Why I don't think Danu is Anu

  So something that comes up fairly regularly is the question of whether Danu and Anu are the same goddess or two distinct individuals*.
  I want to say up front that this is one of those fun things that scholars disagree about so what follows is not meant to be conclusive but merely reflect my opinion and the evidence I base that opinion on.
  I tend to believe that Anu and Danu are different goddesses and this is why:
1. The names have different meanings. Danu is related to the word for flow while Anu has a meaning related to wealth or abundance. We also see cognates to each as distinct individuals in other Celtic cultures like the Welsh Don and Anna (although in fairness Don and Anna are also sometimes conflated)
2. Although many people try to argue that Danu is actually a confusion of Dea Anu* or De Anu there are several problems to my mind with this. Firstly it assumes that the pagan Irish and the monks writing down the stories were unfamiliar enough with their own language that they would have conflated de Anand into Danand (and then not realized this was a new deity), which I'm very doubtful about. Old Irish is not pronounced exactly as modern Irish is, for one thing, but even if it was I find it hard to believe that native speakers would have confused JAY AHN-ahn for DAHN-ahn as it requires not only dropping a vowel but also shifting and dropping a stressed syllable and changing how the initial 'd' is pronounced entirely.
3. One main example given to support the above theory is that both Danu and Anu have sites named after their paps (no really) and that this somehow suggests they were the same Goddess and the sites had the same name which over time was corrupted into two different versions. However as with the above example the problem is that in Older forms of Irish the two place names are not sufficiently similar in my opinion. Keating in his Foras Feasa ar Eirinn refers to the site attributed to Danu as "Dá Chích Dhanann" and the Onomasticon Goedelicum locorum et tribuum Hiberniae et Scotiae calls it "Dá Chich Danainne" while the Sanas Cormac refers to Anu's site as "Dā Chīch nAnund". However even if we accept that the name of this single location was incorrectly attributed to both goddesses instead of one, that doesn't prove they themselves are a single deity. Effectively the argument is that the eclpising of Danann to nDanann and of Anann to nAnann render the names identical; however this occurs only in situations where the names are eclpised, generally in the possessive. This also presupposes a sort of chicken-and-egg argument where the name of the location would have to have somehow overshadowed or obscured the deity it was named for to a degree that the local populace forgot whether it was Anu's breasts or Danu's. I find that idea highly suspect.
4. Which leads me to the main reason I disagree with the conflation of these two deities - we do have examples of each name occurring separately uneclipsed. In the Lebor Gabala Erenn we are told that Anand is the personal name of the Morrigan but the Morrigan and Danand appear together, for example, in the same redaction of that text, only a dozen verses apart:
"Ernmas had other three daughters, Badb and Macha and Morrigu, whose name was Anand"
then, shortly after in a list of women of the Tuatha de Danann:
"Danann, mother of the gods. Badb and Macha, greatness of wealth, Morrigu"
Although I know that people question the veracity of the LGE, particularly between redactions, I find it hard to credit that the authors would identify the two goddesses as different in the same version of the same text if it was understood in oral tradition that they were one being. While we can certainly criticize the written texts on several levels to give validity to the argument that Anu and Danu are the same goddess conflated in written texts we must first believe that the examples of them as individual goddess given in uneclipsed versions of their names are not reflecting genuine oral tradition, and I am just too skeptical of that to believe it. We would have to believe that people recording stories they had heard all their lives were making these mistakes, and I just can't credit that, personally. It smacks too much of the hubris of modern times saying that our ancestors were more foolish and stupid than we and unable to realize what we find obvious relating to things in their native language and with their own native culture.

I cannot say that I am right and those who believe differently are wrong, but that is what I believe and why I believe it.

* Dea Anu or De Anu meaning 'goddess Anu'. This is also problematic as goddess is usually given in Old Irish as bande not de
* The names appear in the texts as Danand and Anand and later as Danann and Anann. These are both the genetive forms, however the assumed nominatives would be Danu and Anu which are the way they often appear in modern paganism.

Nuances of the words "Witchcraft" and "Witch" in Old Irish

 How's that for a boring blog title?
 Seriously though, one of the reasons that I tend to be such  strong advocate for an omniglot approach or at least attempting to have a basic understanding of terms in other languages that relate to our practices is that often there are nuances within those terms that are - quite literally - lost in translation. And we shape our understanding, our conceptualization, of things based on our own reference language. In psychology this is called the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis and it says that language shapes our thoughts and behaviors in line with the culture of that language.
   To give you an example, in English when we think about colors we think of shades on a spectrum of light, so that 'red' is certain frequency usually appearing as a fairly standard red which we then modify with words like 'light' or 'dark' (I'm speaking generally here of course). In Irish on the other hand color is not an abstract concept but a concrete one referring to actual physical colors and this gives us multiple words translated as the same color which aren't actually the same. Uaine is green but its a vivid, bright green, while glas is also green but can be a grey-green or sea green. Dearg is red, but so is rua; dearg being bright rua being more a natural hue. And in old Irish there are an array of words for red that all refer to different shades of blood or states of blood. My point here is that the languages themselves have different ways of understanding something as basic as the concept of colors.
   In English we have the word witch and it gets a lot of play in modern paganism. And I do mean a lot. When you read translations of Irish myths and texts you'll run across witches and references to witchcraft but here's where the language issue comes in because what is being translated as 'witchcraft' in English may have been one of at least 8 different words in Sengoidelc: ammaitecht, diabultacht, dolbud, gliccus, pisoca, sidaigecht, tuaichlecht, tuaithe. Each of these has distinct nuances and undertones that are important in context. I'm going to take a look at each term one by one so you can see what I mean. I'm also going to offer some modern equivalents, or at least my opinion on what modern equivalents might be, to help clarify.
  ~ Ammaitecht - defined by the eDIL as "a. profession or activity of an ammait, witchcraft, evil influence; b. foolishness". An ammait is defined as "a woman with supernatural powers, a witch, hag, spectre; a Fury" and also "a foolish woman". Interestingly however an ammait is also equated with a bandrui or female druid, meaning the two terms were seen as the same. This might explain why ammait and ammaitecht are also connected to foolishness as after the conversion period the Druids lost much status and were reduced in the law texts to the equals of fools*. So ammait and ammaitecht are associated with female Druids, and ammaitecht is seen as a profession.
 ~  Diabultacht - defined as "witchcraft, enchantment" this is pretty obviously based off the Latin loan word Diabul (Latin - diabolus) meaning the Devil. Indeed in the eDIL this type of magic is described as 'melancholia' or deep sadness. This is the sort of witchcraft that is classically associated with witches in a Christian framework, who sell their souls to the Devil and cause misery in other people. A more accurate definition from a pagan perspective might be diabolism,
  ~ Dolbud - defined as witchcraft or sorcery, the word also means "invention, formation, the act of forming". The example sentences used in the eDIL come from the Gaelic Journal: Irisleabhar na Gaedhilge and associate this type of witchcraft with the magic of forming geasa, or ritual taboos. This type of witchcraft then is focused on manifestation. 
  ~ Gliccus - defined as witchcraft or sorcery, gliccus also means cleverness, skill, and ingenuity. 
  ~ Pisoca - also piseoga, defined as witchcraft, sorcery, or magic, specifically the use of charms and spells. Bean phiseogach is translated as witch in English but clearly has the implication of a woman who uses charms and spells in particular. Probably closest to what modern pagans understand a witch to be. 
~ Sidaigecht - defined as witchcraft or magic. However this one is clearly more complex than just that definition. The base word "sidaig" refers to a dweller in a fairy hill, or in other words a fairy so this is rather particularly the magic of the sidhe. One might refer to this as fairy magic for better accuracy rather than witchcraft as we understand it.
 ~ Tuaichlecht - defined as "cunning, witchcraft" tuaichlecht is derived from the word for cunning 'tuaichles' and we see it in examples like "le draidhecht ocus tuaichlecht" (of magic and witchcraft). A better translation for this one based on a modern pagan understanding might be "cunningcraft" in the sense of the art of the cunningman or woman.
 ~ Tuaithe - defined as witchcraft or sorcery and related to the word tuath, meaning "northward, turning nothward, perverse, wicked". Tuaithe is a complex word that is associated with both the Good Folk (tuath-geinte) as well as witches (tuaithech or bantuaithech), and to make things more complex although the word tuath has strong negative associations bantuaithech is also defined as 'wise woman' and tuaithech by itself only means "a person with magic powers". We might tentatively conclude then that this particular type of witchcraft is associated with the Otherworld and can be sinister in nature or benevolent, rather like the sidhe themselves*.

