspring, at the Morrigan's Call retreat, CT Pagan Pride Day and the Changing Times, Changing Worlds convention. And I had the always fun experience of being a guest on the podshow the New Normal as well as appearing on another podcast, Main Street Universe, where I talked about Fairies. I ventured into the new and interesting world of translating older Irish manuscript material, which I've really been enjoying (and look for more of that soon). And of course in between all those shenanigans was Real Life with children and grocery shopping and bills.
   Now we are heading into to 2015. I had genuinely intended to make this year a quiet one, but it doesn't look like that is meant to be. My next novel, the third in my urban fantasy series, is coming out at the end of this month, and I have a piece I am writing for another anthology. I have several other book projects in the works as well as articles coming out in the next issues of Air n-Aithesc, Pagan Dawn, and Goddess Alive. I'm attending Pantheacon for the first time this year, and am already scheduled to teach workshops at a spiritualist church, at the second Morrigan Calls retreat, as well as on a Morrigan Sacred Sites tour of Ireland, and tentatively at CWPN's Harvest Gathering.
  I do plan to keep up with the blog, including continuing with my translation efforts. Hopefully I will be back to my regular blogging schedule now, but I wanted everyone to understand that as my non-blog writing has increased - and as real life demands have taken a lot of my attention - it has gotten harder to give the blog the attention I want. I'd rather not write at all than write when I don't have time to cite sources and give it the quality it deserves.
  As we move into the new year my goal here, for the blog, is to find a balance between more academic entries and more experiential entries. And to get back on my twice-a-week schedule. So happy new year to you all, and stay tuned. 

tolerance and acceptance

  Last weekend I attended the Changing Times, Changing Worlds conference, an annual regional conference on metaphysics in the northeast United States. I've done workshops at the conference 4 out of the 5 years its run and I really enjoy attending. This year was no exception, with many good workshops and panels as well as excellent conversations with both attendees and other presenters.

   One of the most interesting panels I saw was "When is it okay to tell someone they are wrong?". The five panelists discussed various scenarios within the pagan community where someone was either publicly lying or falsely claiming things, such as experience or titles, and how they might each deal with the situation. I was surprised by the number of responses that advocated kind private interventions and mentoring to handle people making such claims. There was also a strong emphasis on accepting that wrong didn't include different, and that we as a community needed to be more open and accepting of varieties within traditions and practices. In other words there is no one correct Wicca, no one true witchcraft, no exact Reconstruction, so it is foolish to have so-called witch wars over differences in approach and method. I found that while I didn't agree entirely with everything that was said I did walk away with a lot to consider.
   One of the nuances that I think is consistently missed in the wider community is the difference between tolerance and acceptance. Tolerance is simply being able to allow or endure the existence of something, including things we don't like and things we disagree with. I can tolerate a lot within the community because I do not expect everyone to practice, believe, and act the way I do. Acceptance on the other hand is agreeing that something is good or suitable. There are many, many things in the pagan community that I do not particularly accept. I do not accept them as either good or suitable beliefs or practices and given a chance I'll usually expound on why. However - and herein lies the crux - I can tolerate what I do not accept. More importantly I should and must tolerate what I don't accept because it is pure ego to think that every single pagan - or even every Irish recon - would or should think and do exactly as I think and do. And I fully expect others to tolerate my practices and beliefs which they do not accept.
   So then, if I am tolerating that which I don't accept when is it okay to tell someone they are wrong? Well, my short answer is usually always, at least in the sense that I think we should all be open to questioning and criticism of what we do. I don't see anything wrong with telling someone I disagree with them, nor I do think that voicing disagreement must always be condemnation or attack. It is entirely possible to say "I don't agree with doing that" in a civil manner.
     I do also think that as a wider community we do need to be willing to speak up about the things that matter, the big things like abuse and fraud, without feeling constrained by a false propriety. This idea that we don't want to rock the boat or be confrontational seems to be so misapplied to me, when we can have huge intergroup issues over someone blowing candles out instead of snuffing them but no one wants to accuse another person of an actual serious crime when they should. That kind of behavior we should never tolerate, and yet we do while simultaneously refusing to accept minor theological differences between traditions that shouldn't even be a concern. I mean why should I care that a group I don't belong to does something I find silly or pointless, or even offensive? Whereas I should obviously care if another group is hurting children or stealing money from people.
    When should we tell other people they are wrong? When they are publicly putting something out that opens up a discussion; when they are making statements of fact; when they are speaking as any kind of authority - then I think we should speak if what is being said is objectively wrong. When it is a question of personal belief and ideas, then it is less telling someone they are wrong and more about engaging in conversations and dialogue and expressing an alternate viewpoint. I'm sure there are many valid reasons for silence as well, especially when its wiser or more strategic not to speak, but I think there is too much of that in many areas. We argue over inconsequential things, but we stay silent over what really matters.
   Accept what you agree with; tolerate what does no harm and doesn't affect you; speak your truth