    Looking at words for witch we have:
    ammait or benammait - both are feminine and as discussed above besides meaning witch are also  equated to a female Druid.
    badb - female only, originally the name of a War Goddess, later used for spectres, and eventually for human witches.
     ban-cumachtach - female, literally 'woman with magical powers'
     ban-cumachtach sithe - female - 'fairy witch'
     bean phiseogach - female, witch
     cailleach - female, hag, witch, crone
     cumachtach sithe - male, fairy witch
    doilbhtheach - male, "person with magical powers", practitioner of dolbud, witchcraft of manifestation (usually translated as sorcerer*)
    lucht piseog - 'sorcerers' but more literally 'people of witchcraft'
    tuathaid/tuaithech - male, person with supernatural power, witch ~ bantuathaid/bantuaithech - female, same as tuaithech, also defined as 'wise woman'




*We see a similar pattern of reducing the power of a term and its associated being with the word "Badb" which was the name of a Goddess and later became a word for a human witch. See Fergus Kelly's Guide To Early Irish Law for a more detailed discussion of the legal position of Druids in the law texts and of women who practiced magic.
*Tuaithe is the witchcraft that I practice so I may be a bit biased in how I perceive its definition.
 * in several cases the exact same thing being practiced by a woman will have her being called a witch in translation, but a man will be called a sorcerer, as we see with bean phiseogach and lucht piseogach. The only change between the terms is the gender of the practitioner(s).


copyright Morgan Daimler

Dirt Beneath Your Fingernails

  Recently a friend of mine wrote two very insightful blogs 'The Line in the Dirt' and 'Deepening the Line'. Both deal with looking at the way the pagan community, in general, approaches magical and ritual practice, the laziness that's rampant among practitioners, and the idea of what happens beyond basics.
  I've been thinking a lot since I read them, both because she raises some good questions and because she makes good points. Although we don't often like to admit it many people don't keep up with the basic practices that they learn early on. The things that may be seen as boring or routine tend to slowly erode from daily and then weekly practice until we have long time practitioners who don't know how to do very basic things, not from ignorance but from lack of practice. Like any other skill to be good at witchcraft and ritual requires effort and practice, not once in a while or when a situation calls for it but constantly. You can't be good at anything if you aren't doing it on a regular basis.
   The blogs also raised some excellent points about trusting our gut, both to seek genuine experiences and to know when someone is on the level. I think this is something that needs to be emphasized a lot more in the community. Too often we don't trust our gut but let politeness, expectation, or other people's opinions guide us, when it should be our own internal compass that we follow. If something magical or in ritual doesn't feel right, don't do it. If a person is supposed to be a great ritual leader or teacher but what they are doing or saying just doesn't gel with you then don't pretend it does (although you can be nice about it). I don't personally care how well known, well liked, or well respected a teacher is - if what they are saying rings false with me then I trust that feeling. If you are in ritual and you just aren't feeling or experiencing anything numinous then trust your gut about what you are feeling, rather than trying to force an experience you aren't actually having. I have stopped a ritual midway when I felt like absolutely nothing was happening, and I have changed the entire ritual plan during a ritual when the actual energy proved to be much more mellow than anticipated. Trust your gut people. I'll also add that when dealing with spirits and Otherworldly beings your gut is often a lot smarter than your head.
   The biggest issue that caught my attention in the blogs though wasn't something explicit but something underlying a lot of the wider points being made. Why do our leaders and teachers let us down? Why are we dissapointed when the people we idolize can't actually do the things they claim they can? Why do we let the basics slip so easily? And I think in the end it comes down to one simple thing that I see as a very widespread occurrence throughout the pagan and witchcraft communities - people want everything handed to them in neat little lesson plans and easy to follow books. And that's fine to a point because we all start somewhere and in the beginning especially those lesson plans and books are our stepping stones and guide posts. We need them to find our way. We need teachers who can show us what to do and how to do it. But the problem is that a time comes when the training wheels have to come off, whatever religion or magical practice you follow, and you have to start doing for your self. The nicely maintained road ends and only the trackless woods remain, and its up to you, by yourself, to forge on anyway. And many people don't like getting sweaty and dirty. They don't like the lack of certainty, the dark unknown, the unanswerable 'what now?' that looms ahead of them. People want a life that is neatly ordered and organized, and especially in witchcraft, at least my witchcraft, there is none of that. I can teach you the rules of safety but I can't promise you'll be safe - in fact I can almost guarantee if you are actually out there doing then you will stumble and fall and get hurt sometimes. I can describe the experiences, but I can't experience it for you, anymore than telling you what dirt under my fingernails feels likes can really make you understand the sensation of it. You have to get out there and get dirty, dig your fingers into the earth, make your own trail, your own experiences. No one else can do that for you.
   So go out, my friends, and get your hands dirty. Walk into those woods, where the trail ends, and make your own way. It won't always be easy and it won't always be fun - although you may be surprised how often it is - but it will be worth it.

Wodan

   Many people are familiar with the Norse God Odhinn, but less well known is his German counterpart Wodan who is similar but not identical. Wodan (Old High German Woutan) although almost certainly derived from the same root as Odhinn has several distinct characteristics. In today's blog I would like to discuss Wodan as we see him in the German material. 

Duncan Royale German "Odin" statue

  The name Wodan or Wotan comes from Woutan which is from the older Indo-European root wodenaz, meaning "raging, mad, inspired" (American Heritage Dictionary, n.d.). It is from this deity name through the Old English that English speakers get the word "Wednesday" - Woden's day - although this has been lost in German, replaced with Mittwoch (literally "middle week"). And this root is also where the name Odhinn comes from.
   Jakob Grimm, writing at the end of the 19th century, was firmly convinced that Wodan was the primary God of the Germans, comparing him to both Mercury and Jupiter (Grimm, 1888). Although, like Odhinn, Wodan is associated with war and battle he seems to have a more generally benevolent nature being associated with the harvest and produce of the land as well as gifts and blessings. Wodan in this sense is referred to as a harvest God who would be prayed to in the fall for a good crop (Grimm, 1888). He was much more a God of the common man in this view, a deity who would be petitioned and looked to for a family's security not only from physical dangers but also from hunger. He was a deity, in this view, of prosperity and abundance, whose blessing would ensure a household's success. As Grimm explains:
  "If we are to sum up in brief the attributes of this god, he is the all-pervading creative and formative power, who bestows shape and beauty on men and all things, from whom proceeds the gift of song and the management of war and victory, on whom at the same time depends the fertility of the soil, nay wishing, and all highest gifts and blessings" (Grimm, 1888). 
  However Wodan also has a less benevolent side associated with the Wild Hunt. In the Germanic areas the Wild Hunt is often led by Wodan, Frau Hulde, or both together, and sometimes may led by Frau Perchta or Frau Gauden [literally 'Mrs. Wodan], who led groups of dead children or witches through the sky and was seen as good a omen of abundant crops in the coming year (Berk, & Spytma, 2002).The Wild Hunt travels in the air, and appears as a group of dark riders, led by a Huntsmen who may be headless, with a pack of fearsome hounds, accompanied by a horde of spirits who sometimes appear as the newly dead or battle dead (Jones, 2003). Often in folklore the Hunt was said to ride in late fall and winter, particularly during the twelve nights of Yule. Grimm tells us that in Germany it was believed the Hunt rode during the time from Christmas to Twelfth Night or whenever the storm winds blew (Grimm, 1888). Seeing the Hunt could be an ill-omen and the Hunt itself could kill or drive a person mad, but conversely in some areas it was believed meeting the Hunt bravely and politely could earn a person great reward. There are several folk tales, like the story of Wod, the Wild Huntsman, where the protagonist meets the Hunt and because he deals well and wisely with them comes away with a reward of food or gold . Showing proper respect would earn a person a reward, but rudeness would result in the person being given a human limb, freshly cut off a victim, or in extreme cases his own dead child. In some stories if a person mocked the Hunt they would turn on them tear the person to pieces (Berk, & Spytma, 2002; Grimm, 1888). The best protection from the Wild Hunt is avoiding them by not traveling at night, especially during Yule or other dangerous times. Shelter can also be sought at the first sound of hunting horn or hounds in the air. However, should those fail or not be possible and should you meet the Hunt, and do not feel like taking your chances with them, there is this charm from 14th century Germany:
Woden’s host and all his men
Who are bearing wheels and willow twigs
Broken on the wheel and hanged.
You must go away from here. (Gundarsson, trans. Höfler; Berk, & Spytma, 2002).
   In the end then when we look at the German Wodan we see a complex deity who is both a god of the abundance of the harvest and the fearsome leader of the Wild Hunt, a god of fertility and feeding the living as well as of death and the dead. Ultimately we can say that he rewards those who show him respect and earn his favor, but punishes - even torments - those who offend or insult him. While in some ways he resembles his Norse counterpart he also has distinct features as well, which should be appreciated.

References:
American Heritage Dictionary (n.d.) https://www.ahdictionary.com/word/indoeurop.html
Grimm, J., (1888). Teutonic Mythology, volume 1

Jones, M (2003) The Wild Hunt. Retrieved from www.maryjones.us/jce/wildhunt.html

Berk, A., and Spytma, W., (2002) Penance, Power, and Pursuit, On the Trail of the Wild Hunt

Ways to Feel More Connected to the Morrigan

 One question that I am asked on a fairly regular basis is what should people who are interested in connecting spiritually to the Morrigan  or who are just beginning to honor Her do? So I thought it might be helpful for me to post a list of general suggestions here, although keep in mind that these are only my ideas and what I have found works well for me. I tend to be a very sensory person so you'll note a lot of this involves sensory experiences - sound, sight, touch - and that may appeal to some people and not to others.

1. Obviously the very first thing I'll suggest is to read as many of the old myths and stories as you can, preferably as close to the originals as possible. The re-tellings are nice, like Lady Gregory's Gods and Fighting Men, but they often take liberties with the stories and change details that make big differences. You can find many of the older stories at Mary Jones Celtic Literature Collective and the stories which feature the Morrigan especially include the Cath Mag Tuired Cunga, Cath Maige Tuired, Lebor Gabala Erenn, and many of the tales in the Ulster Cycle. Beyond that there are several modern authors who have written in detail about the Morrigan that are worth reading - my favorite is Angelique Gulermovich Epstien's "War Goddess: The Morrigan and Her Germano-Celtic Counterparts".
2. If possible you should go and visit the places the stories happen in. Smell the air, touch the earth, feel the wind. Stand in the places that the Morrigan herself is said to have stood in, is still said to stand in, like Uaimh na gCat, and feel her presence there. If that's not possible then quiet meditation wherever you are is good, but I am one of those pesky people who thinks going to Ireland should be a goal for those who follow herself. Even if its a once in a lifetime goal. Until then of course you can do your best to feel connected to the locations of the myths, to the places where the Gods are invested in the land itself by learning as much as possible about them. 
3. Set up a  small shrine to her. I'm a fan of statues and artwork and there is a huge amount to choose from for the Morrigan. My favorite statue is Dryad Design's Morrigan, which I bought and then painted myself. There are also a variety of great art prints out there. Beyond that personalize as you see fit. I like shrines because they provide a quiet place to sit and visually reflect on the Gods, as well as being a place to light candles, burn incense, and make offerings.
   
4. Speaking of making offerings. A good way to establish a connection to any deity is to begin making offerings to them. For the Morrigan my own preferences are milk (or cream), whiskey, or bread, although I often offer different things spontaneously as well if I feel drawn to. 
5. Pray. This tends to be less popular with some people but it really is a good way to connect. Whatever works best for you, whether that's formal memorized prayers or spontaneous speaking from the heart, the point is just to reach out and speak to the Gods.
6. Music. I really love music as a vehicle for altered states, trancework, and just plain feeling more strongly connected to something. When it comes to the Morrigan my personal favorites are Omnia's Morrigan, Darkest Era's The Morrigan, Heather Dale's The Morrigan, and Cruachan's Brown Bull of Cooley and The Morrigan's Call. 
7. My final suggestion would be to get a piece of jewelry that represents or symbolizes the Morrigan for you, that you can wear to help you feel more connected to her. This is largely a psychological thing for the person, a physical token to touch when you need that tactile reminder. Over time though it can become sacred in its own right as its blessed or empowered.

So there you go, a short basic list but one that I find effective. Many or most of these may just be common sense but I have found they are all helpful, especially if done regularly. Having a regular spiritual practice is vital in my opinion and this is how I incorporate the Morrigan into that.

Random Irish Mythology Trivia

* Nuada is left handed - he lost his right arm during the fight with the Fir Bolg warrior Sreng, and we are told it was his shield arm, meaning his sword arm is his left arm 

* Speaking of Nuada's arm, when it is healed it is the original flesh arm that is restored, which Miach acquires and holds against his body for six days, then strikes it with burnt bulrushes for another three. Which makes me wonder where the arm was for the intervening 7 years. 

* When Miach heals Nauda's severed arm by replacing the silver prosthetic with the original flesh arm he is paid with the silver arm - which Nuada has been wearing and using for about 7 years

*The Lia Fail would cry out under every rightful king of Ireland - until Cu Chulain came along and hit it for not crying out under him. The Lia Fail is also the only one of the Four Treasures of the Tuatha De Danann that has no set owner. Each of the other three - cauldron, sword, and spear - belong to someone who is at one point High King of the Gods.

* one of Lugh's epithet's in the Lebor Gabala Erenn is "spear-slaughterous"; the great spear which is one of the four treasures of the Tuatha De Danann belongs to him.