Dating the Holidays

    Probably the single most consistent debate you can count on seeing in the Celtic Pagan community is about the dating of the four Fire Festivals. Like all such debates each side tends to hold its own view quite passionately. There are three main arguments: the dates of the celebrations were set astronomically; the dates were set using a calendar; the dates were based on agricultural signs. Each side has merit, but the truth is there is not enough solid evidence to ever know with certainty how the ancients timed their celebrations. 

    The astrology argument is based on setting the dates exactly midway between the solstices and equinoxes. This usually puts them roughly six weeks after the previous holiday and six weeks before the next one. In some cases people suggest using a specific marker such as a constellation being at a certain point in the sky or a sign of the zodiac at a certain degree. The ancient stone circles and mounds which are aligned with certain times are also used, so that when the light of the sun hits a certain point or illuminates the interior of the mound it would indicate that the holiday should be celebrated. This argument naturally hinges on two premises: that the ancients celebrated the solar holidays as well, and that they were aware of the alignments of the ancient neolithic monuments. There is also a related argument that uses lunar dating, based from what I have seen on the second full moon after the solar event*.

    The calendar argument dates the celebration on the first day of the respective months they occur on: February, May, August, and November. We have references in the mythology dating back to the 11th century of Lughnasa, Bealtaine, and Samhain being on the 'kalends' (first day) of those months and we know historically they were celebrated on those days in folk practice. This is somewhat complicated by the fact that the calendar system switched from the Julian to the Gregorian and when that occurred the dates shifted. When the calendar shift occurred in the UK in 1752 it moved everything back 11 days, meaning what was the first of November is now the 12th. Even a hundred years ago in several areas people were still celebrating Imbolc and Lughnasa in particular on the 12th of February and August respectively because they were using the old dating. What this means in practice is that when we see older references to the days being celebrated on the first we need to understand that they are equivalent for us today to the 12th of that same month. Someone who wanted to use the calendar dates could, I think, choose to either go by the first of the month still or use the older dating and celebrate on the 12th. 

   The final method of dating the celebration of the holiday is based on observation of agricultural markers and the idea that each holiday is agrarian at heart and depends on certain conditions being met. Imbolc is a celebration of the return of fresh milk and would be celebrated when the lambs were born or the sheep came into milk. Bealtaine is the beginning of summer, a time when the herds are moved to summer pastures, and would have been celebrated when the people were confident winter had passed; this is often said to be marked by the blooming of the Hawthorn and indeed many Bealtaine traditions require flowers. Lughnasa was the beginning of the harvest - nothing could be harvested before the proper time by longstanding tradition - and of the harvest fairs, and would have been celebrated when the grain crops were ready to be gathered. Samhain was the beginning of winter, when the herds were brought back in from the summer pastures and extra stock was butchered. It also marked the end of the harvest and gathering anything after Samhain was prohibited as everything left belonged to the daoine sidhe. Many people say that Samhain would have been celebrated after the first hard frost; there is a certain logic to this as frost would ruin any crops left in the fields**.  This method of dating is the least rigid and most changeable of the three, and also can prove difficult for people who are far removed from the farming cycle.