* the Dagda's famous magic club doesn't actually belong to him - its only on loan. He obtained it while searching for a cure for his son Cermait who had been killed by Lugh for sleeping with Lugh's wife. He came across three men who were arguing over their inheritence which included a club which could kill at one end and revive at the other. The Dagda asked if he could borrow it and promptly used it to kill all three and revive his son, who shamed him into reviving the three men as well. After that he basically refused to return it, but an agreement was reached that he would permanently borrow it, giving the sun, moon, sea, and land as sureties against it. 

* In several stories the Dagda is said to be "the king of the sidhe of Ireland" and it's implied he has authority over all the other fairy hills and their rulers.

* Although the Lebor Gabala Erenn gives an extensive list of the Tuatha De Danann and how they each died in myth, in the Cath Maige Tuired's list of battle deaths Macha is the only female listed among the warriors. In every account regardless of source she is always said to have died with Nuada at the hands of Balor of the Evil Eye. 

* At the end of the Tain Bo Cuiligne the two bulls, who are actually cursed swineherds shape-changed, battle and kill each other. In this way the spell binding them is broken and they are freed. 

* The famous Queen Medb of Connacht was killed by a piece of hard cheese - it was used like a sling-stone by a man avenging his mother's death. She was killed while bathing. 

* In some versions of Cu Chulainn's death a crow lands near the hero who has been disemboweled and has tied himself to a pillar stone. The bird begins to peck at his entrails while he is still alive and Cu Chulainn laughs at it before dying. 

References:
Lebor Gabala Erenn
Cath Maige Tuired Cunga
Cath Maige Tuired
How the Dagda Got His Magic Staff
Aided Meidbe
Aided Conculaind
Aislinge Oenguso
De Gabail in tSida

When Fairytales Have Teeth

  I was teaching a class last week about the types of Otherworldly spirits more likely to be found during the winter, and I had one of those moments that will sometimes happen where I opened my mouth and spoke off the cuff, as we were discussing the Unseelie Court. I pointed out to the people attending the class that contrary to what most of the young adult novels and paranormal romance currently on the market like to say, the Unseelie Court aren't the emo bad boys of the Fey world who just need a big hug and some understanding. Although its trendy now to see the darker Fey as just as kind and helpful as the Seelie Court, merely grumpy and misunderstood, in folklore there was usually a good reason people feared them and that reason was their tendency towards homicidal reactions and  eating people.

  Traditionally in some areas, notably Scotland, the Otherworld was divided into two groups, the Seelie or blessed court, who generally mean us well, and the Unseelie, or "unblessed" court, who generally mean us harm. It is of course not nearly that simple and there is a lot of fluidity between the two groups; it is not a set and rigid division. If you offend the Seelie Fey they will not hesitate to harm you, and in some cases the Dark Court can be helpful to an individual. But if we look at the bulk of fairy stories from different cultures over the course of written history it is pretty clear that people feared certain types of the Other Crowd for good reason. 

   Water horses (an each uisce) trick people into riding them only to race back to their watery homes, drown, and eat the people. Red Caps dye their hats in human blood. Bogles can bring blight to crops or attack people. And so it goes, with those who are usually described as Unseelie being found in that court because they are malicious towards people without provocation. Because, you see, its not that you have to worry about transgressing and angering them, or being rude and angering them, or anything like that; all you have to do is be at the wrong place at the wrong time and get their attention and they will be inclined to do you harm. Like a tornado or a hungry apex predator, it won't be personal but it could be deadly. 

  It is possible for an individual to earn the favor of a member of the Unseelie Court, just as its possible for someone to anger the normally benevolent Seelie Court, but generally speaking its dangerous to fall into a mindset of seeing them as safer than traditional folklore paints them, or otherwise Romanticizing them. You can choose to interact with more dangerous spirits, but part of the key to doing so safely is the constant awareness that they are dangerous. If you get too comfortable with those beings who we have the most traditional protections against - and with good reason - then eventually something bad will happen. Because all those myths and stories exist because of people who have learned the hard way, just like the reason we're told not to feed wild bears at parks. 

  Everything in the Otherworld is not safe and not all of the beings who dwell there mean us well. And quite frankly its arrogance on our part to think we know more or better than our ancestors, than the cunning folk and wise people who spent life times practicing their skill. If all these Beings were really so safe and easy to deal with, with just the right attitude, then anyone and everyone would have always done so. And we would have no stories of harm, and maiming and death at the hands of these spirits, nor would witches have been seen as dealing with dangerous things. No, the truth is that we cannot simply decide through positive thinking and a belief in the goodness of all spirits that the Other Crowd are harmless; our opinions do not make them a bunch of watered down angels with angst. 

   I have a lot of respect for grizzly bears and their place in the ecosystem but that doesn't mean I ever for a moment confuse them with teddy bears and think I can walk up and give a wild one a hug. Or one in captivity for that matter. Because a wild bear, no matter how noble and beautiful to our eyes, is still a wild bear and its going to do what its nature tells it to do, which may mean ignoring us or may mean ripping chunks out of us. Just so the Dark Court Fey may ignore us or they may hurt us, and this is why there are so many folk protections against them. 

Fight the Bad Meme - Blog Edition

  I've started a new thing on my social media page, which I call "fight the bad meme", because it seems like every single pagan holiday that rolls around sees an influx of poorly researched memes purporting to 'educate' people about the real history of that holiday and it's traditions. Usually most to all of the information presented in the meme is utter bollocks. So after I've seen the bad info going around enough to think its probably catching on as urban legend-ish fact I'll research the actual history and then post a little educational blurb. After some thought I decided that its worth sharing that information here as well, because really the more the accurate information is spread the better. 

- No, Horus wasn't born on Christmas Day. Neither Horus nor Osiris were born on or around December 25th. As far as I know the major deity births in the Egyptian pantheon were celebrated in early August and were tied to the cyclic flooding of the Nile. There are however more than a dozen figures named Horus in Egyptian mythology so it is not entirely impossible that one could have been celebrated on December 25th but it would have been an odd time given the way the calendar system worked - lunar based would have meant timing to a specific day each year in general would be unlikely*. I have found a reference to one Horus being born on December 25th but I can't date it back earlier than a 1907 book whose purpose was to connect Horus to Jesus so I just don't find it at all credible. I'll keep looking but as of now unless someone can show me actual evidence of an ancient pagan Egyptian festival on that date, I am standing by my statement that Horus was born on an epagomenal day, one of the five extra days in the Egyptian calendar year which occured in late August. Also Horus wasn't born of a virgin - since there's a story about a golden penis being involved in his conception its pretty clear on that point - Horus wasn't baptized, didn't have disciples, didn't raise a dead guy, wasn't crucified, and didn't have all the same epithets as Jesus. Horus does have some very interesting mythology, you should read up on him if it interests you.

- Kissing under the Mistletoe isn't a pagan holdover. Kissing under the mistletoe as far as I can find is a later practice, referenced in print to the 1800's, and is neither specifically Druidic nor Norse. Mistletoe was seen as sacred by the Druids, but we have no sources indicating it was hung up or used in fertility rites, although it was seen as having properties relating to fertility. It was hung in the middle ages by several western European cultures to ward off witches and baneful magic, but again no kissing underneath it. In Norse myth it was the plant used to kill the God Balder, and may or may not have become associated during the pagan period as symbol of peace (I can't track down anything definitive). Only during the Victorian period did a story emerge as far as I can find of Balder not dying/being resurrected and the mistletoe being a symbol of Frigga's joy at his return. And we all know what I think of the Victorians rewriting the myths. What is clear is that it was during this period that it became a Christmas practice to hang mistletoe and kiss beneath it, with a berry being removed for each kiss given, until all the berries were gone.

- There is no Scandinavian fertility God named Yule - Yule, in Norse Jol, is the name of the midwinter holiday and is applied to deities like Odin as byname, as in "Jolfadr" but is not itself the name of a God.

- The Oak and Holly Kings don't pre-date 1948. The oak and holly kings are thoroughly  modern and neither ancient nor Celtic, although they are based on older motifs. The idea for the two kings comes from Robert Graves book "The White Goddess", not from pagan Irish or Celtic culture.
  *I'm editing to clarify for those who may not be understanding my larger point here - I am not contesting that the motif of seasonal rulers fighting for dominion of portions of the year exists historically. However my point remains, and I stand by it, that the Oak King and the Holly King as named personages do not pre-date Robert Graves book. There are multiple memes circulating that claim explicitly that they do, and arguing that a modern creation based on older motifs is itself ancient is akin to arguing that since modern paraffin candles are based on older theories paraffin candles are ancient, even though paraffin wasn't invented until the 1850's. 

- Christmas Trees are a 16th Century Protestant Christian Tradition - I hate to ruin everyone's "they stole our pagan traditions" fun but the Christmas tree as it is today is a Christian thing developed in Protestant Germany circa the 16th century. The practice of bringing in evergreen boughs and such to decorate is far older and can be found in cultures from China to Egypt to Europe, and seems to represent a basic human urge to be reminded that life still exists in the depths of winter. It is also clearly true that trees in general were sacred in several pagan faiths and specific sacred trees, groves of trees and the concept of a world tree can be found in both Celtic and Norse pagan religions, as well as the use of carved God posts or God poles. But the killing an evergreen tree and decorating it at midwinter thing simply has no evidence to back it up prior to about 500 years ago. This does not however diminish the sacred symbolism of trees in paganism, or the value of the practice in modern paganism. I suspect it was a conflation of the older pagan veneration of trees and the practice of decorating with evergreen boughs with the later Christian practice of bringing in a tree and decorating it that caused the confusion with this one.

As an addendum to this there's a particularly atrocious meme going around with a festive Christmas tree picture that claims to explain the Pagan origins of the Christmas tree:
* First of all it claims that a tree was brought in so the wood spirits would be kept warm during the cold winter months. A. Why would you kill a tree to do this? I mean you basically just destroyed their home and killed the spirit of the tree. This is not how animism works. B. Wood spirits living in your house is Not A Good Idea. Seriously there's reams of folklore on how to keep this from happening, why on earth would you think people would do it on purpose? C. Also seriously, why do wood spirits need human help to be kept warm exactly? Also what about prior to December when its cold? Do you keep the tree rotting in your house until spring?
* Next, it says food and treats are kept on the tree to feed the spirits. Awesome, congratulations old school pagan your pre-modern technology home now has mice. Well, probably more mice anyway. Out in the open, crawling on this tree to get to the exposed food. Which is what mice do.
* Next it says bells were hung to chime when an appreciative spirit was present. I'm going to ignore the assumption that bells were common enough to even have to do this with and just point out that in most folklore bells are a protection *against* spirits. So you're covering your tree spirit house in anti-spirit charms. Yeah, this is probably not going to work very well.
* Finally it says a five pointed star called a pentagon is placed on top to represent the five elements. Okay, first a pentagon has five sides, not five points, that's a pentagram. Second not all cultures used five elements, and in particular the Celtic and Norse didn't. So the cultures that had evergreen trees that could have been brought inside, wouldn't have used a five element system.

- Pagan Women Were Equal to Men. This isn't holiday themed but I keep seeing it pop up so I may as well address it. No. Pagan women were not equal socially to men before Christianity took power because every culture was different. We might argue that Pagan Irish women had a pretty good deal but pagan Roman women certainly didn't, so we can't make a broad general statement. 

*the calendar was lunar and also tied to the heliacal rising of Sirius, but neither of these would support the idea of Horus being born on December 25th. 

  References:
Horus:
http://www.globalegyptianmuseum.org/glossary.aspx?id=148
https://web.eecs.utk.edu/~mclennan/BA/FDOT.html
https://www.academia.edu/1826559/Egyptian_Religious_Calendar-CDXIII_Great_Year_of_Ra_Wp-renepet 
Mistletoe: (ignore references to Balder being resurrected, that's newer myth) 
http://www.history.com/news/ask-history/why-do-we-kiss-under-the-mistletoe
http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/explainer/2010/12/whats_the_deal_with_mistletoe.html
http://www.livescience.com/32901-why-we-kiss-under-mistletoe.html
The Oak and Holly Kings:
http://www.maryjones.us/jce/whitegoddess.html
http://www.manygods.org.uk/articles/festivals/wheel.shtml
Christmas trees:
http://www.history.com/topics/christmas/history-of-christmas-trees
http://www.realchristmastrees.org/dnn/education/historyofchristmastrees.aspx
Folkard, P., (2015)  Plant Lore, Legends, and Lyrics Embracing the Myths, Traditions, Superstitions, and Folk-Lore of the Plant Kingdom
Fraser, J., (2002) The Golden Bough
Chamber, R., (1939) Chamber's Journal
Pagan Women:
http://www.womenintheancientworld.com/women_in_ancient_rome.htm
http://www.libraryireland.com/SocialHistoryAncientIreland/III-XV-2.php
http://www.vikinganswerlady.com/wedding.shtml

The Value of Darkness

So I write a lot about the value of darkness and recently I've been making memes about it as well, such as this one:

and this one:

  

When I posted the first example on facebook yesterday someone asked me, privately, what exactly I meant by 'darkness' which got me thinking about the larger issue of what I was trying to say and why.

First a bit of backstory. This all began a bit tongue in cheek, because I was tired of seeing so many posts and memes about the Light, be the Light, look for the Light, and so on all of which played into and reinforced the idea that darkness = evil or ignorance. Personally I have very light sensitive eyes and am prone to migraines so the Light (tm) isn't exactly my favorite thing in a physical sense. I also am not a fan of the either/or dichotomy that is so very pervasive and tells us that if light is good then darkness is bad, when the reality is that both contain good as well as bad qualities.

I started to think about how undervalued the Darkness is, how many people fail to appreciate it as a force in itself that has many positive qualities. Our senses are sharper at night and we become more aware, not less, of what's around us. We pay more attention. Many animals are active at night, and some people are naturally nocturnal. the night in many ways is a time of beginnings, and indeed Caesar tells us in his 'Gallic Wars' that the Celts reckoned time as beginning in darkness and proceeding into light: "...they compute the divisions of every season, not by the number of days, but of nights; they keep birthdays and the beginnings of months and years in such an order that the day follows the night" (Gallic wars, 6:18).

This idea of the darkness being the beginning of each new day is related, in Celtic thought, again according to Caesar, to the belief that the tribes of Gaul descended from the god "Dis" or Dis Pater, a chthonic god of the underworld, the dead, fertility, and wealth who is often thought to be Secullos viewed through the lens of the Interpetatio Romana. In Ireland Dis would be equivalent, I think, to Donn, as the primal ancestor and keeper of the house of the dead. Many people these days are at best wary of so-called Dark Gods and at worst phobic of them but the chthonic, psychopomp, and death deities deserve a place as much as any other Gods. They've suffered from the same bad PR that darkness in general has gotten, but rejecting the Gods of the underworld and death doesn't help us in any way, it only encourages us to fear the Powers associated with an inevitable transition that all living things eventually face. I have found an amazing amount of peace in establishing relationships with these deities, and in connecting to them I've come to better understand the connection between the balance of good and bad that is found in all things.