   Each of these approaches has merit, and each has problems. No one is a perfect solution or can be proven beyond question to be the historical method. It is up to individuals to decide which method they prefer and learn how best to apply it within their own practice. 

*there may well be variations of this

**different crops have various tolerances to frost, and this is somewhat dependent on the severity and length of the frost as well, however it seems safe to say that our ancestors would be highly motivated to get all the crops in by the time they started seeing frost and would consider frost a sign of the end of the harvest season and beginning of winter. 

Celebrating Samhain with a Complex Child

Canann Badb. 
feannóg guth
Garbh agus amh. 
Canann Badb.
Tagann an gheimhridh 
i sioc agus scáth.
Canann Badb

"Badb speaks
a crow's voice
rough and raw
Badb speaks
winter arrives
in frost and shadow
Badb speaks"

I wrote the above poem this morning as I listened to a crow calling to me, perched on a tree outside my window. Today is the beginning of my three day celebration of Samhain, and tonight belongs especially to the daoine maith, the Good People. I've written several times over the years about how my family celebrates Samhain and about the history of the holiday so today I decided I want to tackle a more personal topic, that is celebrating this holiday with a child who has complex medical issues.
  One of the walls I often crash against in the wider pagan community is the inaccessibility of events and rituals for children who have issues, from autism spectrum disorders to physical mobility issues, that require accommodation. We are a community that prides itself on inclusivity, and yet I often see a lack of it towards children in general and specifically towards children who have behavioral or physical challenges. The biggest argument against it seems to be that something important will be lost if we change what we are doing to make it easier for children with different needs to attend. I disagree, and below I will explain how I have modified my own practice to accommodate my daughter. 
     What frustrates me is that it doesn't have to be this way - while it does require compromise and reworking it is not impossible to accommodate families that need it. And I will never believe the Gods, ancestors or spirits are offended by the actions or needs of a child who is doing their best in the moment and only wants to be part of a spiritual celebration. 
   So, to begin with: food. feasting is a big part of most reconstructionist faiths as well as other pagan religions. Allergies are things both adults and children deal with and should not ever be something that is treated lightly. Just because peanuts are your favorite treat doesn't mean it will kill you to skip bringing them to a group celebration, and being around them might just kill someone else. And that's not hyperbole. Let me fill you in on something all parents know - kids don't care about whether eating something will make them sick, if it tastes good they will eat it anyway. My daughter for many years was not allowed to eat gluten, soy, or dairy because of a congenital immune deficiency disorder which made her digestive system very touchy, and chocolate was something she could only have in very small amounts. That never stopped her from overeating things she shouldn't have when she had a chance with predictable results . Kids with allergies are not going to police themselves, especially younger ones, and I get really irritated when adults complain about how unfair it is that they have to skip out on a food they like or are complain about being expected to cater to someone else's allergies. On a related side note, its super frustrating when there is only dish at a pot luck or similar event that a child can eat and everyone else is taking huge servings of it, not leaving enough for that child to eat very much. Shouldn't this be common courtesy? 
   Accessibility. No one ever thinks of this one, and honestly I can only imagine the frustration of parents with children in wheel chairs who are faced with hikes or trips over uneven ground. My daughter is ambulatory but due to a heart condition she tires easily and doesn't have the stamina for long walks, never mind hikes. I can't tell you how often I end up carrying her (luckily even at 6 she's very small, so carrying her is still an option). When we trick or treat on Halloween we plan carefully so that she isn't exhausted by the end. It shouldn't be that difficult to find a suitable site that is easy for people with mobility issues to access. At the Morrigan Retreat this past June we had to change our ritual location to accommodate such a situation and there was no complaining about it ruining things or blaming people for putting everyone else out. We came together as a community and made it work for everyone, once we knew there was an issue. I have a friend who is a sign language interpreter and we have discussed several times the huge challenge that deaf pagans face in trying to find even basic accommodations at rituals and workshops. Whether we like to acknowledge it or not public ceremonies are designed, almost exclusively, for people with 5 functional senses, full mobility, and normal stamina. We really need to start asking ourselves where this leaves all the people who don't have all of those things. Is it that difficult to make what we do truly open to everyone?*
  Finally behavioral issues; this is the one that has caused me to stop bringing my children to most events, in all honesty. I'm not talking here about kids who are destructive or violent and really shouldn't be expected to handle being in a ritual setting without disaster ensuing. I'm talking about kids who can't act their age or who can't focus or stay quiet or still through a ceremony. People have expectations for the behavior of children at certain ages and when your child isn't conforming to that not only is the child assumed to lack discipline but the parent is criticized for being too lenient. And in my experience even explaining that the child in question has a medical diagnoses makes no difference. People come to a spiritual gathering or ritual expecting a moving experience and they do not in any way want to deal with a child who can't be still or quiet. My daughter has a sensory processing disorder that means she is sensory seeking (she touches everything) and also that loud noises and crowds upset her. She has been in occupational therapy since she was a toddler and behavioral therapy since first grade, but these are not things that will ever go away, they are part of who she is. When she was small people were pretty tolerant of her quirky behavior, but as she has gotten older the tolerance has largely evaporated, especially with people who don't know her. I find it unfair to put that expectation of perfect behavior on any child but especially those that have extra challenges with conforming to behavioral expectations. This one is a double edged sword though because I have also had problems with judgment from people (not necessarily at pagan events, but in general) when I have to leave early because my daughter has hit her limit and is on the verge of a sensory meltdown. Children and parents who deal these issues shouldn't feel unwelcome. 
    As a reconstructionist I do not believe this is how our ancestors would have reacted to people who had different needs, not when community was the center of celebration. Babies cry, women need to nurse during rituals (see point one), children fuss, kids need to use the bathroom at inopportune times, and so on. It seems natural that children who have behavioral issues would also be understood as part of the community and while - obviously - extreme disruptions can't be allowed minor disturbances and less than perfect behavior would be tolerated. The community would find ways to make sure everyone possible attended ceremonies, I think. And while food issues may be a more modern thing I know our ancestors made sure everyone, even the poor and beggars, had something to eat on ritual days. 
   