The darkness and dark times are often endings but they are also beginnings, and represent the starting point of new things, the dark of the womb and the dark of the seed buried in the earth. The darkness of the very first stirring of a new idea or project, before it has physically manifested at all. Many death and chthonic Gods are also associated with fertility in one way or another and I think this is a logical association both between the cycle of birth, life, and death and also between the darkness as a source of life and growth.

The darkness is a time of rest and renewal, the time when many people sleep; a time of dreams. There is a healing, soothing quality to darkness both physically and mentally. The night can be a time that offers physical rest from the activities of the day, and the stillness that comes when the rest of the human world is sleeping can offer a time of peace and introspection. And some people find the night and its energy empowering and exciting.

The darkness is strongly associated with the unconscious mind and with the negative qualities people can have or experience including anger, fear, pain, hatred, and jealousy. However rejecting these things doesn't make them disappear, anymore than turning on all the lights in your house makes the night cease to exist - it only creates for us the illusion that the things we fear or dislike about ourselves or others are gone. The only way to truly conquer negative feelings is to confront them directly and own that they are part of us, that we as people are not perfect or filled only with the feelings we want to have. I caused myself more misery when I was younger trying to pretend to be happy when I wasn't than I ever felt when I faced the sadness head on and let myself feel it. We can understand that we have negative aspects to ourselves, that we strongly feel negative things, and that these are part of us but that they don't define or control us.

The darkness represents the unconscious and that's part of why we fear it, I think, because it holds an honesty that the consciousness of light and day do not, but does our fear of what we might find at night, or in our dreams, or in our mind really make the darkness itself bad? Or is it instead a place where we can grow by facing the things within ourselves that, once overcome, can make us stronger? We are taught, many of us, at a young age to avoid pain and fear and negative emotions, as we are taught to fear the dark, but avoiding them only hides them - we must deal with them in order to make them part of us, so that we control them and they don't dictate our actions.

There is as much negative in the Light as there is positive in the Darkness. There is balance. The Light can overexpose and destroy, it can burn, it can dissect what it focus on. The Light in its way is a better illusion than any Darkness, and the monsters of the Light are the fiercer.

To me the Darkness is beautiful. It is comforting, nurturing, protecting, accepting; it offers a chance for growth and empowerment. So I write about the positive qualities of Darkness, how it nurtures, how it strengthens, how it protects. We all begin our lives in Darkness, in the womb, and ultimately return to the Dark in the grave, in death. Darkness is with us throughout our lives, and there is much good to be found in it, if we are willing to see beyond the old ideas of light = good/ dark = bad.




copyright 2015 Morgan Daimler

The Influence of Fiction and Hollywood on Paganism

       I've been pagan for a couple decades now and I've observed a couple trends over that time. One of the most perplexing to me is the way that popular fiction - by which I mean novels, television, and movies - shapes and influences paganism. The reason it perplexes me is because the things that get picked up and absorbed into the pagan paradigm are often based in plot points and rarely fit well or make sense (to me) in actual practice. I've had friends argue, however, that this reflects a normal growth and evolution within the wider community, creating the dynamic which is modern paganism. From this viewpoint modern paganism is woven as much from current fiction and popular culture as it is from past mythology and belief.
     I'll provide a few examples of things that I have noticed and the sources I attribute to them, based on apparent corollary relationships. This isn't a scientific study, just personal observation. 

     Within a few years of the release of the movie The Craft I noticed an upswing in people condemning love magic as dangerous, calling on the made-up deity Manon, and a sudden trend towards people looking for an elemental balance in their groups, either using zodiac signs or affinity to elements. After Practical Magic came out I noticed a huge surge in people claiming to be natural witches. The Mists of Avalon (book and later movie) created a belief in a division between female witches and male druids (exacerbated by another fiction novel marketed as non-fiction), and forehead tattoos . The Charmed television series provided an array of beliefs I've run across in the pagan community, including the belief that magic shouldn't be done for personal gain, that familiars guide and protect new witches, in "whitelighters" as healers, and that each witch has a special power.

    Thor and the Avengers movies as well as the comics are other good examples. How many times have I seen, recently, people saying Thor and Loki are brothers, even though that's a complete modern fiction? That Sif is a warrior? People who have never read the Eddas or any other Norse myth are incorporating Marvel Thor's mythology instead. 

     And then there is the way that some modern pagans have redefined fairylore based on popular fiction and movies, so that fairies become exclusively tiny winged figures, and guardians of nature. I'm giving a side eye to Fern Gully and the Tinkerbell movies here, although they are only the most recent pop culture result of a slightly older trend going back to the Victorian era.
      Why does any of this matter? Well, what I struggle with is the way that many of these beliefs are not rooted in anything and cannot be explained. When I asked someone telling me that Druids had to be men and I should be a witch why that was so he could only say because it was "how it was always done" even though that isn't true outside of fiction. When I asked someone claiming familiars protect and guide new witches how her cat does that she could not explain except to say that it was what her friend told her. When I asked the woman who was lecturing me about never doing magic for personal gain but only ever to help other people why the old cunningfolk were paid for their services; well she just gave me a dirty look and stormed off. When I asked the girl telling me that she needed someone who was an "air" person to complete her Circle why she needed elemental balance - what would happen when she had it? Would the group size be limited to 4? What about traditional covens of 13? - she couldn't tell me.
     Paganism already suffers from a lack of understanding of our own beliefs and cosmology; many people repeat beliefs by rote not from a place of comprehension. And we should understand what we believe, the meaning and purpose behind what we say. We should know why we do what we do. Grafting on beliefs that are rootless, that have nothing behind them except an author's need to forward or complicate a plotline, does not help us; in fact can only hurt by muddying already misunderstood waters. You can't explain a belief that is based in the writers need to keep their characters from solving things too easily, or which was meant to set up the main conflict of the story. That is fiction - our religions aren't.
   The thing is I love pagan fiction and I think its wonderful - I love that it guides people to eventually finding the religions. I love that the quality of pagan fiction is getting better and that we have more and more books and movies which more accurately reflect the real beliefs, especially the old fairy beliefs. But when the line between the entertaining fiction and the actual religion blurs to a degree that people are practicing the fiction, without understanding it for what it is...that's where I see the problem. It frustrates me to see some of it, although it may be an inevitable evolution of religion based on how we tell our stories now - we don't grow up on the old myths and tales we grow up on Charmed and Disney Tinkerbell...and that shapes our beliefs. I enjoy pagan fiction quite a lot, but I understand it for what it is - entertainment.

Modern Prayers in Old Irish

This is something I've been working on to submit for a anthology* which is looking for modern Celtic Reconstructionist prayers. I thought it would be interesting to offer basic prayers in Old Irish to different Gods.
It is still a work in progress, but this is what I have so far:

Guide Nuada 

Nuada Argetlam

Nuada fo dí Ríg

Nuada narsheng

Guidim do a bhennach

Guidim do a eolas

Guidim do a anacht

Do chairdes form

D’ecne lemm

Do sciath úasum

Dobiur sin duit

Bronntas do bronntas

Nuada Ríg mórda

Prayer to Nuada

Nuada Silver Arm

Nuada Twice King

Nuada Noble-fair

I pray for your blessing

I pray for your guidance

I pray for your protection

Your friendship on me

Your wisdom with me

Your shield over me

I give this to you

A gift for a gift

Nuada mighty king

Guide Macha ar Nert 

I pray to you,

Oh Macha,

Sovereign Lady,

Queen by her

own hand,

Deadly crow

of many battles,

May I be fierce

May I be strong

May I be unyielding

In my own strife

Prayer to Macha for Strength

Guidimm cuccut,

a Mhacha,

Banfhlaithes,

Rígan tree

feisin laim,

Fionóg bhadbda

de ilchathaigecht

Beinn adlond

Beinn nert

Beinn taetach

I mu gliada céin

* information on the anthology can be found here, deadline is January 2016

Samhain isn't pronounced Sam-hane and other truths

    I should probably have titled this post "Grumpy Old Polytheist Ramblings". But there's a lot of so-called educational memes floating around the community right now that are a lot more opinion than fact and I finally decided that it was time to address some specific points. With facts.
    Samhain is pronounced "Sow-win" or "Sow-wen" in Irish and Samhuinn is pronounced "Sah-vihn" in Scottish Gaidhlig; there are of course minor variations with different dialects but in no Celtic language is it pronounced "Sam-hane". As far as I can tell pronouncing it that way comes from non-Irish speakers reading the word and applying English phonetic pronunciation rules to it. But lets be honest here - that doesn't make the mispronounced version correct. That's like me pronouncing "America" Uhm-ehr-ee-suh" and saying that's a legit pronunciation that should be accepted because that's how I read it phonetically. Or for that matter like me saying p-hon-eht-ih-cullee is an okay way to say phonetically. At this point there are enough resources and online pronunciation guides that there's no reason for people not to get Samhain correct. I mean seriously people everyone insists on using the Old Irish spelling for Lughnasadh but people manage to say it Loo-nah-sah just fine, so lets stop acting like mispronouncing Samhain is an okay thing to do.
   And no, there is absolutely no Samhain God of the Dead, or Sam Hane God of the Dead either.
   And, for the record, there is no ancient Celtic tree zodiac (or animal zodiac either), and the whole "Tree Calendar" thing was made up in 1948 by Robert Graves - the Druids never used it and wouldn't have had any clue what it was if you could somehow time travel back a couple thousand years and ask them about it. The Tree Ogham is a real thing but it had nothing to do with dates or months, just with associations between Ogham letters and specific trees; there's also a Bird Ogham where each letter is associated with a bird, and Pig Ogham, and so on. I guess Graves didn't think the Pig Ogham was romantic enough to base a calendar system on...
    Speaking of hard truths - let me burst another bubble for everyone. There is no Celtic pantheon. Really it's true. When you see those lists of deities labeled "Celtic pantheon" in all those books its really just a random list of deities from the different Celtic cultures hodge-podged together. But here's the problem inherent in that - a pantheon by definition is the gods of a specific religion or people, and there was *never* a single over-arching Celtic religion or people. Celtic has always been a term of convenience for describing similar groups based on shared cultural themes, art, and related languages. The mythology, even for the so-called Pan-Celtic deities like Lugh/Llew/ Lugus who are found across the different Celtic culture is different. The Morrigan was a major deity in Ireland but there isn't any evidence of her in Gaul; we find Cernunnos in Gaul but not elsewhere. Even within a single culture their were regional Gods who might be known in this location but not over in this other location. The reason that matters is that in a pantheon you should be able to find stories of the Gods interacting with each other, or at least appearing together, there should be a cohesion of belief and cultus that only occurs in groups of deities that have a genuine unifying factor. You might be able to argue for an Irish Pantheon or a Gaulish Pantheon, but understand that Celtic as such is pretty meaningless for religious purposes.
   Also, although we may not like to admit it, yes the ancient Celtic cultures - and pretty much all ancient cultures - practiced human sacrifice. This isn't some kind of nasty propaganda, its just a fact. When we're going around trying to act like that sort of thing never happened because it goes against our modern mores it just makes us look kind of silly.
   And since I'm on a roll, the Good Folk are not elementals and not all of them are nature spirits. That whole twee little garden sprite thing is a very Victorian idea. They aren't angels, and they also aren't our special spirit guide friends. Some of them may care about humanity at large but a great many them don't. Sometimes they help us, but sometimes they harm us and we can't just decide they are all sweet and gentle and make it be so.
   One final note, on the subject of hard truths - there is a difference between an opinion and a fact. An opinion is how you feel about something. In my opinion dark chocolate is better than milk chocolate. A fact is an objective reality. Chocolate is made from cacao beans. The first example is my opinion, other people may disagree or have different opinions and that's fine; the second example is a fact and is not open to someone else's disagreement. In other words you might think milk chocolate is better than dark, and that's your opinion which is fine, but you can't just decide that chocolate is actually made from coffee beans because that simply isn't true. In spirituality some things are opinion, and some things are facts. Its really important to know the difference between the two.
"Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts." - Daniel Patrick Moynihan

Reflecting Darkness

So Friday is my birthday. I've been thinking a lot about that, and about something that was posted in a group today about the variety of witches out there:

internet meme; anonymous

     There are many, many approaches to witchcraft and some are completely different from others, but it is true that the vast majority of witches in the Western world seem to follow what is generally termed a "right hand path" or benevolent witchcraft. This approach usually adheres to the things mentioned above: a belief in a Westernized understanding of karma, following the Wiccan Rede, and belief in the Rule of Three. Because this is the most popular approach it can sometimes be seen in groups as the only acceptable approach, particularly with an emphasis on witchcraft that focuses on healing, blessing, protection, and a strong ethic of not causing harm.
However....
I'm a witch.* I have been a witch now for more than 24 years.
   I don't believe in karma*, in the sense that what we do comes back to us in a reward/punishment system, or that being good makes good things happen. I do think that being a good person, however you define that, has value and should be strived for. But I don't think there is some universal power which metes out punishment or reward based on an arbitrary system of good or bad actions.
   I don't follow the Wiccan Rede, because I am not Wiccan, firstly, and secondly because I believe that sometimes "harm" is good and necessary. Sometimes a small harm now prevents a greater harm later, or is being done for a larger purpose, such as the "harm" done to my daughter when she had her cardiac procedure in order to correct a dangerous irregular heartbeat. Sometimes its being done to protect something, like when I have to kill a hive of wasps that is above my garage (my husband is severely allergic). Sometimes its simply a matter of deciding that the action is necessary, and taking it.
    I don't believe in the rule of three, in any sense. I do believe that our mindset, be it positive or negative, effects our life, and that how we treat other people directly effects how other people, in a very general sense, treat us (ie if you are nice to people they are usually nice to you, if you are jerk they are generally a jerk in return). But life experience has shown me that bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people all the time. And that's not even getting into the stickety-wicket of who decides what is "good" and "bad" to begin with....
   I have hexed. I have done bindings and banishings. I deal with spirits, both on friendly terms and commanding them (usually to leave a place). I am very pragmatic in my magic; I do what needs doing. And there has never been any terrible consequence to me from anything I have done (although I will add here that I am very careful and I know what I am doing). The greatest consequence I have faced is the judgment and censure from some people within the pagan community for being open about the sort of witch that I am. 

   I think, sometimes, that paganism has spent so many decades trying to convince the rest of the world that we are all harmless and safe that anytime someone comes along and says, "No if it needs doing I'll do it, even if its sad or unpleasant or hard" there is an automatic response of immediately rejecting that idea. We don't want to own the dark witch anymore, or we want to make it a clear cut matter of "good/light" and "bad/dark". We have bought into our own PR and we want our witchcraft safe and nice and palatable for the masses of non-pagans. We don't want the dark and scary as a serious practice, only as a sort of juvenile "phase" that we say people will grow out of or as a side-show all-flash-no-substance joke. Its not easy to break out of that mindset, as a community. Heck it was hard for me. Everyone wants to be the hero in the story, not the pragmatist.