  So, how do we celebrate with my youngest daughter? We start by talking a lot ahead of time about the holiday, because she is very into routine and unexpected things can throw her off. On the first day of Samhain we go trick or treating and when we get home we leave out an offering for the Daoine Eile. The children each choose something to offer from the candy they have gotten. On the second night we honor the Gods by lighting a fire in my largest cauldron. Because my daughter is phobic of the dark we do not do turn out all the lights, although I used to do so before to mimic the ceremony at Tlachtga. I tell the children stories of different events that have occurred in myth on Samhain and often we end up talking more generally about different Tuatha De Danann that interest them. We have a ritual to an Morrigan and an Daghda and make offerings to them, and divination is done for the year to come. Sometimes my youngest daughter stays for the whole ritual, sometimes she doesn't. On the third day we honor our ancestors. An extra place is set at the table and water and food are set out at dinner. We light white candles on our ancestor altar and we tell stories about our beloved dead. My youngest daughter struggles with expressing her emotions so she enjoys the stories of the older dead who she never knew but will usually leave when we talk about the more recent dead. We offer coffee on the altar and leave out something on the doorstep for the wandering dead.

   And that's it. The biggest accommodations we make for my daughter are letting her come and go as she pleases during ceremonies, and letting her sit or play during the ceremonies if she's having trouble focusing, and making sure nothing is too dark or too loud. We also keep each focused ceremony short and to the point because that's easier for her to handle. It's not that hard and while it has changed how I conduct rituals and the flow of my ceremonies I do not in any way feel that I've lost any substance. In a situation where I feel compelled to do something really complex or drawn out I do it by myself but honestly that's very rare. My religion is part of the legacy I want to pass on to my children - all my children - and its important to me that she be and feel included. 