   There are all sorts of witches in the world and that's exactly as it should be. We need the variety. Some are very gentle. Some are very loving. Some are very peaceful. Some are all of that but if their back is against a wall they will defend themselves.
   I am not that sort.
    I was told once, in a visionary experience, that I needed to own the idea of being a badb, a bantúaithech, for lack of a better translation an "old school witch". Someone who isn't afraid of doing what needs doing. Who can heal or hex without hesitation. Who isn't afraid to go where other people truly do fear to tread. Who owns their own darkness and understands the balance that is needed between dark and light to preserve Firinne (truth/right order). The word badb itself when applied to a human means a witch of the dark and dangerous sort, the kind who shows up and gives an ill prophecy and then works magic to ensure it happens. A cursing-witch. The word bantúaithech* is related to the word túaithe and has strong negative connotations, being related to túaithbel meaning lefthand-wise, against the sun, to cursing, of working against the positive, and is also related through túath to the aos sidhe who witches were reputed to deal with and get much of their skill and knowledge from. So a badb or bantúaithech is a witch who works against the sun and who deals with the fairy folk, who curses and prophesies.
This was not a message I wanted to hear, nor one I was quick to embrace.
    I really didn't want to be that person.
    Because there is a comfort in acceptance. There is a comfort in staying weak, and avoiding confrontation, and letting other people handle the messy work. There is a comfort in being able to say "I am harmless and good and only ever help everyone".
     But you can't fight dán and a raven can't be a robin no matter how much it wishes it was.
So I have spent a lot of time learning to be a bantuaithech, an old school witch, and learning that you can still be kind and gentle even when you are the one who knows how to hex and does it when it needs doing. Learning that you can still be nice even when you are the one who isn't afraid to walk straight into the darkness and handle what you find there, and you are the one who does the things that generally seem to horrify so many other people. I had to learn that all those frightening connotations with the words badb and bantúaithech nonetheless represent the preservation of right-order, of fírinne - the dark witch doesn't curse for fun or maliciousness but in the myths and stories she does so to bring back order when there is a great imbalance. She uses her own power to correct imbalances, often by bringing down important people - often kings or heroes -  who have abused their power or greatly transgressed the social order. She is not a bad person but she is the one who must do the dirty work in the stories in order to bring back balance. I had to learn not to fear using power when it needed to be used, especially in situations where those who were otherwise powerless needed to have someone act for them. I learned, ultimately that sometimes the only way to preserve right-order is to go against it for a time.
    I am that sort of witch, but it doesn't make me a bad person - if anything it has made me a better person because I understand the fear, and anger, and hatred that far too often drive other people.I embrace the darkness because I don't see it as frightening or dangerous, just as beautiful and empowering. I can empathize with suffering and being broken because I have been there. I appreciate the importance of being good and kind because I am so aware of the reality of the other side of that. I am kind not because I fear the consequences of not being kind - I don't - but because I know the value of kindness for its own sake. 

......but like Al Capone said: "Don't mistake my kindness for weakness. I am kind to everyone, but when someone is unkind to me, weak is not what you are going to remember about me."

*I've discussed in previous blogs that I am both a witch and a Druid. I see the first as a personal practice, a skill, and the second as a role within the community. In my life they provide balance and dovetail nicely with each other, and both work within my Irish Reconstructionist Polytheism.
* okay that's a bit of hyperbole on my part, but its complicated. I've blogged about it previously here
* - I am editing this to clarify a point: the word bantúaithech is Old Irish and is the word used in the myths to describe female magic users, generally translated as "witch". Be Chullie and Dianann are referred to this way in the Cath Maige Tuired when Lugh asks what power they will bring to the fight (they promise to enchant the trees and stones and earth to appear as a great army by the way), and a further list of ten women of the Tuatha De Danann is given and described this way in the Banshenchus. The word, however, did not survive into modern Irish. There is a similar term, tuathánach, which means rustic or country dweller and tuathbheartach means evil-doing. Interestingly túathgeinte, meaning the Good Folk did survive as tuathghinte in modern Irish. Similarly badb, meaning a witch, is Old or middle Irish; in modern Irish babdbh when applied to a human means a scold and only has vague connotations of cursing. 

excerpt from my current work in progress

I'm a bit behind on blogging and translations because I'm in the middle of a new book draft for Pagan Portals: Brigid. The idea of doing more goddess-themed Pagan Portals was suggested by someone on my facebook author page and my publisher really liked it, and asked if I'd be interested in writing about Brigid. I'm about 14,000 words into the 25,000 word draft and its about all I've had time to work on, excluding real life child care (the never ending work-in-progress). So today I thought it would be fun to share a small excerpt from the new book in progress. Although the main focus of the book is specifically on the pagan Goddess Brighid it's inevitable that saint Brigid will have to be discussed too....

Brigid – Goddess and Saint

Our modern understanding of Brigid is largely the result of a blending of the features of the pagan Goddess and Catholic saint (Clark, 1991). There is a sharp divide among scholars on the subject with some like Kim McCone stating that saint Brigid, particularly in her later stories, shows a clear separation from the pagan Brigid, while others like Marie-Louise Sjoestedt say that the saint is an accurate preservation of the Goddess. This makes it difficult and at times almost impossible to untangle one from the other, particularly from material that dates to the transition period when Ireland was still nominally pagan and not yet entirely Christian. We can see this for example in the proliferation of both mythic figures and saints named Brigid as well as the characteristics of the early saint Brigid which clearly reflected earlier mythic patterns, such as providing food and drink to those in need (McCone, 2000). In the Lebor Gabala Erenn we are told that the Dagda is Brigid’s father and that he also had a son named Aed; interestingly saint Brigid also was associated with a person named Aed, in this case a fellow saint. Saint Aed was said to have founded a monastery with buildings dedicated to saint Brigid and saint Brigid was said to have invoked the name of saint Aed to miraculously cure a headache (McCone, 2000).  Those seeking to connect to the Goddess today will have to decide for themselves what they feel genuinely reflects older pagan beliefs and what may have evolved in the later Christian period.

   Saint Brigid was reputed to be the best brewer in Ireland, and her association with beer, ale, and brewing were shared by her counterparts the Welsh Saint Ffraid and the Scottish saint Bride. This particular association may reflect and older pagan belief connected to Brigid of Smithcraft, as it was not uncommon for smith deities to also be Gods of brewing. The Irish smith God Goibniu, for example was associated with brewing as well as smithing. Goibniu had a special mead or ale called the fled Goibnenn, “drink of Goibniu”, that conveyed the gift of youth and immortality to the Tuatha De Danann (O hOgain, 2006). Similarly the Welsh Gofannon was a brewer as well as smith and the Gaulish Secullos, the “Good striker”, although not known explicitly as a smith God was depicted with a hammer and associated with wine.

    Saint Brigid is most strongly associated with Kildare where her church stands near her sacred healing well; the church itself features a perpetual flame tended by Brigadine nuns. Although the perpetual flame cannot be traced with certainty back to the Irish pagan period Brigid’s British counterpart Brigantia had a temple under the guise of Brigantia-Minerva which also featured a perpetual flame (Puhvel, 1987). The Irish saint Brigid and the Scottish saint Bride are believed to be both the midwife and foster-mother of Jesus Christ and both are very strongly connected to childbirth, potentially reflecting older mother Goddess concepts.