*I do acknowledge that the issue of having an interpreter available is complicated because it is not a common enough skill. Maybe we should all try to learn a little sign language to bridge the gap. 

Experiencing the Other Crowd

  One complaint that I see often in the wider pagan/polytheist community is that people of a more reconstructionist bent, such as myself, don't share enough personal experiences. That's actually a fair criticism generally speaking. For my part I have been trying to share more, although I have so far found it easier to share numinous experiences, especially those involving the Gods, through poetry. Today I wanted to share a little bit of my experiences with the Good Neighbors. Although everything to do with themselves is tricky, and often carries specific prohibitions about what can and cannot be shared, there are certain experiences that happened which involved more than just myself or which I know its okay to talk about. these are an array of things and involve, naturally, a variety of different kinds of spirits, but nonetheless I'd like to share some here. Hopefully it'll give people an idea of what these things can be like.

  For those who have read my book Fairy Witchcraft or attended some of my classes about the Other Crowd some of these may be familiar. This is my top 5 list of public or share-able experiences:
  5) I had made a habit of offering milk every friday to the spirits of my home and immediate area. My finances took a downward turn and I couldn't afford to keep up with it so I switched to other things. One friday a couple weeks after I stopped offering the milk I was getting out of my car after going grocery shopping when a gallon of milk was pulled out of my hand. The container hit the grass and burst. From then on I made sure to offer at least a small bit of milk each week
4) Many years ago I had a loose assortment of friends who were all different types of pagans. One full moon we decided to get together and have a ritual and one woman mentioned a spot out in the woods that she had used many times. We all met up in early afternoon and then drove out to the suburban home where her parents lived, before hiking back into the woods about a mile or so. The ritual location was lovely and we had a casual ceremony followed by a long, pleasant conversation that lasted into the early evening. Finally it was full dark, and even with the full moon above us the forest was closing in so we packed up and started back. After walking for about 5 minutes we could clearly see the lights from the houses shining through the trees ahead of us. But after ten more minutes the lights were no closer. We climbed over rocks and around trees, through thorns and fallen branches, yet never seemed able to move forward. One other friend and I began to suspect fairy enchantment, as the rest of the group fought to push forward. Finally, after perhaps another 15 minutes of walking, my friend and I acknowledged that we were being pixy-led; we began to laugh and compliment the fairies on such a fine joke. The energy broke with an almost physical snap and within a few minutes we emerged in a backyard a few houses down from where we’d first gone into the woods.
3) My friend has had a large shrine/altar for the aos sidhe in her store for 15 years. This past equinox we needed to move the shrine, which was an epic undertaking, and took most of a morning. Several days later I noticed a flourite ring was missing from a jewelry display. We both assumed it had been stolen, which was upsetting. Then my friend found it, days later on the new fairy shrine - covered in years of dust as if it had been there for a long time. (note we left it there - if they want an offering enough to take it, they can keep it)

2) As I was helping out in my friend's store one day I looked down and realized my wedding ring was gone. I panicked and my friend and I searched everywhere but there was no trace of it. I made several offerings to the aos sidhe hoping the ring would turn up, because I knew of their tendency to take jewelry, but it didn't. Months went by and I felt pressed to write my Fairy Witchcraft book, which I did (separate story). Shortly after I finished the book and submitted it to my publisher my friend found the ring sitting in front of her altar.
1) about a decade ago I was at a local state park that has a strong Other Crowd presence. While I was there I left a small pendant, a moonstone with an iolite set above it, as an offering. At my house I have a small room dedicated for ritual use; its where all my altars are. About a year ago I walked into my ritual room and sitting on the floor in front of my main altar was the pendant I had left as an offering all those years before.